Page 88 of Just Business
A tremble. “You... bought me things. Fed me. Clothed me. Offered me a place to stay when I was in trouble.”
The bottom dropped from Eli’s stomach. This was... not his fault. But not good.
“The only thing I had to give you in return was my body. To fuck. To play with. To—” Justin’s voice cracked. “Use.”
That word punched a hole into Eli’s heart and his calm shattered. He sucked in a breath and looked up at the ceiling, tears returning.Oh damn.
Justin had been paying him back with sex and pain. Didn’t mater that Eli’s gifts had come with no strings as far as Eli was concerned. Eli gazed around his living room, suddenly seeing it as Justin might—elegant. Full of expensive things. He wore a Rolex. Dressed in fine suits.
Justin struggled to make ends meet. Shitty apartment. Drowning in debt to support his family.
Eli let out the breath. He’d offered what he had out of love and respect and caring, and hadn’t expected anything at all in return.
Justin stirred. “I—I felt trapped. So I ran.”
Of course he had. All the conversations, all that had happened clicked into place. Every limb went numb. He should have seen this. Hadn’t because he hated acknowledging the wealth. Noah’s money.Time to grow up, Eli.
“You let me go.” Justin pulled away again and sat up. He wiped his eyes. “Let me walk out. Didn’t force me back.”
“I don’t own you, Justin.” Such thick words. He’d thought he’d been emptied of pain. He’d been so very wrong. His heart twisted and knotted into new and agonizing shapes. “I never meant to trap you. I thought you liked—” The bondage. The sex. The pain.
“I do. I did. There wasn’t anything you ever did to me that I didn’t like.”
But Justin had walked out. Felt unsafe and left. “The problem is me. Who I am.” The wealth. The status. Things he couldn’t change.
“You’re not who I thought you were. To you, I’m not... a toy. Not a plaything.”
“No. Never that.” Flesh and blood. Messy, lovely, tempting, but a person. Never, ever athing. That idea tore his soul out.
“You’d let me go again, after tonight. When the snow clears. Anytime. Every time. Again and again.” Justin hugged himself, shaking. “Wouldn’t you?”
“Yes. Always.”
“Why?”
“Because I love you.”
All air seemed to leave Justin. “You—” He shook his head, eyes too wide. “You shouldn’t—”
Wasn’t a matter of should or not, it just was. “I love you, Justin. Have loved. Will love.” Eli shifted and sat up as well. “I only want your happiness, to see you healthy and safe. If not with me, then... not with me. How could I love you and trap you?”
Those wet, bright eyes, the shock parting those lips.
“I don’t need half of this.” Eli waved his hand to encompass the house. “And I deservenoneof it, but if there’s anything I can do to make your life better—ask. Anything.” He was going to break again. Felt the pressure in his head, all the signs of falling into a billion pieces. At least he understood why he’d lost Justin.
“If I asked for your forgiveness?” All tremble, those words.
Ohhell.
He had to hold it together. For Justin. For himself. Eli opened his arms. Justin hesitated only a moment before falling into him.
“There’s nothing to forgive. Nothing.” Agony in his chest. He pressed lips to Justin’s hair and closed his eyes against the pain.
Muffled words. “I made your life hell.”
Yes, he had. But reactions like that didn’t come out of a vacuum. “What was his name?”
A laugh that was half a sob. “Am I so easy to read?”
