Page 119 of Due Dilligence (Takeover)
Chapter Twenty-five
Fazil stared up at his bedroom ceiling and watched shadows and light undulate across the textured plaster as cars passed below on Murray Avenue. Even with his blinds and shades, he’d never been able to get this room completely dark. Most nights, he didn’t mind.
Tonight? He wanted to blot away the entire world.
He doubted total darkness would chase away the conversation that kept replaying in his head.
Over the past week, he’d been ignoring Todd’s hints to talk to Sam. Dropping his own that maybe he wasn’t entirely comfortable with leaving his life in Pittsburgh. Yes, he wanted to be with Todd, was desperate at times for his touch and his voice, but moving in with him completely across the country? Too much, too fast.
They’d been together barely two weeks in person after fifteen years apart.
Fazil rolled toward the windows. He’d run from Todd back then, unable to deal with the future Todd had mapped out for them. This was familiar, the panic in his soul, the lump in his throat.
He loved Todd, but he’d made his lifehere. Why couldn’t Todd see that?
The whole question of moving had come to a head earlier.
“Have you asked Sam yet?”
Todd had gotten in late and Fazil had nodded off waiting for him to come online.
Maybe that’s why he’d been snippy. “No, I haven’t. I’ll let you know when I do.” He’d set his water glass down hard after that.
“God, Z. What’s your problem? How hard is it to ask?”
“My problem?” He pushed back from the table. “There hasn’t been a good time. We’re trying to get this job done for your fucking company and...” He bit back everything else.
“Yeah, I’m busy, too. But, Jesus, you need to make up your mind. I can’t sit here forever like I did last time.”
The knife stabbed deep with those words. It wrenched and hurt as much now, hours later, as it had when he’d stared back at Todd. “I’ll ask him tomorrow.”
“Fazil, I didn’t mean...” Todd’s face had been pale and horrified and nervous.
“I know. We’re both beat—let’s talk again tomorrow, when we’re not so cranky.”
Todd had nodded and they’d signed off and Fazil had spent the better part of the night tossing and turning in bed.
He needed some sleep, or he’d be shit tomorrow. Today. Whatever. He closed his eyes.
And opened them to the faint sounds of traffic, people, and birds.Fuck.
Fazil rubbed his eyes and forced himself out of bed. A shower and shave later, he wasn’t any more awake. Still looked like hell, too, judging from the mirror.
Fazil pushed away from his sink and went to find clothes.
Even if Sam said yes, Fazil wasn’t sure he wanted to go. Every time he thought of moving to Seattle, his stomach sank down to the street below, rolled down the hill, and probably got run over by a dozen cars.
How much of a shit did that make him? You were supposed to do anything for the person you loved, right?
Coffee. He needed coffee. Fazil found his keys and his wallet, and headed down the street to Grounds N’at and work.
Pretty sure he knew Sam’s answer. The pit in his stomach yawned wider. Yes, there were jobs in Seattle, but not like the one he had here. He’d go back to being a ground-down cog in a corporate wheel, and he couldn’t endure another set ofissueslike he had at Singularity.
Fazil clenched his teeth and opened the door to the coffee shop.
Brian stood behind the counter and he had a look of panic when the bell on the door rang. “Hey, Fazil. Gonna be a wait.”
“No problem.” He got in line and squinted around the shop. Crowded today and only Brian working. No wonder he looked frazzled. When he got to the front, Brian nodded at him. “The usual?”
