Page 72 of Tribute
Kai briefly closed his eyes. “It’s not that bad . . .”
“Fuck that. Why didn’tyougo home? Why do you hang around with Rehz Akran? Because hegetsit, because?—”
“He fucks me the way I need to be fucked. Hard.” Kai met Aled’s gaze. “I’ve had plenty of trainees and I’ve been here before. Don’t cling to me. You’re not what I want.”
Aled leaned in as pain crowded his throat. “You just want to be hurt.”
“Yes.” Kai hesitated. “Ineedto be hurt to get off.”
“Because you think you deserve to be punished for what you have to do?” Aled shook his head. “That’s it, isn’t it? You hate what you have to do because inside you—insideyou is the man you were before you had to face theUngrich.”
“You’re a shrink now, Price?”
“I’m goddamn right.”
Kai glared at him. “You are out of your fucking mind. I am what I am. I like what I am. You just can’t get it through your stupid skull that I don’t want you or need anyone in my life.”
Aled’s heart stuttered and he struggled to breathe. Gods, thathurt. Silence fell, broken only by Kai’s harsh breathing.
“Then what would you like me to do to you,sir?” Aled licked the seam between Kai’s hard lips and then kissed him.
With a groan, Kai fought him off. “Don’t fuck with me. Stop this right now. Don’t . . .”
ThatAled could do for him. Without another word he untied Kai, turned on his heel, and walked away. This time he couldn’t stop the tears from falling. His bedroom door had a lock on it, and he intended to use it.
His cock was hard and he jerked himself off in the shower, wondering if Kai was doing the same and if he’d kept the dildo in while he did it.
An uneasy combination of misery and anger coiled in his gut. Was Kai right? Was there nothing between them except this crazy fucked-up training experience? Kai should know. Kai had been through this with more than oneUngrichsurvivor. In a few weeks’ time, when he was cleared by the military and far away from Kai Mexr, maybe he’d look back at this moment and curl up in embarrassment at himself.
He dried off and left the bathroom. Maybe he would feel that way, but he didn’t think so. Of course by the time he worked that out, he’d have no way of contacting Kai and telling him. He crawled into bed naked and pictured the way Kai had looked tied up for him, how it had felt to kiss him and feel him respond.
Kaihadresponded before he’d laid on all thatgreezabout Aled having anUngrich-induced, unreciprocated crush on him. The flash of surprise in Kai’s eyes when Aled had stepped back stayed with him. Was it the first time anyone had allowed Kai to decide what hewantedrather than imposing it on him? Just because Kai liked it hard didn’t mean he had to take it every time. Did he not know that? Had he never been in an equal relationship? As sleep overwhelmed him, Aled held on to that tantalizing thought. Maybe, just maybe, things weren’t as cut-and-dried as Kai would like them to be. If he had to give Kai some time alone to recognize his true feelings, then that’s what Aled would do—and maybe he’d come to understand his own a little better in the process.
This might be the end of everything, but at least thanks to Kai and theUngrich, he knew how to survive the unendurable. If Kai didn’t want him? It would tear him apart, but he’d move on.
CHAPTER
SIX
“Come in.” Kai held the door open as Rehz Akran and his mate Anna Lee came into his apartment. “How are you both?”
“More importantly, how are you?” Rehz’s professional gaze swept over Kai. “You survived—as did your trainee, so you’re out of the program, right?”
“If he survives to be medically cleared.” Kai helped himself to akvasand offered one to Anna and Rehz.
Anna’s strange blue eyes locked on his face. “You think he’s that fragile? Is that why you asked us over?” She turned to survey the small apartment. “Where is he?” She was dressed in a tight blue T-shirt and a skirt short enough for Rehz to get his hands up it whenever he wanted. And Rehz hadn’t taken his hands off Anna since she emerged fromUngrichspace.
“In his room.” Kai sighed. “He locked the door on me yesterday. I haven’t seen him since.”
Her face paled. “Is he still alive?”
“I assume so. He’s not the kind of person to kill himself.” Kai hoped he was telling the truth. The devastated look on Price’s face when he’d turned him down refused to erase itself from his memory. “I’ll go and see if he’s up. I wanted him to tell you whathe learned from theUngrichbefore he blurted it out to anyone official.”
“Why?” Rehz’s smile disappeared.
“You’ll see.” Kai went down the hallway and banged on Price’s door. “Hey, we’ve got company. Come out.”
The door opened and Price stood there, his expression unsmiling. He wore a thin white T-shirt that made him look even paler than usual, and low-slung military pants that barely clung to his hips. He stepped past Kai, deliberately knocking into him. There was no warmth in Price’s gaze, which made Kai feel better, but also made him feel like a complete bastard.
