Page 26 of Be Still My Racing Heart
Typically, Teague and I don’t bother knocking, but this time we do since we aren’t entirely sure how welcome the reception will be. Instead of the butler opening the door, it’s our father. His gray hair is standing on end as if he’s been running his fingers through it. Randall Morrison stands before us, haggard, tired, and aged by ten years in only a matter of hours.
“Thank you for coming. I’m sure that this house is the last place you want to be right now,” he says, gesturing for us to come in. “It’s late, but I had Mel put together some food for you. I figure you haven’t had a chance to eat after the race.”
On cue, my stomach rumbles and moves me toward the dining room like I’m on puppet strings. The scent of Tex-Mex foods fills the air and makes my mouth water. “You had Mel prepare my favorite. You only do that when you have a bomb to drop on us.”
“That’s not true,” Dad replies with a frown.
Teague snorts as he takes a seat at the table. “It absolutely is. Do you want to drop the bomb while we eat, or after?”
Ryder pulls out the chair for me and then sits to my left while Dad takes a seat at the head of the table. Mel carts out the plates filled with chicken and chorizo enchiladas, topped with a creamy pepperjack cheese sauce.
While we dig in, Ryder bows his head and silently says grace before picking up his fork. This is a side of Ryder that hasn’t been shown before, but I’m pleased to see it come out. Dad raises an eyebrow but says nothing.
I’ve only taken a few bites before Teague and Ryder have cleared their plates. “What’s the rush?” I ask. Ryder glances at Teague, who then glances between me and our father.
“I wanted a full belly before I lost my appetite,” my brother says.
Dad sighs. “I deserved that. For what it’s worth. I’m sorry.”
I see why the guys ate so quickly, because my stomach begins to churn. I set down my silverware and push back my plate. “Sorry about what, exactly?”
Ryder’s hand rests on my thigh below the table. He doesn’t squeeze, rub, or caress. He simply keeps it there to let me know that he’s with me. It’s not as if I could forget. Ryder’s presence can fill a room.
Dad leans forward on his elbows, and his gaze meets mine, then Ryder’s, and lastly, Teague’s. “I’m sorry about everything. Ryder, I asked you to come tonight because I owe you an apology. I’ve let my assumptions cloud my judgment and skew my actions. I assumed that your past would repeat itself, and I viewed you as a thief. I tried to let it go, but I didn’t try hard enough.”
“I was a thief,” Ryder says bluntly, but there’s no derision in his voice.
“You still are, if stealing my daughter’s heart counts,” Dad says with a small smile. “The phrase ‘a leopard cannot change its spots’ is said for a reason. Changing a person’s true nature at its core is nearly impossible. But that’s just it, your true nature is good, and I failed to see that until it was too late. It was your actions I didn’t condone, but I focused on the crime, and not the fact that you did the right thing in the end. For that, I’m sorry. I hope one day you can forgive me.”
“You’re forgiven,” Ryder blurts.
Dad rears back as does Teague, both surprised by his response. Teague narrows his gaze at Ryder. “You forgive him that easily?”
Ryder nods. “It’s either that or harbor a grudge that will fester and turn into resentment.” Turning his head toward my father, he says, “It wasn’t wrong to be wary of me in the beginning, but you had ten years to change your mind. I understand you were being protective, not only of your children, but of your legacy. However, I’ve proven time and time again that I’m not the person you thought me to be. But now that you see the light, I’m willing to start with a clean slate because Teague may as well be my brother, and I plan to be in your daughter’s life for a very long time. I’m not willing to give up my relationships with either of them for your approval. What you do with the clean slate is up to you, but you have it. If anyone understands what it means to get a second chance, it’s me.”
“Thank you, Ryder. I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I appreciate it.” Dad addresses me next. “Blake, I only wanted what’s best for you and your brother, and what started out as a test became written in stone for me. Once I had formulated a plan, I was unyielding and saw everything as black and white. Your mother and I had a long conversation after the race today about my rigid stance. My unwillingness to concede or compromise already ruined my relationship with her. I’m afraid it’s going to ruin my relationship with you.”
It was much more than his inability to bend that caused a rift between him and Mom, but I refrain from calling him out on it. Admitting that he’s wrong is hard enough; he doesn’t need me to throwhispast in his face. Oh, the irony. Instead, I ask, “What test are you talking about?”
Running a hand through his hair and breathing in and out through his nose several times, he looks everywhere but at me. I’m not used to seeing such a tough man appear so insecure. “You might wonder why I supported your brother driving and not you, Blake. Part of it was for your safety because driving requires physical strength and stamina while taking a toll on the body. Careers for women are short-lived in comparison. But that wasn’t the only reason or the main one. I offered your brother the same choice I offered you: racing or inheriting the company. He chose driving because that was all he ever wanted. You chose the company, so I believed it meant that driving wasn’t a passion for you like it was for Teague. I thought it was just a whim for you.”
Closing my eyes, I take a moment to let go of the frustration building inside me. If only we had talked about this so many years ago. “I didn’t choose the company; I choseyou, Dad. When Teague walked away from the responsibility, I didn’t feel as though I had a choice. I saw your heartbreak, and it stuck with me. I knew how much keeping Morrison Motors in the family meant to you. However, I thought I would have the chance to live my life until the time came to assume the role. I tried to abide by your wishes, but I didn’t want to live with regret. I went to the track and raced for fun, but it wasn’t until this year that I finally got the chance to put my skills to the test. The worst part about it is that I couldn’t share the thrill or joy with you. I had to hide.”
“She shouldn’t have had to do that, Dad,” Teague says. “And I shouldn’t have had to keep her secret.”
Ryder’s hand squeezes my leg gently as realization hits. “Is that why you didn’t want me to meet your sister?”
My brother shakes his head and then begins to nod. “I didn’t want the two of you to meet for the reason I gave you. I truly was afraid that someone would come after my sister to get to you. I had no idea it would be Dad, but….”
“I didn’t know that ‘Reggie’ was your sister,” our father defends.
Teague waves away the comment with a few flips of his hand and continues to answer Ryder’s question. “But yeah, I suppose deep down I knew that the two of you would hit it off and that you would inspire her to go against our father and race. And you did just that, even if you didn’t know that she was already doing it. Blake was only supposed to race for one year as Reggie and then disappear. None of this was supposed to happen.”
Yet, it did, and we’ve all paid the price.
Ryder
Randallsitsatthehead of the table, defeated, but I want to know if he’s genuinely trying to make amends or just save face. “Sir, are you going to allow Blake to continue racing?”
