Page 28 of Due Dilligence (Takeover)
The waitress came and Todd ordered for both of them. Fazil still couldn’t get his mouth to work right. The only memories there were the times he’d cheated on Todd in retribution for infidelity that had apparently never happened. “I...” Words were meaningless.I’m sorryhad no weight, no reality. It couldn’t change the time that had passed, nor any of the actions he’d taken. “But you hung out with them! I saw you!” The guys. The girls. Everyone who turned Todd’s eyes, everyone who would have been better than the awkward Fazil, with his weird name, odd food, and way too geeky interests. “You’d go out with them. Drive them home. Do more, from what I heard.”
Todd tilted his head. “Oh, Z.” Sorrow lay there, but the anger was gone, and that was something amazing, because forgiveness was also out of the realm of possibility.
Todd reached across and touched one of the hands Fazil had wrapped around his ice water. “Come on, you’ll freeze your fingers off.”
He let Todd pry one of his hands free, let him hold it to warm it up. Eventually Fazil let go of the glass entirely. “It’s not cold enough to do that.”
“Mmm-hmm.” Todd’s smile was small and sad. “Just go with it, Z.”
Todd was holding his hand. Why, he wasn’t sure.
A gentle squeeze. “Yeah, I hung out with other people. Especially when you got snappish and weird. Most of the time youtoldme to go off with them, so I did. Figured you didn’t want me around. And yeah, if someone asked me to go out with the group, I did. It was better than sitting at home alone. Yes, a couple of the girls flirted with me and sat on my lap, and I kissed a few on the cheek—as afriend.”
That did match up with Fazil’s memories. Todd fluctuated between social circles. Guys and some of the girls liked him because he knew cars—really knew them—and Todd had always been stunning to look at. Working at the garage kept him in shape. He’d gotten shit for being a grease monkey, but also appreciative looks. Both had driven Fazil crazy, but the later made him jealous and... small. “I guess I did do that.”
“I never understood why.”
Oh, now, that was easy. “Any one of them would have been a better choice than me.”
Todd looked like Fazil had hit him with a brick made from confusion. “You—what?”
Their meals arrived and Todd let go of his hand. That only served to remind him exactly how far apart they were.
When the server slid a burger and fries in front of Fazil, his stomach rumbled. He hadn’t been hungry—he still felt more than a little queasy—but he could eat. Probably help his shaking hands.
Nothing was going to put his mind back together any time soon. After half the burger, he steeled himself and studied Todd. Those blue eyes watched him in return. Gone was the hurt that had been there, but God only knew why.
Fazil took a sip of his water. “Thank you for ordering. I wasn’t—I couldn’t...” The right words were still out of reach. Everything ached, including his head.
“I know,” Todd said. “But you needed to eat. We both did.”
Fazil poked at his fries. “I was this ugly, scrawny kid with a weird name and parents who talked strangely. I never understood why you liked me.” Or why Todd had kissed him. Sucked him off. Made him come.Anyof it.
Todd’s brow furrowed. “You weren’t ugly. Or scrawny.” He inspected his burger. “And I liked you because you were fun. Clever. You didn’t think I was an idiot, and we liked a lot of the same things. Music. Books.”
They had gotten along well. Shared comics and paperbacks. Played games on the PlayStation. Peas in a pod, Todd’s mother had said. The best of friends. It’s why Todd wanted them to stay together after graduation.
Fazil ate until he couldn’t stuff any more into his gut, then looked up. “I had the roundest moon face. I tripped over my own feet, and there was my name.”
“There’s nothing wrong with your name. And don’t listen to that fuckface Nathan, either.” Todd dunked a fry into some ketchup. “You really never saw yourself back then, did you? So many of the girls wanted you. I saw it, Z. Hot. Smart. Well-off parents. Teachers liked you, so you got away with the shit other kids couldn’t.”
“Hey, so did you.”
Todd’s eyebrows lifted. “I held the record for detentions that year. I was the bad influence, the troublemaker. The kid from the wrong side of the tracks.”
He had lived on the other side of the tracks from Fazil, but many kids had. Fazil rolled his eyes.
“You had a lot less reason to like me than the other way around.” Todd picked up another fry. “You were—and still are—stunning.”
“I’m...” He laughed, but it was a bitter thing. “Apparently I was a grade-A fuckup and a righteous asshole.”
Todd shrugged. “You were seventeen. We both were.”
“It wasn’t just with Debbie.” He’d kept a list of his own exploits, too. Like a damn fool.
“I know,” Todd said. “You were never good at being stealthy or coy.”
Fazil rubbed his forehead and fought the urge to tear up again.God.If he could go back in time. “You never? Not with anyone? What about Susan?”
