Page 36 of The Wrong Drive-
October 5, 2011
Turner said their mission was supposed to last a few weeks. It’s been a month. Still trying not to worry.
October 15, 2011
Finally heard from Turner. Taylor was killed. No details. I can’t believe it. Turner will be home in a few days.
October 18, 2011
I picked up Turner today. Something isn’t right. He’s not himself. He’s torn up over Taylor. They were in combat, providing rescue aid. He said, ‘they got into bad shit.’ That’s allI know. Turner doesn’t appear to care. I’m worried about him, but I know he’s grieving.
October 20, 2011
Turner, Pops, and I went out to the range today. It didn’t go well. Turner seemed to have some kind of flashback. Pops talked him out of it. He goes back in a couple of weeks. I hope he gets some help.
October 25, 2011
Taylor’s services were today. Turner handled it better than I expected. I miss my brother, but I’m thankful Turner made it back.
October 27, 2011
I can’t believe I’m writing this. Mom and Pops are gone. This might be the worst day of my life. Turner is so sick. He needs help. He was at the store and had another flashback. He barricaded himself in the bathroom. Mom and Pops were on their way to help him when a fucking box truck ran a red light. I couldn’t be in two places at once. I left the Marines to retrieve Turner. They said he’ll get the help he needs. I am glad I got to say goodbye to Mom and Pops at the hospital. They said not to be mad at Turner. I’m not. I swear I’m not. But fuck, I’m trying so hard not to hate him.
I pause from reading, my stomach sick and heart breaking. I use my sleeve to dab away the tears as I continue. The mentions of Turner fade for next year, only stating that he’s getting help and staying in the service. The two aren’t talking at that point. It’s not until late 2012 they start again.
December 14, 2012
Turner was awarded the medal of honor tonight. Proud of him. But he didn’t look good. I should talk to him more.
December 20, 2012
I had to pick up Turner today. He is being discharged. He is still sick. I don’t think they fixed him. He brutally attacked hiscommanding officer. Somehow, they’ve managed not to press charges. I don’t understand, but I got him and brought him to the cabin. We’re all we have. I feel guilty. I wasn’t there for him. I’ll be there for him now. I swear.
January 18, 2013
He doesn’t sleep. He paces. He shouts. He’s messed up in the head. I’m too tired to even write about him. I’m doing everything I can. I swear. I’m taking him to all the specialists. I don’t know what else to do.
March 15, 2013
I’m running out of options. Turner seems to just go dead, and he starts playing war. He flies off the handle and goes for whatever is closest. Then he cries. For days. God something is so wrong, but I don’t know what to do. Why aren’t these doctor’s helping him? I’ve made a call to someone out of state, hoping someone will help me help him.
June 29, 2013
He’s getting better, I think. No outbursts since he started therapy sessions with this new doctor. He tells me he still struggles. He says he can’t help it. Everything goes dark in his head. I don’t understand that, but I hope in time, he can work out of it. I got him a PTSD dog today. Turner named him Gunner.
July 5, 2013
He made it through the fireworks. I’m so proud of him. We’re really getting somewhere.
October 12, 2013
Two years without Taylor. Turner had a bad day today, but he’s okay. He has Gunner.
October 30, 2013
Things feel like they’re on the right track. He’s doing great. I think we’re going to a Halloween party tomorrow. It’ll be good for him.
November 1, 2013
