Page 121 of Syncopation
God, he really did wish he were next to Ray, who was undoubtedly a nice shade of embarrassed-as-all-fuck, and Zavier could so play with that. But who knew how many miles and hours of driving separated them? “There are all kinds of love, yes. But I have a very difficult time with the wordlovebecause it’s been soaked by society with so many things I don’t understand or feel.”
“I know. I—”
“Shush. Please.” Silence on the other end. Good. “I drove out here to wherever the hell I am because I needed time in my head. I’ve had that, I’ve figured my shit out, and I’m coming back. But it’s too fucking much right now to explain over the phone.” His voice cracked a little, which he hated.
“Okay.” Ray was breathless.
“You know I care, Ray. We’re incredibly tangledup in each other’s lives, and I don’t want that to end.”
Ray gave a little bark of a laugh. “Can I say something now?”
Maybe there was a touch of heat rising to Zavier’s cheeks at the Ray’s rueful voice. “Sure.”
“I’m not worried. You said to call when I was ready. Well, I’m ready.”
He had scrawled that onto his note. “What are you ready for?”
“You. Us. The band. Whatever thefuture holds.” There was a pause and more rustling—Ray was either getting up or sitting down. “I talked to a lawyer today.”
Oh. That was good. Calm settled into Zavier’s bones. Ray was fine. He’d come through and out the other side of this crisis and taken charge. While he so enjoyed taking care of Ray, there were limits—both for Ray’s good and for Zavier’s. Twisted Wishes wasRay’sband.What Carl did, he’d done toRay. The person to solve all of that couldn’t be Zavier.
He ran a hand through his hair. “Do you have a plan?”
“Yeah. Or at least I know what I want and we’ve talked about what’s most likely and what to aim for.” There was a thump, and Zavier was pretty sure Ray was pacing. “I gave my statement to the police, too. Now it’s just a matter of waiting for wheelsto turn and legal people to talk to each other. But we do have them over a barrel, in many ways.”
Well, yes. Carl’s malicious actions had threatened Ray’s life. “Sounds like you have everything in hand.”
A chuckle. “Or at least have found other capable hands to put the problem into.” There was a pause. “Zav, I need you, though. I can do this shit, sure. But having you here—just here inthe room—would make all of this so much easier.”
“Moral support.”
“More than moral support. You believe in me. You have since you walked into that audition, even when I was being a little shit to you.”
Zavier rolled onto his side. “Yeah, I do, and I did even back then.” He studied the wrinkles in the sheets. “I wish I were there, Ray, because I’d lay you out on that big hotel bed andshow youexactlyhow proud I am of you. How much I believe in you.” Wouldn’t that be a treat? He stroked his hardening length.
There was a groan on the other end of the line. “Shit. How am I supposed to go to bed now?”
“Well, there are a bunch of toys in my bag.”
A laugh. “Is this gonna turn into a phone sex thing? You telling me what to do to get myself off?”
“No.” He kept hisvoice soft. “I’m really tired. I only slept a couple hours at a truck stop last night.” He’d driven until hunger and exhaustion had taken him off the road. A few hours later, his brain—and a couple of eighteen-wheelers lumbering past—had put him back on the road. “And the sooner I wake up tomorrow, the sooner I can come home.”
There was a catch in Ray’s breathing. “That’s twice you’ve saidhome.”
“Yes. You’re home, Ray. Wherever you are.”
Another hitch in Ray’s breathing. “I—feel similar.”
Zavier heard the other words, the ones Ray was tryingso hardnot to say for Zavier’s benefit. It was endearing and a kindness. “You know what I want to fall asleep to?”
“What?”
“The thought of you pulling that dildo out of my bag and banging yourself with it until you comewith my name on your lips.”
“Oh fuck.” That came out as a moan.
Zavier chuckled and ran his thumb over the head of his dick. “Can you do that for me?”
