Page 32 of Breakaway Heart
He sighed at me.“Okay. But just so you know, I make a hell of a breakfast. Champagne, smoked salmon, the works.”
“The breakfast buffet where I’m staying is actually pretty great,” I lied.
It was hard to know who I was disappointing, him or myself? And why? I just knew that I wanted to be alone right now, to process this all properly.
“Just don’t mistake this for anything other than sex, Randy.”
“Right, so you don’t feel anything? You wanted a good fuck. You got it, now you’re gone.”
“Randy. My body likes yours. I mean, goddamnit! It’s very attracted to you, and I needed to let off some steam. But my brain does not trust or particularly like you.”
“Ouch,” he grimaced in pain.
“C’mon, you know who you are.”
“Lucy, if this is all fake, then why the fuck does it feel so real?”
“You’re wrong. And I can’t fall for you. It’s already gone too far.”
The honk of my car outside meant the conversation ended right there, with Randy looking at me in angry disappointment—like it wasmewho was the nightmare—and me hastily grabbing my scattered clothes from the floor and leaving him there.
I felt bad and annoyed with myself about what I’d said to him. I knew it was cold. But it was Randall. He couldhandle it. Still, after everything he’d told me, it didn’t feel right. I knew I’d just been prickly and said those things to get some time for myself.
It wasn’t that I wanted to hurt him, it was thatIdidn’t want to get hurt. I could feel myself opening up to the chance, the idea of an opportunity with him, and I knew how that would end. How it would always end with Randall. How it had ended with Jack.
I cursed that his name had come into my head. If Randy hadn’t asked about why I wasn’t married, then maybe the night would have ended differently, and I wouldn’t have tried to push him away so cruelly.
Perhaps if the next day wasn’t what it was too, then I could’ve just enjoyed it. But I knew those familiar ugly feelings were waiting for their moment to appear when it came.
I resolved that tomorrow I’d fix it with Randy. I’d apologise, explain a little, perhaps even get a good wild romp in, and everything would be forgotten.
14
GONE
I woke so peacefully the next morning that, for a moment, I nearly forgot what day it was. Maybe being in a different country meant that all those dreaded feelings that came with that day couldn’t get to me? They were stuck back home, wondering where I was for their yearly ritual of tormenting me, powerless to reach me out here.
It was wishful thinking. I padded over to my door, put the do not disturb sign outside, then went back to bed and pulled the duvet over my head.
At least I still had the tasty memories of the previous night to keep me distracted. It was hard to think of anything else, and I was pleased about that. I daydreamed through the morning, wondering with exquisite fascination what the night might hold in store.
Leon noticed my smile and raised an eyebrow at me as I crossed the lobby that afternoon. No longer slumped and shuffling reluctantly around the resort, looking for a place to be, and finding nowhere.
As the evening came, I really thought that this day might actually be okay, and I would make it through unscathed. Itook the time to dress beautifully for the evening. There were no pretenses now. No fear of sending out false signals. I could be as fabulous as I wanted to feel.
I hadn’t even expected to take my favorite black dress out on the trip, but it had come with me anyway. It was as revealing and sexy as it was glamorous and sensual. I even used my best make-up, those special pieces that I always carried with me, but could never bring myself to use up.
As I walked past the front desk, feeling like a glittering movie star, the two men behind the front desk looked up in surprise. They hadn’t ever seen me dressed up like this, and it clearly had an effect.
I basked in the added attention and the eyes that followed me as I went to see my new superstar lover, barely concealing a grin at the very thought of it. This would be a good day, andperhapsan even better night. Inside me, a warm glow danced like fireflies on a perfect summer night.
As the car pulled up the driveway at our usual time, the villa was shrouded in darkness. Just a single light shone from inside. It felt odd seeing it without the usual lights giving it life, but I’d find out soon enough, perhaps I could expect a candlelit dinner, or something else to delight the senses?
I stepped out of the car, my finest heels crunching pleasingly on the loose stones, and walked up to ring the doorbell.
As I did so, I found the door was already open a crack. Putting my hand against the wood, it creaked open. I pushed the door fully open and called inside, “Hello. Randall? Randy?”
The open door revealed a vacant house and a figuremoving just out of my vision. I walked in, confused, hearing a strange accent tunelessly singing to ‘Dancing In The Dark’. For a moment, I watched the man in his blue jumpsuit, running a buffer over the floor while he belted out, “You can’t start a fire!”.
