Page 7 of Fearless
I don’t turn in his direction when I acknowledge him. “What can I do for you, Russ?”
“I have a question about the vows. Will you be reciting your own, or…”
“We’ll be saying our own,” I interrupt. I want to look into Harper’s chocolate-brown eyes and have her know that every word I say is the truth. I want it to come from my heart and not simply regurgitating preset promises. While there is nothing wrong with the traditional vows, the idea of having and holding Harper, both in sickness and in health, as well as loving and cherishing her ’til death do us part, is a promise I can’t make when she has already mentioned getting an annulment when we find her parents.
The music starts playing through the speakers, and it’s Savannah who walks down the aisle first. She gives me a playful wink, then smiles brightly at her fiancé, Aiden, who is busy taking pictures for us. Aiden gets into position and starts snapping away when the music changes. I should have known that Amelia would put her spin on the wedding march because rather than the standard “Here Comes the Bride,” it’s Matthew West’s voice that fills the sanctuary with his song “The Day Before You.”
Harper glides around the corner, and I gasp when I see the angelic creature draped in white. Her dress shimmers and sparkles as the light hits the beaded waistband. She glances at me shyly and begins to take slow, timid steps in my direction. Halfway up the aisle, she stops, and her eyes well up with tears. Unable to stand there and wait for her to come to me, I go to her so I can wipe away her sorrow. She needs me now more than ever.
Wrapping my arms around Harper, I pull her close to me and tuck her head just below my chin. Stroking her hair, I say, “We don’t have to do this, Harper. Just say the word, and we’ll figure something else out. It hurts me to see you hurting. I’ll do whatever you need to ease the pain.”
She steps out of my hold and glances up at me through her long lashes. Her vulnerability guts me. Harper has always been fearless, determined, and resolute in her decisions. Like me, she never backs down. “Talk to me, Harper. Share your fear withme so we can work through it together.”
Harper gulps in air and leans around me to peek at the dozen or so people standing at the front of the church. She lowers her voice and admits, “This is all so overwhelming for me, Roger. It was supposed to be just the two of us, a few witnesses, and a judge. A wedding like this is meant for two people totally in love with one another. This feels so…so…”
“Forever?” I finish for her. She nods, and I use the pad of my thumb to wipe away a stray tear. “But it’s not real, Harper. You plan to get this marriage annulled as soon as we find your parents, and you won’t be tied down to an old codger like me. Despite how it feels, it’s still nothing more than a ruse and another case of going undercover.”
I could kick myself for saying that last part, but I needed to hear it as much as Harper did. I have no business being attracted to my best friend’s daughter and I’ll need to keep that in the forefront of my mind as we move forward with this cockamamie plan.
Harper places her hand on my chest and pushes me away. “You’re absolutely right, Roger. This will be like any other undercover operation, our friendship and history notwithstanding.I’ve had to kiss plenty of men in the line of duty. What’s one more?”
I rear back like I’ve been slapped. Not only does the idea of her kissing any man other than me not sit well in the pit of my stomach, but it erases any notion left in my mind that Harper is still my best friend’s ‘little girl.’ I don’t know what comes over me when I speak my next words.
With my lips just barely touching the shell of her ear and my warm breath caressing her skin, I whisper, “Then you should have no problem kissing me.”
I have an overwhelming sense of satisfaction when her body shudders, and she mumbles almost incoherently, “No. Noproblem at all.”
I loop her arm in mine and finish walking her down the aisle to stand in front of the pastor. She passes her bouquet to Savannah so that I can hold both of her hands in mine. “This is your last chance to back out, Harper.”
Harper throws her shoulders back and lifts her chin almost defiantly. “No. I’m fully committed.” A part of me wonders if she’s talking about being fully committed to the operation or to me. Is it wrong that I secretly pray it’s both?
“Commitment is an important part of the adventure you are about to embark on,” Pastor Russ says, smiling. “The circumstances that surround this marriage aren’t your typical reasons for uniting together under God and these witnesses, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a strong love present. It’s a love of friendship that has spanned more than two decades and evolved over time as both of you have dedicated your life to serving others and the Lord.”
Russ opens his Bible and runs his finger down the page. “Here it is. This is the part where I would quote scripture from the King James Bible, such as Proverbs 18:22 ‘Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD,’ or Matthew 19:6 ‘Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.’
“But I won’t do that,” he jokes. “Both of you are entering this union with a specific intent, but do not doubt that it is love that guides your actions. It’s love for a parent and love for a friend that unifies you in your purpose. It’s with this purpose that I believe Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 is relevant. It states that ‘Twoare better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour.For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.’
“The two of you are stronger together than alone in your endeavors. You will be there to lift each other up and support one another when times get tough and when obstacles are put in your path. And if God is at the center of your relationship, whether that’s as friends or something more, then there is nothing that can’t be overcome when you turn your struggles over to the Lord.”
Pastor Russ closes his Bible and asks us if we are ready to make our commitment to one another, albeit a temporary one. “I am,” I tell him. I face Harper and take a few precious moments to appreciate this strong and independent woman in front of me before saying my vows.
“Harper Leigh Finnegan, I take you as my wife until God sees fit to part us. I promise to protect you with my life and all that I am. I promise to care for you and support you in all you do, and I’ll give you your heart’s desires as long as it’s in my power to do so. I’m a private man who often keeps my emotions and feelings to myself, yet I find myself wanting to share everything with you. If you ever need to know what I’m thinking, all you have to do is ask. I will always be open and honest with you.”
I give Harper’s hands a gentle squeeze, hinting that it’s her turn to speak. “Roger James Cavenaugh, I take you as my husband until it’s time for us to part. The promises you’ve madeare ones you’ve been keeping to me for my entire life; therefore, I have no reason to doubt the truth in your words. As a child, I wasn’t able to protect you, care for you, or support you, nor could I give you your heart’s desire. Standing here before you as a woman and your friend, I can do all those things and more. I promise I will do my utmost as I stand by your side, and we face the trials ahead.”
“It’s time to exchange the rings,” Pastor Russ says.
Ethan hands me a ring that appears to be a five-carat round diamond encircled with smaller amethyst gems. I gently place it on her left ring finger and tell her, “This ring is more than it appears to be. It’s not just a symbol of this union, but a tool that may one day save your life.”
“I’m sure you’ll explain that cryptic statement later,” she teases. Harper turns around when Savannah taps on her shoulder and then gives her a platinum wedding band we use when needed for undercover work. She slides it onto my left ring finger, her hands shaking the entire time. “Why does this feel so monumental?” she asks no one in particular.
I gently raise her chin so that her eyes meet mine. “Because it is, Harper. We just made promises to each other in front of God. That shouldn’t be taken lightly, regardless of the circumstances.”
Pastor Russ bobs his head in agreement and says, “Speaking of promises, why don’t we seal this deal with a kiss? By the powers vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Roger, you may now kiss your bride.”
Chapter five
Harper
