Page 49 of The Wrong Drive-
“I always wanted to find a girl to wear my chain. No one else ever felt right,” another piece of my past spills from my lips. “Is that stupid?” I look up at her. “I wanted the whole thing—the white picket fence, the wife, and the kids. Can you imagine me, a fucking nutcase, with kids? Guaranteed that they’d end up troubled and fucked in the head.”
She smiles, squeezing my hand. “What a beautiful life you could have had.”
“Yeah, I know,” I laugh. “Isn’t that crazy? I thought I was a hero once, Em. I thought I was Superman, coming to save the day every time I went on a mission. By the time I made it home, I was already turning into a villain—and then I realized I’ve always been the villain in someone else’s story. I couldn’t find peace unless I was causing violence.”
She nods in understanding, and my body relaxes underneath her. It’s like a therapy session, only with a beautiful, compassionate woman sitting on my lap. Never mind the gun to my head. We fall into silence, and I wait, wait for her to say something else. But she doesn’t.
It must be time. She’s heard enough.
I turn my head to Gunner, sitting there, no longer panting with panic or worry. He no longer appears concerned, and for some reason that brings a deeper sense of peace in addition tothe rest. It’sfinallyover. No more nights with pills. No more spilling blood. No more pain.
I turn my head back to Em, who’s got a whole river of tears rolling down her cheeks. “You don’t have to do it, baby,” my voice sounds so gentle, so sweet, reaching a level of empathy I haven’t felt in years.
“Final words,” she demands.
I shake my head. “I’d never give you that burden. Just know thatifI somehow avoid going to hell, I’ll keep an eye on you, Em—and if I get that kind of grace, I’ll see you on the other side.” My hand lands on hers, my index finger sliding over the trigger. “Let me do it. Close your eyes.”
She swallows audibly, Gunner lets out a pained bay, echoing in the emptiness of silence.
And thenshepulls the trigger.
Chapter 22
Emersyn
I know what I did.But he deserved it.
As his eyes flicker open at the gunshot right behind his head, I throw the weapon to the floor, metal skidding against concrete the only sound between us.
His eyes narrow. “You missed.”
“No, I didn’t,” I answer him. “I did exactly what I should have. You’re not dying.” I fist his collar with newfound anger, and then lean down, brushing my nose to his. “You’re getting fuckinghelp.”
“The hell I am,” He growls back at me. “I wantpeace,Emersyn.”
I shake my head, swinging my leg off him and standing to my feet. “Then you’ll have to kill me, Turner, but even then, I’ll fucking haunt you.”
Turner glares at me. “I thought you understood me, butclearlyyou don’t.” He rises, towering over me. “You think that I’ll just magically be fixed, huh?” His hand shoots out, wrapping around my arm and dragging me toward him.
I wrap my hands around his, trying to pry his fingers from around me. “Idon’tthink that. I just want you to stay?—”
“You’re fuckingselfish,” he roars at me, dropping his hand. Turner spins around and in one swift kick sends the chair flying across the barn as I stumble and fall hard onto the concrete. I swallow the pain shooting up my spine as I watch him sweep up the pistol from the floor, pointing it at me.
“Go ahead,” I snap at him as he stalks toward me. “Kill me, andthenyou can reevaluate who’s the fucking selfish one in the room, but you know,” I pause, ignoring the fear thrumming through my body. “Your brother didn’t want you to die. He didn’t turn you in, because hebelievedyou could get better.”
“Yeah, jokes on him,” he scoffs. “I’m too far gone.”
Defeat riddles my chest, and my shoulders drop. “Nothing I can say is going to change your mind, so go ahead.” I gaze down at my hands, trembling as I wrap them around me, mentally readying myself for my end. “Just make sure you find a way to let my fucking family know. I have people who will miss me.”
Turner says nothing in response, looming over me like the Grim Reaper, the gun still hovering near my head. I squeeze my eyes shut. Unlike me, I know Turner will make good on his threat. I never could’ve killed him. I don’t kill the people I love. And while the realization of having feelings for him is shocking, it’s not nearly as shocking as the way I’mokaywith those feelings.
“It was always going to end like this,” I say under my breath, thinking back through it all.
“What?” Turner demands, his voice thick. “What did you say?”
I tip my head back, meeting his red-eyed gaze with my own equally heartbroken one. “It was always going to end like this. You said it from the very beginning. There was never going to be an alternate ending like I let myself believe. Even till the very end, when I knew it all, I believed you could change, and I thinkthat’s the biggest mistake I made here.” My chest tightens with pain, and I choke back a fresh sob.
Turner drops to his knees in front of me, resting against his heels. He ejects the magazine and then the bullet from the chamber. “Better?” He tosses it across the floor again. “I don’t have it in me, Em. I can’t kill you when I’m stillhere.I’d only ever hurt you if… If I’mnot—and that’s what scares me.”
