Page 120 of Reverb
Adrian had brought a seasonal brew from a local microbrewery. Not a bad choice. David pulled out two, stuck the rest of them in the fridge, and popped the caps off both bottles.
“Appreciate you coming.” He handed the beer to Adrian.
He got another grunt that could mean anything. “Plates? Bowls?” Adrian took a drag on his bottle.
David pulled out two plates. “Fork? Or did you bring chopsticks?”
That got him a laugh. “I brought chopsticks, what do you take me for?”
“An Irish-American with a taste for guys in lipstick?”
Adrian’s lips quirked up. “First part’s right. Second part’s close, but we’re most certainly not here to talk aboutmylove life.”
David winced.
Once they’d taken what they wanted of the food, they settled around his tiny dining table. After a few quiet moments, Adrian regarded him. “I have a pretty good idea of where this conversation’s gonna go. But how about you tell me why you reached out to me?”
Rather than answer right away, David toyed with his food and took a swig of beer. When it was obvious Adrian would wait him out, he relented. “I don’t have anyone in my life I can talk to. No one I’m close with.”
Adrian sat back in his chair. “No friends from the army?”
“None that I’m gonna talk about this shit with, no.” He snagged a piece of broccoli with his chopsticks. “They’re—We talk about the times we were in, and about current work, and avoid talking about the bad stuff. Plus, I wasn’t the man I am now.” Back then, he’d been seen as butch. DADT had been in effect, but no one had asked, and he had kept his deeper secret in the closet. “I’m a loner by nature.”
“Gotta wonder if that’s true. After all, I’m here.”
“I’m desperate,” David deadpanned.
Adrian cracked a smile. “Maybe you are, but I don’t think that’s it, either.”
It wasn’t. “I fucking miss you guys, all right?” David took a swig of beer to loosen the sudden knot in his throat. “First time in my life I felt like I belonged somewhere, then I had to go fuck it up, and now I have no idea how to fix it.”
Adrian ate a little before replying. Those moments of silence were excruciating. “It’s hard to walk into Twisted Wishes and get caught up in the community Ray built. It’s doubly hard to get sucked right into the heart of the group so fast.”
“You did, though.”
“Not really. I was utterly taken with Dominic before I knew he was Domino Grinder. He and I had—and have—this relationship that’s outside of the band.” Adrian huffed. “Here we are talking about my love life after all.”
This time, it was David who laughed. “It’s—I wish I understood the relationships in Twisted Wishes. Maybe if I did I would understand—” He fidgeted with his beer bottle. “Understand what happened between Mish and me.”
“I think you know all you need to know to understand you and Mish.” Adrian set down his chopsticks. “Do you love her?”
Yes. At least he thought so. “I’m not sure I know what love is. I think about her all the damn time. I regret every word I said when I told her we couldn’t be together, and I feel like a goddamned fool. Is that love?” He paused. “I feel like I walked out on my best friend.”
“Sounds like love to me. Zavier would call it an intimate friendship. I’m not sure it really matters in the end. Do you want to be with Mish?”
“More than anything. But she isn’t going to be taking me back. Even if she did, what the hell would I do with my life? I sure as shit couldn’t be security for you all, not when my eyes are glued to the stage.” He contemplated his rice dish. “You gotta know what I mean there.”
“Oh yeah. That’s a perk of my job. I get to ogle my own fiancé while posting about the rest of the band.”
“With security, it’s everyone else I should be watching. That’s how I screwed up.”
“You didn’t screw up.” Adrian held up a hand when David started to protest. “Honestly, the job bit is the least of your worries.”
Once more, Adrian had homed straight in on the issue. David gave up on trying to eat his dinner. His nerves were too frayed. “I fucked up beyond belief with Mish.”
Adrian nodded solemnly. “Yup. You did.”
“Gee, thanks, buddy.”
