Page 12 of Madness Becomes Her
I know he’s right, so I toss down the tart, turning in my chair to watch Lewis as he plucks a feather from Bonnie’s wing and then takes off running with it.
“Look! I’ve caught a pink bird in a trap!” he shouts.
“No, you haven’t, you fool! Come back with my feather.”
“Pure madness,” Hatter says.
I grin, turning towards him. “Just the way we like it.”
I wake with a start,turning onto my back as I wipe tears from my cheeks. I’ve been here before.
It’s like the longer I’m here, the more I can feel the ghost of me.
“Was it just awful?” Hatter asks.
“What?” I ask, not realizing he was awake.
He’s sitting up in bed, his arms crossed over his broad chest. “Us. Before. Were we just awful before? Is it why you never came back?”
“ I-I don’t know. I only just remembered. But I haven’t remembered it all.”
“When you do, you’ll tell me?”
Sniffling, I sit up. “I will.”
“Dawn is breaking. We should get ready.”
“Ready for what?”
“It’s tea party day, dearest Tiger Lily; how could you forget?”
With that, he’s stuffing into pants and putting on his shoes as he grabs a shirt off the back of a chair and heads out the door.
I’m starting to feel like whatever happened to me here before, whatever made me never come back, was purely awful.
I don’t know that I want to feel that heartbreak again, either.
The memory sticks with me all morning. Every piece of china I place on the table, every little cake Hatter helps me plate. The reverie is standing just in the shadows, haunting me.
When Lewis arrives, I open my arms to him, grinning at his confusion.
“Do you remember?” he asks.
“Some.”
“Well, I think I’ll reserve my hug for when you recall everything.”
I slowly drop my arms to my sides, feeling rejected and understanding all at once.
But soon, madness ensues, and all is forgotten.
That’s the way of Wonderland. It’s probably why I spent so much time here.
I was happy here.
Until I wasn’t.
A frog I don’t know gets on the table and dances until he’s pelted with food. Perfectly good tarts. Then, Lewis regales us with some news from the kingdom that I don’t understand.
