Page 81 of Dawn of Chaos and Fury
“Everything seems to be in order,” Luka replied, moving past Xan to grab a liquor bottle and pour a glass.
“She needs to sleep, Luka.”
Yeah, he knew that too. He didn’t need to be as close to her as he was today to see the lack of it wearing on her. Legacy and Fae rarely became sleep deprived. They didn’t need it like themortals of the realm did. The Fae needed deep sleep to restore powers. Another reason Theon had been over-the-top with her schedule when they’d all thought she was Fae. And while Legacy didn’t need it for those reasons, as he’d told Tessa, they could only go so long before their magic capitalized on it and tried to take control.
Which is why he’d never said anything about her silently coming into his room at night and taking the shirt he’d worn that day. In fact, just like Theon used to do, he’d taken to leaving it out for her to find easily.
Luka sighed, taking a deep drink from his glass before he said, “Where is she?”
“She slipped into your room about twenty minutes ago, and she hasn’t come back out,” Xan answered. Then he hesitated, pushing a hand through his shoulder-length hair. “While Akira and I were not what you and Tessa are, I could help pull her back from the brink. She found solace with me, and that didn’t need the same…connection.”
“You mean you didn’t end up fucking her,” Luka said.
He was too tired for this. His father always tried to be delicate with these things while Luka was far more blunt like Razik. He supposed that was one thing he had in common with his brother.
Xan blinked once before something akin to disapproval appeared. “I’m saying that while you navigate what you want your relationship to be, you can still help her right now. Until something else can be figured out.”
“And you appear to have more of a soft spot for her than your own children.”
It was a low blow, but he was so godsdamn tired of everyone taking Tessa’s side in this. Everyone subtly hinting that he was making this a bigger deal than it was. Didn’t any of them realize Xan would likely still be in that fucking prison if it wasn’t forhim? Or if Tessa had told him sooner, he could have been out a lot sooner? So many things could be different.
Xan cleared his throat, the collar at his neck glimmering in the low flames hovering around the room. “I have a lot of regrets in my life, Luka. I simply do not wish for you to have to live with the same, but I will not bring it up again.”
Luka said nothing, only knocked back the last of his liquor as he watched his father leave the room. One would think having the tension eased some with Tessa would put him in a better mood, but it was exactly the opposite. It was why he’d gone flying, but here he was.
With another sigh, he set the glass aside and made his way to his room. The door was closed, and it took him a long moment to find her in the dark room, forcing him to shift his eyes. When he found her, she was curled up in an armchair in the corner.
“Tessa?”
She said nothing, and he moved closer, finding her wrapped in one of his shirts and her eyes closed. Despite that, her hands were clenched around the fabric, magic flowing around them. Not letting himself think about it, he reached out, trying to pry them open, but he found her entire being tense and coiled tight. A soft moan of pure agony fell from her parted lips, and he told himself it was out of loyalty to Theon when he scooped her out of the chair.
She immediately melted into him, settling into his chest as he moved her to his bed, only opening her eyes when he pulled the blankets over her. Tessa blinked several times, her brow scrunching in confusion.
“Just for tonight,” he said gruffly, turning away from her to pull his shirt over his head. He tossed it to the corner, knowing she wouldn’t need it tonight, before he grabbed a pair of lightweight pants and changed into them.
She waited until he was climbing into the other side of the low bed before she rasped, “Why?”
“Because you need to sleep, Tessa.”
She fell quiet, and Luka propped his hand behind his head, staring at the ceiling while he waited. Within minutes, her breathing changed, just as he’d known it would, and shortly thereafter, she was rolling into him. He tensed as she nestled into his side, a hand resting on his abdomen while a leg slid over his. Then he loosed a long breath, forcing himself to relax. He let his magic out, watching it gently wrap around her while he slowly did the same with his arm. His dragon gave a satisfied rumble.
It was just for tonight. If he gave her this, let her get some much needed rest, she’d be fine for a while. They wouldn’t need to do this again for at least a week. Maybe two.
That was what he told himself over and over as sleep found him too.
That was what he told himself when he woke a few hours later to find himself curled around her. Her back to his chest. His arm keeping her held tightly to him. His face buried in her neck, her scent surrounding him. But even then, her arm stretched out, her hand seeking another that should be with them.
That was what he told himself when he jerked awake from his magic alerting him to someone crossing his wards around the cave. He was up and out of the bed, already half-dressed and working off pure adrenaline when he realized the bed was now completely empty. No blond hair fanned across a pillow or small form curled into a ball with the blankets thrown off. Apparently, theybothslept more soundly when near each other. He knew that, of course, but that didn’t mean he liked admitting it. Or seeing such blatant evidence of it.
Still, someone had crossed his wards who wasn’t supposed to be here, and Tessa not being in his bed only had him hurrying toslide on his boots as he pulled a shirt on. He was nearly out the door when he saw the paper folded on one of the nightstands, his name scrawled across it.
Luka snatched it up as he left the room, reading as he went, but the more he read, the faster he moved until he was racing up the stairs and out into the crisp morning air. There was nothing here.No onehere. Not her. Not her wolves. Not another living soul. Only a single off-white feather that he bent to pick up.
His heart beating far too quickly, the paper crumpled in his fist where he gripped it, reading the words over again.
Luka-
You once told me I don’t know how to let myself be loved, and I think you’re right. My entire life, I’ve tried to be what others wanted me to be. Mother Cordelia and the instructors at the Estate. Dex and Oralia. Then it was Theon. You. Rordan. Achaz. All these beings with expectations and ideals of what they thought I should be and do and become. In the end, I don’t think it’s my fault for not knowing how to be loved because for so long, I never was. I didn’t know how to recognize it. But you also told me I needed to find myself worthy and deserving. That I needed to fight for me, and because you taught me that, I know I don’t want ‘just for tonights.’ I know that’s all you can offer me now, and I understand why, but because ofyou, I know I can fight for more. That if no one wants wild and untamed and chaotic, then I am content to be alone now. Trying to conform to what this world, the gods, or the Fates think I should be is no longer something I wish to strive for. I simply want to be free of it all because that is what I’m deserving of.
