Page 70 of Outside the Lines
We settled into silence, his body warm against mine, snuggled together. I wasn’t sure which of us was holding the other. Tension leaked out of Simon. Seemed the wear and tear of the past couple of days had his eyes flickering closed too.
He was exhausted. Made sense. He didn’t get a break like I did since he lived and worked with Lydia—and next to Howling Moon. “Wanna watch some TV?”
He nuzzled my neck. Affection, but no heat. “Sure. I’m afraid I’m not up for anything else.”
Neither was I. Still worried, still had a rock in my stomach for Lydia and this fucked-up situation. I found the remote and clicked their television on. I flipped through the schedule and found something innocuous: a documentary on the Australian Outback.
About five minutes into watching it, Simon fell asleep. I let him. Maybe when he woke, his anger and need to fix the situation rightnowwould be tempered. Lydia had to find her own path and be comfortable with whatever the endgame was.
I understood that. I’d needed to know there could be an endgame with Simon. Sitting in the Derrys’ living room, with Si asleep on me and the television showing beautiful countryside to the sound of lovely accents and music—well, here it was. I could havethis.
Now we had to figure out how to give Lydia everything she wanted and needed.
I woke to Ian stroking my hair. I was lying with my head in his lap on the couch. “Oh fuck. How long have I been out?” I wasn’t any good at napping—I woke up, was groggy, and couldn’t sleep for the rest of the night.
“Maybe twenty minutes?” He caressed my shoulder. “Not long.”
I should’ve sat up, but I didn’t want to move from Ian. If I rose, the world would be there, lurking outside Ian’s embrace. Lydia distraught. Her work stolen. Everything I didn’t want to think about because I couldn’tfixit.
It was a miracle Ian was here, on my couch, and in my life. I was so damn grateful to Lydia for dragging his ass to dinner after he’d run, and humbled that he was here now, when our life was rough and rocky. In a way, he was right—he had signed up to be in a poly relationship, which meant meeting everyone’s needs. None of us had expected this crisis, but Ian had done exactly the perfect thing and balanced us all out. “Do you want to stay?”
His fingers traced over my face. “Is this a tonight question, or a long-term question?” The amusement in his voice warmed my heart.
“Tonight,” I whispered.
He shifted beneath me and brushed my jaw with his thumb. Deep brown eyes gazed down. “I want to stay. Tonight. Longer.” He pressed a finger against my lips. “But . . . I think you should spend the night with Lydia. She needs you.”
She needed both of us. When I’d talked to her upstairs, one of her biggest fears had been that her inability to cope would drive Ian away. I didn’t believe that was true at all, but his going home tonight would only fan that fear higher. “She doesn’t want you to leave.” I spoke against his finger.
His brows creased, not in consternation, but thought. “I suspect neither of us is up for sex.”
I gave a hollow laugh. “I’m sure my dick would be into it, but not my mind.”
“I’m far more interested in your mind.” Ian hadn’t removed his finger. “Especially for what I want to do.”
I felt the hint of a shiver, the seed of desire. Yeah, I liked Ian’s games and he liked mine. Now was not the time at all. “I love you.”
A smile and he leaned down for a quick kiss. “Ditto.” When he sat back, he pointed the remote at the TV and turned it off. “Be with Lydia tonight.”
“Ian . . .”
“I’ll stay. I’ve got a change of clothes in the guest room. We can all have breakfast together in the morning.”
Oh. That might work. Goodness knows I wanted to comfort my wife, but I didn’t want to do it at the expense of losing my boyfriend. And Lydia feared Ian’s loss just as much. “How is it that you’ve taken to this so easily?”
His huff of laughter loosened a tightness in my chest. “I don’t know. I’m doing what seems natural and right.” That cocky smile returned. “I’m sure there’s gonna be a day when you two have to deal with me falling apart.”
Probably. That’s how relationships worked. That’s how love worked.
“True.” We both rose and headed upstairs and Ian came with me to the master bedroom. Lydia was tucked under the covers, reading, her eyes still rimmed with red and a tissue nearby. I sat down at her side.
“I’m trying to distract myself.” She waved at her Kindle. “You two heading to bed?”
“Kind of.” I explained Ian’s suggestion.
Lydia peered past me to where he stood, leaning against the doorframe. “You don’t mind?”
“Not at all. It’s the three of us, right? That’s what we decided the other day.”
