Page 28 of Closer Than You Think
“I asked you to look into the hard drive, not gossip about me.” I say, but without much anger.
“I’m sorry, Si. But she’s involved somehow and you’ve been preoccupied with her.”
They're circling the truth, the dangerous obsession I've kept locked down tight. I square my shoulders, letting my authoritative tone fill the room. “Hallie's not your concern.”
“Like hell she isn't.” Alan's blue eyes are hard as ice. “If she's tied to the Syndicate?—”
“She's not.” My denial is swift, visceral, even though I’ve no evidence to back it. “She's a civilian. Whatever they want with her, it’s not her fucking fault.”
Cain's brow furrows slightly. “But you've been tailing her for weeks. There's got to be something you're not saying.”
“Her safety is paramount,” I assert, and I can hear the edge of something more personal that I didn't intend to reveal.
Jet stops fidgeting, his gaze settling on me. “Boss, if you’re compromised, we need to know. We can't afford mistakes, not with what's at stake.”
“Compromised?” The word feels like an accusation, one I'm not prepared to accept. “Never.”
“Then explain.” Alan’s demand slices through the space between us.
“Explain why every path you take leads back to her?” Cain adds, his voice calm but insistent.
“Explain why you’ve moved in next door to her,” Jet chimes in, his casual demeanor gone.
“Enough!” I bark out, feeling cornered. So they’ve been watching me while I’ve been watching her. “Hallie is . . . she’s a complication, but not a liability.”
A complication I can't seem to shake off, nor do I want to. But admitting that would unravel me in front of them, and I cannot afford to come undone.
“Are you sure, Silas?” Alan pushes, unrelenting.
“Sure as death,” I retort, the lie tasting bitter on my tongue.
Their stares weigh heavily on me, each filled with their own blend of skepticism and concern. Blake's silence is the most unnerving—he's watching, calculating, waiting for the right moment to strike or support. He's a wildcard, always has been.
“Let's focus on the mission,” I say, shifting the subject away from the precipice. “We have a Senator to eliminate.”
“Right, the mission,” Jet nods, though his eyes don't quite meet mine.
“Always the mission,” Cain echoes, but there's a note in his voice that suggests he's far from convinced.
The tension in the room is as thick as the steel walls that shield us from the outside world. Alan's eyes, usually as calm as a frozen lake, now flicker with the flames of doubt.
“Silas,” he begins, his voice steady yet loaded with an undercurrent of concern, “you know I'd follow you to hell and back, but this fixation on Hallie—it's clouding your judgment. We're talking about the Senator here, not some low-level mark.”
I stand rigid, my scars itching beneath my fitted shirt, a reminder of battles fought and won. The cold air of the room contrasts sharply with the heat rising within me.
“Alan, you think I don't know what's at stake?” I fire back, my words deliberate, betraying none of the turmoil that's churning inside me. “My judgment is clear. It has to be.”
Cain watches silently for a moment before speaking up, his tone even but firm, echoing off the concrete and glass that encase us in our high-rise fortress.
“Maybe there's more to it than just an obsession,” Cain interjects, his piercing gaze holding mine. “Feelings aren't always a weakness; sometimes they give us strength where we least expect it.”
“Feelings?” Alan's voice cuts through the air, sharp and disbelieving. “We can't afford feelings. Not in our line of work.”
I clench my fists at my sides, feeling the weight of their scrutiny. I'm walking a razor's edge between the duty I owe to these men, the mission, and the pull of something far more primal—my hunger for Hallie.
“Look,” I say, forcing my voice to remain level, “Hallie is not part of this world. I can’t believe I’m admitting this to you fuckers, but yes I have feelings for her.” That was a big admission, but I refuse to explain just how deep those feelings are or how insane she drives me. “But the reason I’ve been so preoccupied with her is because Drago had recon shots of her all over his computer. Something fucked is going on and I want to know why.”
They’re quiet, and judging by their wide eyes, surprised by my candid confession. I’ve never spoken about a woman before, let alone my feelings.
