Page 108 of Syncopation
“My daughter really likes youguys,” the nurse murmured. He was a thin black man with a hard-to-place accent. “You’re a bit too punk for my tastes, but I’m glad you care for each other.” He slowed as they neared one room. “He’s in here.”
Zavier stopped at the threshold and sucked in a breath. Beyond the wooden door lay Ray, in a hospital bed, unconscious, pale, and in a hospital gown. There was an IV drip and wires runningfrom underneath the sheets. One of those pulse monitors had been clipped to his finger.
Mish and Dom sat nearby, both looking as exhausted as Zavier felt.
“Hey, hon.” Mish rose from a nearby chair, still in her black dress, strangely somber and out of place against white linoleum and the green bed curtains. She pulled him into a hug.
The bubble of pain rose closer to the surface, andhe pushed it back down. Hedidn’tcry. Hecouldn’t. Not now. But he did sag into her embrace and press his forehead into her shoulder.
“He’s gonna be okay,” Mish crooned into his hair.
He drew back and took in Ray and the equipment connected to him. Many of the numbers on the machines meant nothing to Zavier, but his pulse seemed good. Blood pressure, too.
Alive. Ray was alive. “I’mso, so...” Happy? That wasn’t the right word at all. “Glad.” Grateful. Relieved. “I wish I could have done more.” Donesomething.
Dom rose slowly from his seat, still decked out as Domino, makeup and all. Garish in the dim light and surrounded by the sterile environment of the hospital. “You kept your cool. Made me go with him.”
“Was the right thing to do.” The jealous part of Zavier thoughtit should have beenhimby Ray’s side. But Dom had the legal means where Zavier didn’t. That Zavierwantedthat level of connection to Ray, that responsibility, meant something, too.
He shook his head and pushed the churn of questions in his soul back down. “You’re his friend, too.”
Dom nodded. “Still.”
Yeah. Still. But Zavier was here now. Ray’s chest rose and fell. The monitor showedhis heartbeats. Zavier crossed the small distance to the bed and laid two fingers on Ray’s hand, the one that didn’t have the IV catheter in it.
And yes, he was warm. So warm.
He didn’t realize he was trembling until Mish steered him to the seat she’d vacated and pushed him down into it. “You’re gonna fall over. Where would you be then?”
He shrugged. “You and Dom do fine on your own.”
“Bullshit,” Dom said. “And you know it.”
Mish tousled Zavier’s hair, which he generally hated with a passion, but from her it felt fine. “You’re starting to sound like Ray when you say things like that.”
He did sound like Ray at the moment. He stared at his unconscious form. “What did the doctors have to say?”
Dom spoke. “What we thought—a severe allergic reaction. They got himunder control, though. The EpiPen was a good idea.” He sounded bone-tired, and far closer to being Dominic than Domino, despite his state of dress. “They’re running blood tests to figure out what was in his system, but he should be back to normal in a few days.”
Zavier propped his elbows on his knees and dropped his head into his hands. Ray would befine. If only his mind would catch up. Inhis mind, Ray collapsed into his arms. Over and over again. Carl’s sneer.
Fuck. Rage was a volcano inside him. He hissed out a breath and sat up. “That fucking assholeCarldrugged him.”
“What?” Both Mish and Dom spoke, both twitched away, as if Zavier had struck them.
“It was on the security video. He dropped something in Ray’s drink, probably trying to start an incident for the rumormill, only it nearlykilledRay.”
Nearly. How much of a misstep would it have taken for Ray to have died? He didn’t want to think about it. Couldn’t help running each scenario through his head.
Mish’s hand was in Zavier’s hair again, and she drew his head against her side. “Honey, it’s okay. He’s alive. He’s here.”
That was what he saw, yes. Ray alive in the hospital. All the machinesread the right things. No alarms. But in his mind, Ray was falling again. And again. Zavier could only catch him and watch, helpless and ineffective, while everyone around him did what he so wanted to do—take care of Ray. The tears he hated, that he fought against, slipped down his cheeks.
Mish pulled a chair over next to Zavier’s and took his hand. “It’s gonna be okay.”
“I know.” He did.But he wasn’t so foolish to think that this night hadn’t changed anything. Everything inside Zavier had been flipped sideways and nearly crushed into bits.
He never wanted to lose Ray. Never wanted to come close to losing Ray again.
