Page 173 of Under Your Scars
“You don’t trust her,” I inquire, though less of a question and more of a statement. “Tell me why.”
He takes a deep breath and presses a soft kiss to my temple while he holds me. “If she’s been working for Valenti all this time, why is she only just now coming to tell us? Everyone in this goddamn city knows where we live and work. It’s not like we’re hard to find. The Lounge has been a pile of ashes formonths. If you hadn’t run into her the other day, I doubt she would have come here to say anything. If she really wanted to help, she should have come to us a long time ago.”
I sigh. He’s right. Kate knows what I went through. She knows Christian is the Silencer, and she knows exactly the kind of person Frank is. He’s not going to give up on getting revenge. She should have said something months ago.
“What do you want to do?” Christian asks, and I turn slightly in his arms to look up at him in confusion.
“What do you mean?”
“Do you want me to trust Kate and go look for him, guns raised, or do you want me to do some recon on this safehouse first?”
I think about it for a long time.
Kate is my friend.Would she lie to me for Frank?
She’s always been honest with me about what a monster he is. I don’t see why she would lie now, even if she is still working for him. I know firsthand that escaping his clutches isn’t easy.
I turn completely in Christian’s arms and run my hands down his torso, pressing roughly into the healing wound in his stomach. He winces and shifts away from my touch.
“Obviously it’s going to hurt if you’re shoving your fingers in it!”
“I can’t risk losing you again,” I whisper.
“I’ll wear my suit. It will protect me. It always has. Do you know how many times I got shot when I killed Valenti’s friends for touching you?”
“You hadn’t been bedridden for weeks.” I close my eyes and rest my forehead against his chest. “I want Valenti dead, but I want you alive more.”
“Those things are not mutually exclusive, Elena.”
“It’s too risky.”
He huffs. “You expect me to just sit here and,” he shrugs his shoulders and twists his face in a disgusted expression, “let himexistin this city after what he did to you? Tell me that’s not what you want.”
I scoff humorlessly. “What I want is for you to remember that you have a family now. If revenge means you’re risking Caroline growing up without you, then no, I don’t want revenge.”
“One bullet. That’s all it will take for it to be over.”
He cradles my face in his hands, gently and comforting like he always has, but for some reason, I find it hard to look him in the eye.
“Let me ask you something,” I prompt, pausing to take in a heavy breath and find the courage to meet his gaze. “Do you want revenge because of what Frank did tome? Or do you want revenge becauseyouwant to kill him?”
“What’s the difference?”
“One is for me, the other is for you.”
Christian is quiet for a long moment as he reflects on that. His eyes never leave mine as he does.
I know when he’s found his answer, because his hands drop from my cheeks, and now, he’s the one that can’t find the strength to look at me.
“Mommy!” Caroline squeals as she meets us in the foyer. Christian doesn’t make an effort to say hi or even look at anyone, making a hasty exit up the stairs.
I know where he’s going, and I don’t try to stop him.
If he stays here or if he goes out to try and find Frank, I won’t know. The latter wouldn’t surprise me, but I don’t intend on asking.
Christian is stubborn, but I’d honestly be more surprised if hedidn’tgo looking for Frank. He won’t rest until he’s dead, especially now that it’s confirmed he’s still lurking in the city.
My mother notices Christian’s sour mood instantly, watching as he disappears upstairs. I suppose she can relate to having a stubborn, moody spouse.
