Page 101 of Pirate Witch
I glance back at the building I’ve just left. The one where my men are still slumbering, silent and unaware of the thoughts going through my head. If I die, they’ll die. But death isn’t evil. A journey to the Stars with them by my side would be peaceful. Madness would tear them apart. At best, they’d become damage control. They’d be my caregivers and wardens, silently resenting me for the burden I would become. At worst, I might hurt them.
But what if Alletta’s right? What if this insane, mad woman somehow knows the key to giving me an edge against Lily and the Queen? Wouldn’t I be a fool not to take it?
Nos’s words come back to me, about how this is my best chance, making me doubt myself.
“You know, even if I’m wrong, the madness doesn’t set in right away,” Alletta croons, reaching out to scratch behind Opal’s ears.
My familiar backs up behind my hair, hissing at her, but Alletta doesn’t react. Come to think of it, I’ve never seen her with a familiar of her own, and that disturbs me more than anything else I’ve seen of her so far. A witch without a familiar is like a person without a soul. Unnatural. Wrong.
“The more you use the power, the less you care,” she adds. “Until eventually you’re free. That’s all anyone really wants, isn’t it? Freedom?”Is that supposed to comfort me? That I won’t know that I’m mad?“Think of it like a backup, dearie. You don’t ever have to use it unless the situation becomes dire. What if one of your yummy men was injured, and you lacked the power to save them because you declined the Sun Goddess’s gift out of fear for yourself?”
She hits a nerve with that one, and she knows it. My mind flashes back to how Val looked when we boarded theDeadwood. How close he came to dying. Hewouldhave died if Cooper hadn’t defended him.
“How certain are you that Fate’s sigil is real?” I ask again. “How do you know it will work?”
Deep down, I know I’m stalling. It’s real. It has to be. Why else would I be so drawn to it in Marianne’s office? I felt the tug that told me I couldn’t leave it behind, and now it’s at the centre of everything. Sure, it could be co-incidence, but that seems unlikely.
All things considered, I’m shocked by how calm I feel. Oh, I’m unnerved by Alletta’s presence, but that’s not unusual. Beyond that, the idea of getting the Sun Goddess and Fate’s marks… doesn’t repel me like it should. My intuition is telling me this is the right move, and intuition is supposed to be a gift from the Goddess.
“Are you sure that’s divine intervention, or could it just be indigestion?”Opal asks, sensing my thoughts.
“There are no guarantees in life except death.” Alletta’s answer is the dictionary definition of unhelpful. Some part of me knew it would be. I’m not even sure why I bothered asking in the first place.
Oh right, because I’m stalling.
“What if I do this? I use the power, and this miracle sigil doesn’t work? How long would I have until the madness starts to show?”
“Do you really think I kept track? If you’re hoping for a journal of my slow descent into madness, I’m afraid I left that in my other hat.”
She’s not wearing a hat…Maybe Opal’s right about the indigestion. Surely no sane, divine being would urge me to trust this woman.
So much could go wrong, and if I go through with this, I’m staking my own sanity on a hunch. The word of a seer who admits he doesn’t know how it will turn out, and a crazed elder witch.
“Lead the way.”Goddess, please let this be the right decision.
ChapterThirty-Four
NILSA
Ialmost expect her to do it there, in the Lunar Temple, but I suppose it makes more sense when she leads me across the city and marches us both out beyond the wall. We don’t stop until we reach a glade far from the rush of people. There’s a half-formed shelter made of logs here, along with the remains of a fire, and it doesn’t take a genius to realise this is where she’s been living while she’s been away from her shop.
Is her exile self-imposed? Or did the high priestesses refuse to welcome her?
I get my answer when she dives into the shelter and returns with a pouch full of the ingredients for the ink.
“Much better out here, less noise and noses,” she mutters as she lights the fire pit. “Stupid temple witches think they find the Goddesses easier in fancy buildings. Ha!”
She waits until the flames are crackling merrily before she tosses a few handfuls of sage into the flames to chase away interfering spirits. That done, she starts to crush the ingredients together, but I turn away, not wanting to watch the ink form in the mortar.
Ripping my dress over my head and watching it fall to the ground feels like giving in. I’ve followed her here, but taking off my clothes and lying on the floor feels like surrender.
I don’t want to do this. I don’t want the kind of power she offers. I hate myself for not being able to see another way.
The ground is cold, but at least the fire has melted most of the snow away from the immediate area. The glade Alletta has been living in is fairly sheltered, but it’s still unseasonably chilly, even without the freezing wind slicing through me.
Kier. This frost has to be his doing. Nos said he’d follow me. Goddess, what must be going through his head right now? I bite my lip and force all thoughts of him from my mind. I can’t be distracted if I want this to work.
Mud and leaves stick to my front as I wait for her to start. I look away, but I can still hear her drawing closer.
