Page 129 of Daily Grind
From the kitchen came the glorious sound of the coffee maker finishing with a whoosh and a gurgle.
“Coffee?”
They spoke at the same time. Rob laughed at that, all teeth and dimples and Brian’s heart soared until it cracked open completely and the pain was unbearable. He’d lost this. Might still lose this.
“Oh God, Rob. The things I said. I’m sorry. I’m—” He choked on the rest of it. This time, he couldn’t hold back the tears. They strangled him, blotted his sight, and took his speech. He could only bend over and let go.
Fucking fool. Too wrapped up in himself to see how much Rob cared, how much he wanted to help. He’d been ugly and horrible and torn everything apart rather than face his own fears and problems.
Rob gripped his shoulders. “Hey, hey.” Fingers in his hair. “It’s going to be okay. I’m here. You’re here. That’s more than yesterday.”
He grasped hold of that thought and looked up and there were tears in Rob’s eyes, too.
“God, we’re a bloody mess aren’t we?” Rob stroked a thumb over Brian’s cheek. “Let’s have some coffee. Figure it out.”
He croaked out a laugh. “Always solving problems.”
Another caress. “It’s what I do best.” Rob blinked a few times. “When I can.”
Rob’s problem-solving when it came to the shop grated on every last one of Brian’s nerves—but he appreciated it so much right now. Rob rubbed his shoulder. “I’ll get you a cup.”
He did, rising and returning with two mugs that steamed even in the hot June day. Rob’s had a touch of milk, but he’d brought Brian one that was gloriously black.
With shaking hands, he took a sip. Bold and bright, nutty with a hint of citrus and caramel. He let the coffee slide down his throat and sighed. “Oh, that’s good.”
Rob had a weird little grin.
“What?”
“You. Us. Coffee.” His humor faded. “Are you truly thinking about closing Grounds N’at?”
“Yeah.” It was an option, and one he needed to look at. “I don’t want to.” He wrapped his hands around the mug, despite how hot it was. Better to feel something than nothing—he’d spent too much time being numb. “But I don’t know what to do to fix things anymore. Hiring people isn’t working, at least not fast enough.”
A look of consternation in Rob, then his whole body relaxed into defeat. “I can’t help you.” Pain in those hazel eyes. “You were right about a few things, too. I don’t know the first thing about owning a coffee shop, I only know you’re running yourself into the ground.” He paused. “Or grinding yourself up.”
Brian choked on his coffee. “You didn’t just pun during this conversation. Tell me you didn’t just…”
Rob shrugged and his smile was that wonderful mix of sheepish and devilish that made Brian forget about everything. “I did, yeah.” His expression softened to something more complicated. “It’s either laugh or cry.”
Brian contemplated his coffee before drinking. Laughing was better. “I thought I could manage the stress, that things would improve.” He sipped. “I know you were trying to help, but the articles you read are… simplistic. Yeah, I could cut costs. Problem is, it’s not about the bottom line. Never has been. I want to keep things in the black so I can keep going.” He leaned back against the lounge. “When I created Grounds N’at, I wanted a place withheart. Local and ethical suppliers. Pay a living wage. Make a placeeveryonecould come to and hang out. Like a neighborhood bar, but where all ages were welcome.”
“A safe harbor.”
He nodded. “Except I fucked it up, and now it’s not.” He hadn’t seen Ev, Dan, and Jan in ages.
“Therehasto be a way back to that.”
“God, I hope so.” He wiped at his eyes and looked out into the yard. “You know, this is the first time we’ve really talked about work.” He paused. “Well, my work.”
Rob snorted. “Mine’s boring.”
It was a part of Rob as much as the shop was a part of him. “But who do you vent to? Who do you tell when you have exciting news?”
Rob blinked and sat back. “I don’t.” A quiet laugh. “I see what you’re getting at.” He took a swallow of coffee. “You’d think by our age we’d have all this shit figured out, eh? Relationships. Talking.”
“God, the older I get, the less I know about everything.”
Rob snorted. “Truth is that none of my other partners wanted to know about my work, not unless it involved how much cash was in it for them.” Rob’s brow furrowed. “You’ve never cared about the money.”
