Page 220 of Dawn of Chaos and Fury
“Because that was the obvious place, Tessa,” he said quietly. “It was the first place Achaz would go when he learned of your existence.”
“So she abandoned me instead?” she demanded, trying to swallow down the tears that were threatening to pool in her eyes.
“That wasn’t the intention, Tessa. I was supposed to be with you. Raise you with Luka. Make him your Guardian. Don’t punish them for my failures.”
She couldn’t believe what she was hearing.
“Don’t give me excuses for them,” she cried. “They could have fought for me. They could have tried. They could have done anything. Instead, she chose to send me to a realm where Temural couldn’t even come for me. She cut me off from everyone who was supposed to care.”
“Just because they’re gods and Furies doesn’t mean they’re perfect. Just because mistakes were made doesn’t mean they weren’t doing what they thought was best,” he said gently.
“Everyone is always thinking they know what’s best for me,” she sneered. “Maybe it’s just more pretty words. Maybe I was never wanted from the beginning.”
Xan moved then, suddenly in front of her. He gripped her shoulders, bending down to peer into her face. “We make mistakes, Tessa. Even when trying to do what we think is best at the time. Look at your last months. And I don’t say that to shame you, only to prove a point. You have hundreds of years ahead of you. If you think you won’t make more mistakes, you are in for a rude awakening.”
A lone tear broke free, sliding down her cheek.
“I am not saying your feelings are not valid, but I am saying this may be one of those things you will not understand until you have a child of your own. Until you are so desperate to keep that innocent soul safe from the monsters of the stars that you sacrifice a piece of your own heart in an attempt to do just that,” Xan said. “Only to one day learn that sacrifice was a mistake you will pay for dearly the rest of your years.”
“Do not project your relationship with Razik onto me and my lack of relationship with Temural and Akira, Xan Mors. We are not the same,” Tessa whispered harshly, swiping at the tear.
Xan straightened, taking a step back. A tense silence hung between them before Xan finally said, “It is your call. I will help you bring Akira here, but only if that is what you wish.”
“It doesn’t appear I have any other option.”
“Indeed,” Xan said, carefully sliding a finger beneath the collar at his throat to adjust it.
She turned away from him, walking to the kitchen where the others were gathered around the island. Everyone turned to her when she entered, Xan a few paces behind her, and she made her way to Theon and Luka. Theon immediately pulled her into his side, while Luka eyed his father from where he was leaning on his forearms.
“We need the rings,” Xan announced. “Tessa’s decision. Not mine.”
Luka turned his head to her in question, and she nodded mutely, tracing a nonexistent pattern on the countertop.
“We’ll have to ask Dagian to get it,” Theon said. “He’s really our only option at this point. Tessa won’t get close. Brecken is…gone. Tristyn’s cover is blown. He’s our only option.”
“There will be a cost involved,” Eliza warned. “There always is with something like this.”
“He’s already risking everything to offer me his power,” Theon replied. “He agreed to help however he could. This is the easiest and quickest path to that ring.”
“It is the most logical,” Razik agreed.
“I’m not saying it’s not logical,” Eliza said. “I’m saying they need to be prepared.”
“We are all—” Theon cut off as Luka straightened suddenly. “Someone crossed the wards. Someone is here.”
“Two someones,” Luka murmured. “Stay here.”
Tessa rolled her eyes, but she didn’t bother following, staying back with Theon while Razik and Eliza followed Luka to the front door. Theon was tense beside her, and she rested her elbows on the countertop, her chin in her hands.
“How are you doing, wild fury?” Tristyn asked with a small tilt of his lips.
“Did you have a child with Lilura?” she asked, and Tristyn lurched back so suddenly, he knocked a stool over.
“Why would you ask that?”
She shrugged. “You loved her?—”
“Loveher,” he corrected.
