Page 57 of Deadly Aloha
As far as I knew, that was the first time Tangaloa had said Pualani’s name since he found out she wasn’t his daughter.
I’d seen my niece a little over a month ago at her second birthday party. I’d brought Lu, and we had told Tangaloa we were going out surfing for the day. There was no doubt he knew where we were actually going, but he still expressed for us to have good waves by saying,“E ?olu nalu.”
Sometimes it was healthier to believe the lie.
“She’s getting so fucking big, and I’m missing it.” His voice was pained with sorrow.
I glanced at my brother. “Is that what you want? To be there for her?”
Tangaloa swallowed hard. “I thought so. Maybe. It’s been a constant battle inside my head if I should go back. Thinking myself a coward for leaving, for filing for divorce without even trying to speak to her, but also knowing I couldn’t have stayed.” He cleared his throat. “Then I saw her today. In my head, she’s always been that little baby who was barely bigger than my hand.” He looked at me for the first time. “I hate myself for not seeing it sooner, for not being able to save myself the agony of having a daughter forthree fucking weeksand then having her ripped so violently from my life. I hate myself for leaving.” Hisfists clenched at his sides. “I hate myself even more because I looked at that little girl this morning and feltnothing. She was my fucking daughter, and I feltnothing. What kind of man does that make me?”
I had no answer for him. I had no idea what I would do in that situation. I also couldn’t judge him for taking to the bottle this morning. When Lu had left me, I’d been drunk for weeks before Tangaloa had practically picked me up and tossed me into the ocean to sober me up.
“There’s a time and place, brother. Drink yourself into a stupor, I don’t give a fuck, but not in Church. And if you ever disrespect me in front of the men again, I will drag you back to Kalea myself and lock the two of you into a room together until you figure your shit out.” I stood to leave. “Sober up. We’re on duty at Yooko’s tonight.”
He grumbled, moaning as he hugged his stomach. “You’re a dick, Aloiki.”
“I’m letting you off easy because I know what you’ve been through, but you need to figure your shit out, Tangaloa. We’re building something here, and I need you by my side.” I paused by his bedroom door. Looking back over my shoulder, I added, “I’m sure learning about Lu yesterday couldn’t have helped. If you need to move out, I understand, but I won’t have you upsetting her.”
“I’d never,” he snapped, offended.
He grumbled something else under his breath that I didn’t catch. “What was that?”
Tangaloa sighed, rolling in bed so his back was to me. “I called you a lucky son of a bitch.” I didn’t have to ask him why he thought that, because he continued, “You’ll never have to know what it’s like to wake up one day and learn your child isn’t actually yours.”
He was right, I didn’t. In that, I was lucky. There was no question of paternity with my baby, and it sucked beyond measure that Tangaloa knew the pain of that betrayal. “You have three hours before we’re heading out,” I told him instead of replying. What the fuck could I say anyway? He had to live with the consequences of his choices, and in this case, my sister’s choices too.
Tangaloa flipped me the bird over his shoulder. I wondered what Kalea would say if she could see her ex-husband now. A part of me didn’t care, honestly. There was no excuse in the world for what she did to him. Nothing would ‘fix’ it, nothing could undo it. But I did wish there was a way to help my brother past it.
However, I was not the right person to give advice about heartbreak. I literally fucked my way through mine and did not come out better on the other side. The only thing that cured me was Lu coming back into my life. That didn’t seem like an option for Tangaloa. He wasn’t ready to forgive Kalea, and honestly, I didn’t think he should. I’d done a lot in my lifetime, but cheating was one sin I could not and would not forgive. I didn’t condone it or support it. But if forgiving Kalea helped Tangaloa heal, would it be worth it?
Fuck, I wasnotthe person to ask these questions. Knowing Lu was in the kitchen, I went in search of her. She was the better person when it came to all this forgiveness and mushy crap anyway. Maybe she could help Tangaloa where I couldn’t.
Not when my biggest concern upon entering his bedroom had been which song would piss him off the most upon waking.
The bonfire litup the lot behind the building. The cloudy night was cool, which was a nice contrast to the blazing heat of the massive fire. All fifteen of Yooko’s trucks, both new and old, were arranged in a large circle, parked in reverse to face away from the flames. Their backs were open and Yooko was even kind enough to put a sign by the right rear tires, letting people know what proclivity was offered within. Music blared loud enough to cover the slapping of flesh and the moans of pleasure. Both men and women walked around clothed, partly clothed, and fully naked as they journeyed between the trucks and the bar.
There was a Royal Bastard with his cut as well as a security person at each truck. Both Mako’s cousin and Mouse now wore a blank cut. They’d been introduced to me at the start of the party. If they made it through the night without incident or managing to piss me off in one way or another, they would earn their Prospect rocker.
Lu and I were lounging on the hood of a truck Yooko had taken out of service when he’d purchased the new ones after partnering with my club. Per him, the truck just didn’t have the required “bounce” anymore. It was an older model and it probably didn’t hurt to add another legitimate rental to the business front, so I didn’t argue. Yooko had been doing this for enough years that I trusted his judgement, even if his tastes were a bit eccentric for me.
My back was against the glass windshield with my ass against the cowl cover. Like a king looking out upon his subjects, I liked the high seat as I watched the crowd below. Lu was sitting withher back to my chest, her head lazing against my shoulder. I had stripped her bare as soon as we’d arrived. Her legs were over mine, her soaking wet pussy revealed to all. One of my hands lazily played with her delicious body while the other fed her from the plate of fruit one of the potential Prospects had given us earlier.
Her stomach was no longer queasy as it had been this morning, for which I was grateful. I did not like seeing Lu in distress and being helpless to stop it.
Others came over to talk every once in a while, but for the most part, it was the two of us in a bubble of our own amongst a crowd of depravity. Just the way I liked it. Lu had a way of making me forget all my responsibilities, my troubles, and my problems. There was very little peace in my life, and all of it could be traced back to her.
Something vibrated on the hood of the car next to us. Lu reached for her phone. Over her shoulder, I saw her answer a quick text from her mother and then put the phone back down.
“Does she know yet?” I had to put my face next to hers to be heard over the music.
Lu tipped her head back a little more on my chest. “No. I don’t want to tell anyone who doesn’t already know until we go to the doctor’s in two days.”
I was going with her for that appointment. Lu had seemed surprised when I informed her of that. Like I was going to miss any part of this pregnancy? Woman had gone insane if she thought that. I was there for his conception, and I would be there for everything else too.
Lu didn’t have the best relationship with her parents anyway. Though they were married, neither was happy in their marriage and both tried to use Lu against the other. The first time I saw it, I laid into both of her parents about their poor treatment of their daughter.No onewas allowed to use Lu like that, not even me.Lu hadn’t been particularly happy about the way I’d spoken to her parents, but she’d also made a point to thank me. Nishi had always let Lu vent about her parents to her, but neither woman had ever spoken up against her parents as I had.
I was forbidden to enter Lu’s parents’ house. Which was fine by me, but it also meant that Lu wasn’t allowed over there either. I wasn’t sure what sort of contact Lu had had with her parents during our separation, but I sure as hell wasn’t going to allow any negativity in Lu’s life anymore. I understood that Lu might want to have her mom involved in the pregnancy, but the woman had one—one—chance. If she said a single thing to upset Lu, even passive aggressively, I would take Lu away from her and she’d never see her daughter again and would never meet her grandson.
