Page 18 of A Cuddly Christmas
“It’s the best,” Molly agrees.
“But why wait?” I ask, glancing at the bathroom door.
“Ah, not sure that’s a good idea.”
“You just said being petty is fun.”
“Yeah, with a little time and space.” She has a point. I shouldn’t do anything rash…but I have never been particularly good at self-control.
Chapter Ten
PAXTON
The cold air outside helps clear my head, but doesn’t seem to do anything for my dick. What the fuck was I thinking going at her like that? I’ve fucked up everything. This is all my fault, and I’ve lost any chance I had with Tilly.
By the time I trudge through the snow to get to the barn, I know that I have to go back inside and apologize. It probably won’t do any good, but I have to explain that I got caught up and took it too far. That I’ve wanted her for so long that the moment I got her under me, I lost control.
I’m so busy going through everything I need to say that I’m not paying attention to what I’m doing or where I’m going. It’s why I forget to close the barn door behind me, and I don’t see the wheelbarrow or the shovel lying across it. And I’m not looking for Dominick, who always loves to jump up and play when I come into the barn. I’m so distracted that I’m in a daze until it all comes crashing down. Literally.
When Dominick darts out, I’m so startled by his presence that my foot catches on the wheelbarrow, and I fall on top of it. It sends the shovel flying, and I shout as I fall to the ground. The shovel sails through the air, and I watch it come back down before it smacks me on the head.
That’s all I remember before everything goes dark and then there’s nothing. I have no idea how long I’m knocked out, but I blink awake when something shakes me, and I see Tilly crouching over me with a panicked look in her eyes.
“Paxton.” She says my name like she’s already said it more than a few times. “Oh thank god you’re not dead.”
“I’m not?” The words come out groggy as a cold shiver runs through me. Why am I so damn cold?
“You’re bleeding.” Tilly is holding a towel in her hand, and it’s bloody. It looks like one of the ones I keep in the barn for medical emergencies. Am I in the barn? “Come on, let’s get you inside.”
There’s no way she can lift me up, but I’m able to lean on her as we half walk, half stumble back to the house. I’m so dizzy that I feel like I’m going to throw up, which means I probably have a concussion. We manage to make it to the porch without incident, and when we walk inside, I go straight for the couch. The power flickers when I sit down, and I curse.
“What do I do?” Tilly looks panicked as she bends over me, looking at my head.
I can feel it throbbing where the shovel hit me, but I have no idea how bad it is. “I’m sorry.”
“What?” She looks confused as she holds the towel to my head.
“About before.” I close my eyes as the dizziness takes over again. “It was too fast, and I messed up.”
“Oh,” she says, her voice soft.
“I was trying to think of what to say when I tripped.” When I open my eyes to look at her, she won’t meet my gaze. “I’ve wanted you for so long, and I lost control. I should have stopped it from getting out of hand so quickly.”
“It’s fine. It wasn’t a big deal.” She still won’t look at me, but I can see she’s trying to hide her feelings.
“It was a big deal for me,” I say, and finally she looks at me. Reaching out, I take hold of her free hand and squeeze it gently. “You’re important to me, Tilly. I’ve been trying not to fuck this up, and then I practically mauled you and you’re?—”
“A virgin, so what.” She’s suddenly angry as she jerks her hand from mine. “I’m not ashamed of it. I was waiting until I found someone I could spend the rest of my life with. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“I agree,” I say, but she’s already cutting me off.
“You know I thought you’d be different, Paxton, but I should have known better. Everyone told me to give you a chance, and that you were a nice guy, but clearly you’re a player.”
“A player?” Did I get hit in the head again?
“You were outside so long I thought something happened to you. I wanted to leave you in the cold, but I didn’t because I’m a good person.”
“You are,” I say, but she doesn’t seem to hear me.
