Page 26 of Spared
The drive back to the squad complex feels too short. We talk about everything and nothing, just enjoying the easy comfort we’ve fallen into with one another. By the time he pulls up to the curb to drop me off I’m seriously considering inviting him to my room– but he’s gotta get Cam’s car back to him, and I should probably resist being so damn impulsive.
“Thanks for tonight,” I say, reaching down to unfasten my seatbelt. “I had fun.”
“Me too,” he drawls, hitting me with another one of those sexy grins. “So should we do it again sometime?”
My lips curl into a smirk. “I’ll let you know,” I tease, opening the door and hopping out of the car. “See you tomorrow.”
“I’ll bring coffee,” he calls, winking at me.
I roll my eyes, pushing the door closed, pivoting on a heel, and strutting away.
I feel like I’m in a daze as I make my way around the side of the squad complex to the gate, still giddy over how unexpectedly great tonight was. I’m floating on cloud nine, not paying any attention to my surroundings while I approach the door to the building. As I pull it open and step through, I run straight into someone that’s walking out. Stumbling back in surprise, a strong hand grasps onto my elbow to steady me.
“Whoa, sorry about that,” a male voice chuckles as the guy helps me find my balance. His smile is warm, friendly.Oddly familiar.“Hey, Blair.”
It takes all of two seconds for recognition to dawn on me. I swallow thickly, my smile stiff as I force myself to meet his eyes. “Oh, hey, Caleb.”
Caleb Faulkner was Dylan’s best friend. He stood beside me at his funeral, told me stories about him after. Suddenly, all the lightness from the date feels as if it’s been completely wiped away, replaced by a heavy, suffocating sense of guilt.
“You look nice,” Caleb remarks, eyeing me with a strange curiosity I can’t quite place. “What’ve you been out doing, causing trouble?”
My stomach flips. I can’t tell him the truth– that I just spent the evening with ahunter; someone from the very group that took Dylan’s life. The thought alone makes my chest tighten with shame. It feels like a betrayal of everything– of Dylan, of Caleb, of the mate bond… of everything I thought I stood for.
“Nothing, just catching up with some friends,” I say quickly, my voice strained. I shift my weight uncomfortably, the weight of my sins bearing down on me.
Caleb nods, his expression softening. “How’ve you been?”
“Good, you?” I reply dryly.
He pauses for a moment before he answers, like he’s struggling to find the words. “Good. Just… dealing, y’know?”
I nod, my throat tightening. “Yeah,” I murmur quietly. “Well, I’ll see you around.”
I quickly sidestep him, barely holding it together as I try to escape the conversation and the resulting guilt pressing down on me. My heart races, the sudden urge to flee coursing through me. I don’t look back, my steps echoing in the hallways as I make my way to the dorms, breath coming out in short, uneven bursts.
By the time I reach my door, my hands are shaking so badly that I can barely grip the keys. They slip through my fingers, clattering to the floor, and I curse under my breath as I bend topick them up. I try again, unlocking it this time, and I quickly slip into my room and close the door tightly behind me.
Everything crashes down on me as I press my back against the wood and slide down to the floor, burying my face in my hands. My pulse is jackhammering in my ears, reality crashing in on me.
Matty is a hunter. Aformerhunter, sure, but that doesn’t change the implication. And I… I don’t even know who I am anymore. I don’t know what this is. The thrill of being with him, the undeniable pull between us, it suddenly all feels sowrong.
But tonight, it also feltright.
Tears spring to my eyes, the weight of guilt and confusion threatening to crush me. I can’t make sense of this–anyof it. I try to breathe, but the question claws at my chest, eating me alive.
What the hell am I doing?
CHAPTER ELEVEN
the setback
MATTY
I’ve never jumped out of bed so fast on a Monday morning. The second my alarm goes off, the thought of spending the day with Blair has me kicking the sheets away and scrambling to get dressed, more eager than I’ve ever been to report for work.
I’m so damn gone for this girl.
The simple promise of sitting across from her in the command center, feeling the quiet hum of her presence as we get lost in our tasks, makes the day feel brighter before it’s even begun. I can already picture those dark eyes peeking up at me over her monitor, brow creased and lips pursed in concentration– all those cute little mannerisms of hers that drive me wild. I’ve always enjoyed working alongside Blair, but now there’s the added thrill of knowing there’s something more blossoming between us. Something still largely unspoken, yet undeniable.
