Page 33 of The Holidays with Dr. Mitchell
“Avery? Nat?” I heard Laney say with her usual giggle of excitement.
I bolted up from the table and rushed to the door to see my best friend and Nat hugging Laney as they entered the villa.
“Ash, darling,” Nat pulled off her oversized, gold-rimmed Versace sunglasses, and her blue eyes dazzled with her usual daring expression. “You look radiant!” she said, pulling me in for a hug before I could say anything.
“Babe?” Avery offered an adorable smile, piercing clear-blue eyes beaming beneath her black fringe bangs. “You look fully refreshed. We’ll have to inform the Hawk brothers that their pitch to Jim and Spence was a brilliant idea.”
“What do you mean?” Laney asked as I finished embracing Avery and stepped back in confusion.
“Yes, well,” Nat said, eyeing the villa, “I suppose the wholeChristmas-themedversion of this could’ve been taken down a notch.” She smiled at Laney and me, who stared at the women with confused expressions. “You know,usuallywhen couples do meditation retreats—or sexual retreats, as was my recommendation—the husbands typically stay with their wives. Kind of difficult to have sex when one partner is gone.”
“What the hell is going on here?” I asked before Laney could.
“Don’t hate us for this,” Avery said, “but we didn’t want to tell you two what the guys were planning to get Jake and Collin back for the last nutty prank they pulled because if you two knew?”
“We needed you gals to have complete deniability,” Nat said nonchalantly.
“What have you done?” Laney questioned nervously.
“I know it might feel sinful around the holidays,” Nat started, “but it was to last no more than four days, and while this silly little prank went on, you two were both to experience what Titus and his brothers pitched to Jim and Spencer after they invested in thisHawk Enterprisesresort.”
“Can you stop speaking in riddles and tell us exactly what you planned,” I answered. “Did Jim and the others ruin Christmasfor Collin and Jake by sending them to what they believed was a sexual retreat?”
“Well, if Jack was convincing enough, then no,” Avery said.
“Who is Jack?” Laney asked.
“Oh, that’s right. You probably know him as Gustoff, but his real name is Jack,” Avery continued. “If he’s been convincing enough, Jake and Collin will likely be returned to you both as two of the most spiritual beings on the planet,” she chuckled.
“I can see the looks on both your faces, and I know you’re upset you weren’t made aware of this,” Nat went on. “That is why the next part of this Christmas vacation we’re all joining you on will be replete with holiday cheer, Santa, his elves, and Jakey popping the cork and serving us all champagne in his adorable monkey suit. This was just a fun little gag for those two. So, let us fill you in,” Nat said.
“Unless you both want to stay in the dark in case Collin and Jake think you’re in on it too?” Avery said.
“Too late for that,” I said. “Besides, they’ve only been gone for four days. Sure, they came here for sex, but I don’t think they’d bethatpissed for having to leave us for a few days.”
“Let’s just say Jake and Collin are experiencing a completely different version of this amazing vacation than you two,” Nat said, pulling a laptop out of her bag and opening it. “Come here.”
“Now, don’t lose your shit when you see this,” Avery said to us. “You’ll notice that this is all being recorded live, and you may recall Jake and Collin doing something similar to Jim, Alex, and Spence?”
“Oh, yeah. When they did that survivor prank on them and stole all their camping gear while they were sleeping in the tents?” I questioned. “They recorded the entire thing, and they left the men with only the one set of clothes they had?—”
“Sweats and long johns,” Nat interrupted me with a laugh. “They hung cameras throughout that campground to make themtruly believe they were lost in the wilderness withnothingbut the clothes on their backs.”
“That was a good one,” I said, remembering Jake showing us the documentary at Jim’s birthday party and how Jim was hilariously trying to rub sticks together to light a fire. “They did good, give them credit,” I teased.
“They didsowell that those men have been plotting revenge ever since. Now,” she pointed at the laptop, “this is a live view of why we were questioning whether you two wanted to be aware of things.”
I walked over to the table, and for any other group of friends, this might be unforgivable, but not for us. The men in our friend group were like toddlers when it came to shit like this. I could see now why Laney and I were being pampered beyond any woman’s dream. They wanted to keep us busy. I was almost afraid to see what these men were putting Collin and Jake through, all while watching their reactions in real-time.
“Now,” Nat said, her nude polished acrylic pointing at a group of shirtless men sitting around some carved pole, legs crossed and palms facing up. “Everyone here, from the meditation instructors tothe men in the audience, are all a hired group of actors,” she said, smirking back at me. “Although a trained spiritualist was consulted for various things, including herbal teas and the food they ate, so they knew what they were doing,” she chuckled.
“Oh…my God. What the hell did you guys do?” Laney said as we both looked closer. Everyone was wearing bright yellow loincloths, and Jake and Collin appeared to be in their own personal meditational zone within this bullshit scripted play.
“I can’t believe Jim hired actors,” I said.
“I know. You could’ve done this even better than them,” Avery playfully nudged me, “but those two goofballs would’ve never taken it seriously.”
My eyes widened as I watched the camera zoom in on Collin and Jake humming loudly, and I shook my head. “I want to laugh, but this is horrible,” I said.
