Page 60 of The Viscount's Diamond Bride
Ursula swallowed. “I have heard the name Jane.”
“Well, her surname hardly matters. She was only a merchant’s daughter, and not even a very rich one at that. She was a great beauty, though. If she’d had breeding, she would have taken Society by storm. She captured Graham’s heart entirely. He adored her with every fibre of his being. When it ended…” she trailed away, shaking her head. “Oh, he crumbled. He has never been the same since. He told me that he would never love again, and I frankly believe him. I saw him with Miss Whitmore. I saw how he was, and how he behaved. And, my love, he does not act the same way withyou. I am sorry.”
Silence stretched out, and Ursula swallowed rapidly. Bile stung the back of her throat. She glanced down at the half-buttered piece of toast on her plate, and it filled her with nothing but nausea.
Margaret sighed deeply. “Oh, what a mess it all was. It’s over now, but Graham would never allow himself to fall in love that way again. I’m sorry to tell you of this, my dear, but I can’t watch you get thewrong impression,you know. Best to know the facts.”
Ursula rose unsteadily to her feet. “Yes,” she managed tremulously. “I… I suppose so.”
Margaret clucked her tongue. “Where are you going?”
Ursula swallowed thickly. “I am going to dress, and then… then I think I will go to visit my friend. I… I would like to speak to Charlotte, I believe.”
Margaret watched her sharply over the rim of her teacup.
“Very well, my dear,” she answered placidly. “You do just that.”
***
“It felt so real,” Ursula whispered, staring into the depths of her teacup. The way he touched me, the way he kissed me…” she trailed off, aware that she was offering too many details for her poor friend. “Was the dowager correct in what she said? Am I simply a silly girl who can’t differentiate a man’s duty and a man’s love?”
To her credit, Charlotte did not seem shocked or disgusted. She only listened carefully, pouring out fresh tea whenever Ursula finished her cup. At last, she set aside the teapot and heaved a sigh.
“I am a spinster, and of course a maid,” Charlotte said tactfully, “so I am not sure I am qualified to make a proper comment. However, Graham does not seem to be a master of the arts of subterfuge. If he acts a certain way and says a certain thing, surely he means it?”
“Ay, but Margaret assured me that men think entirely differently from women,” Ursula sniffed. “That a woman would take the… theskilful performance of marital dutiesto imply love, when really it is no such thing. How would I know any different?”
Charlotte pursed her lips. “Well, perhaps so, but why should the Dowager Lady Sinclair know any more of the matter than you? She was wedded to only one man; you are wedded to only one man. So far, your experiences are surely the same.”
“No, no, I know differently. The old Lord Sinclair was a vile beast. I daresay poor Margaret led an awful life. And besides, she knows Graham more than anybody else in the world. If she says something about him, then surely it is true. Perhaps… Perhaps love really does not exist, and all the poems and books have led us wrong.” She threw herself back in the sofa with a cry of despair. “I finishedFrankenstein,you know. The creature sinks into despair. There is no love for him in the world, he understands, and he is doomed to loneliness. Is that all life is? AmIa monstrous creation, destined for a life alone?”
“Ursula, you must calm down at once,” Charlotte said firmly, looking her in the eye. “I understand why you are upset. You care very much for Lord Sinclair, and you wish for him to love you back. I hope so, too. Let me tell you this. I may not be Lord Sinclair’s mother, but I have a working knowledge of people and observant eyes. I believe that he is beyond fond of you. Perhaps he is falling in love with you too. At any rate, there is something there beyondduty, I can assure you of that.”
“But why would Margaret say…”
“Oh, good gracious, Ursula, do not be so naïve. The dowager Lady Sinclair is used to having her son’s affection all to herself. As Georgie said, she is not even his birth mother, so perhaps she feels that her position is more precarious than ever. He wedded against her advice and wishes and shows no regret. In fact, he is thriving. He is happy, and he is in love. She strikes me as a spiteful woman, and that is all I shall say on the matter.”
This made Ursula swallowed hard.
“A spiteful woman,” she echoed. “Would… Would she really try to ruin our marital bliss out of spite?”
Charlotte shrugged. “I could not say, but I will say this. Do not take her at her word. You mentioned earlier that Lord Sinclair plans to ask her to move out of the house, yes? Perhaps she is chagrined. Perhaps she plots revenge. Then again,” Charlotte leaned back, making an expansive gesture, “perhaps not. But you mustinvestigatethese things. You are not a weak woman, or a silly one. I believe it is love that is making you act this way, but you must push past it and use your logical brain, my dear. Get to the bottom of all this.”
Ursula sniffed. Shewasbeginning to feel better. Charlotte was always practical and no-nonsense.
“I knew you would tell me what I needed to hear,” she said at last, smiling weakly. “Thank you, Charlotte. Tell me, how am I to get to the bottom of all this?”
“You must speak with Lord Sinclair,” Charlotte said firmly. “Tell him of your feelings and enquire as to his. Tell him what his mother has said to you, and of your worries. Give him all of the information and see how he takes it. See what hedoes. You might be surprised.”
Chapter Twenty
“The breaking of so great a thing should make a greater crack: the round world should have shook lions into civil streets, and citizens to their dens.” – Antony and Cleopatra,William Shakespeare
All the way home, Ursula sat forward in the carriage, willing the horses to go faster. As the coachman seemed to be driving painfully slow.
Just move,she thought under her breath, digging her teeth into her lower lip.Why can you not hurry? Please, hurry!
If she had been a more impatient sort of woman, she might have hammered on the roof of the carriage, urging the driver on faster and faster.
