Page 60 of Outside the Lines
“Yeah, I know. I thought you did, and it’s my fault for not checking to make sure. We could have avoided all of this if I had.” He waved his hand around, then dropped it back on his thigh with a slap.
I stared at him.
“I’m guessing that you think polyamory is all about sex, right? Fuck a bunch of people with permission and have guilt-free flings. Yes?”
I hadn’t thought about it. “I suppose so? I mean you said you were swingers. All the poly guys I dated were into it for the sex, so . . . yeah.”
He nodded. “Well, to be honest, itcanbe that. But it doesn’t have to be. It’s not what I enjoy, because flings exhaust me. I need the emotional connection beyond the sex.”
I studied him as his words sank into my brain. A wash of calm flowed over me. “Si, what is it thatyou’retrying to tellme?”
“That I absolutely can love you like I love Lydia. I want that. I’m not in it only for the sex, Ian. I want a relationship. With you.”
All those words scuttled around my head. I took them in and tried to pry them apart. “You . . . have that already. With Lydia.” I couldn’t be a part of that, could I?
“Yes, I know.” The smile I so loved surfaced for a moment, but seriousness stole it away. “I want that with you, too.”
“But—you’ve been married ten years!” So much history there. I could never hope to match it. “You know her so much better, and—” I shrugged helplessly.
Simon crossed his arms again, but it didn’t seem standoffish, since he was lounging against the washing machine. “Love’s not a competition, Ian. I’ve known Lydia longer, yeah. Doesn’t mean I can’t love you. With a little time and a hell of a lot of communication, we can make things work.”
The calm I’d found vanished into a buzzing in my veins and heart. He meant every word. He loved me. Wanted what I wanted—had wanted that all along. I had so many questions, though. “How does it all work? Between you and me and Lydia and . . . all that.” This wasn’t just us. It had never been just us, but emotionally a relationship was far different than a fling.
“Well, after our last time together, Ihadbeen planning to invite you over to figure that all out. Or at least start the conversation to see if you’d be interested in something serious.”
But I’d up and vanished on him. I shoved a hand through my hair. “Is it too late to say I’m sorry and I shouldn’t have disappeared like that?”
A chuckle. “No.” He pushed himself off the washer and beckoned with his index finger. “Come here.”
As commands went, it was mild. Still, warmth tingled through me, and I was moving before I’d thought about it. When we met, he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close.
God, I’d missed him. His heat, his scent. The beating of his heart. I pressed my face into his shoulder, and he stroked my back. I didn’t realize I was crying until he murmured, “It’s okay.”
I laughed, then hiccupped and pulled back enough to wipe my eyes. “I have no idea what you see in me.”
“You’re charming, insufferable, talented, witty, and fucking incredible in bed.” He caressed the back of my neck. “You’re a certified geek and you like comics. You’re not going to hate me for getting lost in painting. Plus, Lydia thinks you’re adorable.” He paused. “I could keep going, you know.”
I was already flushed with embarrassment. “Maybe later.”
A huff at that. He cupped the side of my face and kissed me. His lips were warm and sweet, and he coaxed mine open with his tongue. I’d been the aggressor before, and he didn’t kiss like I did, but he possessed me nonetheless—my soul, my heart. I was terrified and elated and I had no idea what was going to happen.
Only that Simon wanted me like I wanted him. We could figure the rest of the complicated picture out. I melted against him and let him kiss me into oblivion.
Eventually, he pulled back. “We ought to go upstairs.”
Lydia had been cooking. No idea how long we’d been talking, but it had to have been long enough to overcook about everything. I winced. “I bet I ruined the meal.”
He caressed my jaw with his thumb. “Doubt it.” He nudged me toward the stairs.
I turned and caught a glimpse of the dragon. “What are you going to do now?” I nodded toward it.
“Wait and see.” Amusement graced his voice. I’d missed that so much. “Sometimes black is a fantastic base to build up the most brilliant work.”
Hope bloomed inside me and something far warmer and deeper too. The love I’d felt before—tempered this time with caution and understanding.
Lydia waited upstairs. The final piece of this strange puzzle we were building.
When Ian and I emerged from the basement, Lydia’s whole body softened and a smile lit her face. “Better?”
