Page 16 of And Still Her Voice
So different from how my father wouldn’t let my mother stop bringing kids into the world until he got his boy. I looked at the cute baby girl, a shock of fine downy hair like her father’s, deep serious eyes, inset like her mother’s. I thought of all of my siblings and how we fought so much. There was no peace in our home, even after Michael, the boy, was born.
“Children are the future,” said Betsy, patting Ben’s lap, gazing out the window as if she’d swallowed a secret.
“I’d wager she’s carrying another child,” Grandma whispered. “After all, children are the future.”
Grandma drove me crazy! What a contradiction after she’d just told me that if the pill were around when she was younger, she’d have taken it.
“But what kind of future will there be for her?” Ben said. “Unless we change things.”
The baby, asleep now, whimpered, her brow furrowing. “She’s chasing angels,” Grandma said. “Oh, you used to be that small. I had so much hope for you. Big plans.”
So that’s what babies are for? Emptyvessels raided by disappointed souls to fulfill unfinished dreams ofa better life, a better future.I was the mirror Grandma held up to see her forgotten self.
“There’s still time to change,” Grandma said.
“What are you gonna change?” I blurted out loud.
“The world,” Betsy said, not reacting to the voice. She pushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “We want to be a part of something bigger. Stand for something greater. Protest more than just the local supermarket for selling non-union grapes. Ben’s going to be shipped off to Nam once he graduates, unless we can somehow stop the war. Stop the baby killing, rescue the child soldiers.”
Child soldiers? Suddenly, I worried about my little brother, only seven, but if this war didn’t end soon, or World War III got started, might he be drafted someday as a child soldier, too? Suddenly my problem with Grandma wasn’t as big. I might figure out a way to handle her, but I wouldn’t be able to save my little brother unless I did something, but I didn’t know what just yet.
“The rally is next week. In the meantime, we’re staying at Ben’s family home in Oakland. His folks are vacationing in Acapulco. You’re welcome to tag along,” Betsy said.
Maybe I could make a difference?
CHAPTER 8
Dead Babies
We arrived late in the evening. Ben parked the car at the top of a steep hill in front of a three-story Victorian home with a gabled roof and a round tower that I imagined Rapunzel might pop out of to let down her hair. I crashed as soon as my head hit the goose feather pillow in an upstairs bedroom belonging to Ben’s sister.
The next morning, in a cozy study across from the foyer, I paced the squeaky floorboards waiting for an answer on the telephone. A thin beam of sunlight cut through the window, illuminating rows upon rows of books like back home. I followed the trail of dust motes floating in the sunbeam’s wake and landing uponWarsI Have Seenby Gertrude Stein.
“Hello? Is that you, Anna?” my little brother Michael hollered. “You went on a galaxy adventure without me?”
“Sorry.” I heard my own breath fill the receiver before a clunk.
Maggie came on the line, breathless as if she’d raced Michael and lost. “Anna, where are you?”
“I’m in Oakland.” I cut to the chase. “How’s Dad doing?”
“He’s all right. Just a little sore, but he’s been much nicer to everyone lately. Even Mom is singing and dancing around the house.”
I was happy for Mom, but hearing that hurt. Wasn’t she worried about me? “So, then it’s a good thing I left, huh?” I twirled around, the cord wrapping me serpent-like.
“Yeah, it seems like,” she answered softly.
“Can I talk to her?”
“She’s at work.” So now Dad doesn’t mind her working? “Wanna talk to Dad?”
“Yes,” Grandma interrupted.
“No. Maybe later,” I added quickly, untangling myself. I wasn’t ready. I just wanted to know if he was okay. “Are the police looking for me?”
“I don’t think so. Why?”
Well, first of all, because I’m a missing person and a minor, except that Mom obviously isn’t missing me. “Because of Dad.”
