Page 26 of Clause & Effect
“If you say so,” I shrug before finishing my drink.
“So what now?” Jayson asks. “Besides having dinner with them tonight? And just so you know, I had planned on binge watchingAliens On Earththis evening. I’d even planned my meal and what bottle of wine I’d have them bring up from the cellar.” He sighs. “I know they’re in the arctic I just need to fucking prove it!”
I stand and pour myself another drink.
“As exciting as an alien reality series followed by hunting does sound, you’ll have to take a raincheck.”
“Do you have any idea what my life is like with three children under the age of four?” Jayson shoots me a look of desperation.“The noise never stops. That’s all I wanted from this trip— quiet. I can’t even go to the bathroom without screaming.”
“Yeah, that’s not new, man.”
“Shut the hell up! You know what I mean!”
“You love those little hellions,” I laugh. “And so do I. The noise is worth it, you literally sleep with a fan and the tv on now because silence gives you anxiety.”
“Hell is the perfect word to describe the state of my life right now,” Jayson diverts the conversation and his head. “My wife doesn’t think I help enough and every time she looks at me, I swear to God, Stetson, she looks like she wants to kill me.”
I remember the look on Evelyn, his wife’s face, when she opened the door and saw me, since I picked Jayson up. To be fair to my cousin, she didn’t look like her usual cheerful self.
“She did look like those women on those crime documentaries that end up poisoning their significant others.”
Jayson pales. “My stomach has been off.”
“I’m kidding, but she did look pissed.”
Jayson shakes his hand up in the air like an Evangelical minister. I’m guessing he’s looking for validation.
“See!” He shoots back another drink. “And now she talks to herself, Stetson! And when I catch her mumbling about me the words I’ve been able to decipher are— useless, moron, inept and missing braincells… a few colorful ones I remember…”
I burst out laughing.
“I’m serious, man! You should see the look in her eyes. Stetson, it’s like a wild animal’s taken over,” he shakes like even he can’t believe it, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything more humorous than him losing his mind over his wife and kids, wasn’t he just a bachelor a few years ago?
“She’s incredible,” I manage.
Jayson narrows his eyes at me then sighs. “I know.”
I’m proud of Jayson. I smile over at him, thoroughly enjoying the moment of clarity. She drives him crazy but he wouldn’t want it any other way. Love is like that. I find myself insanely jealous in that moment, jealous of his chaos and noise.
Jayson pins me with his gaze.
“Just so you know, IfeltEvelyn too—and look at us now,” he says dryly. “I’m going to have to buy her a really good gift this year.”
He’s not the heir so him feeling her isn’t as big of a deal as me feeling someone, but it’s still massive at least for Jayson.
“I might have a few ideas,” I smile.”
Jayson leans back in his chair.
“Clearly, you have much to look forward to.”
I think about all the experiences I have yet to have with Charlie—the kind where she’s naked, wet and moaning.
“Indeed.”
“A very Merry Christmas.”
“Ho. Ho. Ho.” I wink.
