Page 18 of Spared
The dull roar of chatter emanating from the dining hall increases in volume as I draw closer, my stomach gurgling at the prospect of a solid meal. I didn’t realize I worked through lunch today until it was too late. Giving Blair space seemed like the right move, but there’s such a thing as beingtoointently focused on work.
Throwing myself into my tasklist was the only way to keep from obsessing over our interaction this morning. I had to actively force myself not to look at Blair, not to think about her, all while she was sitting right across from me. Talk about torture.
Despite the fact that it’s closing soon, the dining hall is still relatively busy when I stride through the open doorway. I’m halfway across the room when I hear my name being called over the sounds of rumbling voices and clattering silverware, glancing in the direction it came from to find Gia beckoning me with a wave.
I don’t know why I hesitate before pivoting her way. Gia doesn’t hide the fact that she’s interested in me or play a grueling game of hot and cold. Things would be a whole lot easier ifshewas the girl I’m hung up on, but I guess I must be some sort of masochist because I’ve only got eyes for the one who said kissing me was a mistake and swore it won’t happen again.
It sure didn’t feel like a mistake in the moment. No part of that kiss felt like she didn’t want it just as much as I did, and there’s only so much we can tiptoe around this smoldering sexual tension before it catches fire again.
Gia’s seated at a table with a few friends, all of whom pause to glance up curiously as I approach. “Wanna join us?” Gia asks hopefully, tapping a palm against the bench beside her in invitation.
“Wish I could,” I sigh, reaching behind my head to rub the tight muscles at the base of my neck.Occupational hazard.“I’ve still got work to finish up, so I’m just grabbing some food to take back to the command center.”
Gia’s friends apparently lose interest in our interaction, resuming their own conversation while she swivels my way and kicks a leg over the bench to straddle it. “Again?” she whines, dropping her palms to the bench and shifting forward in a seductive lean, pouting her lower lip. “But it’s Friday! I thought you were gonna try to come out to the bar tonight since you missed last week.”
If I dropped my gaze, I’d see straight down her shirt.
“I know, but duty calls,” I reply apologetically, keeping my eyes up.
She huffs out a breath that ruffles the chocolate strands of hair framing her heart-shaped face. “When are they gonna give you a break?”
“I don’t mind, really,” I shrug. “I like work.”
“Ew, why?” she scoffs, scrunching her nose.
I open my mouth to respond but quickly close it again, knowing any explanation I give her won’t resonate. The fact that she just asked that question tells me she doesn’t get it.
Blair does. She never bats an eye about staying late, knowing that what we’re doing every day in the command center matters. We’re dismantling the last dredges of The Guild piece by piece, saving the lives of countless shifters by blocking any means of them reassembling. This job has given me a sense of purpose, and being good at it makes it enjoyable.
I can tell it’s the same for Blair. She throws herself into her work just as much as I do because it distracts us from the reasons why we’re here in the first place, chasing redemption and revenge. We’d both rather forget than feel.
I just shrug in answer to Gia’s question, realization finally dawning as to why I can’t seem to go after the girl who likes me back rather than chasing the one who keeps pushing me away. Gia’s great, but she doesn’tgetme. Not like Blair does.
“Can’t you get out of it?” she presses, tilting her head and batting her lashes.
I shake my head, even though I easily could. There’s nobody breathing down my neck or holding me to a timeline– hell, Cam and Avery didn’t even come in today to check on the progress we’ve made. There’s no reason I can’t just log off and leave, but it’s the end of the week and my tasklist isn’t quite finished. Besides, Blair and I seem to have this unspoken agreementwhere we don’t start our weekend until the work is done, so as long as she’s still burning the candle, so will I.
“Not even if your partner’s done working?” Gia asks, glancing toward the entrance to the dining hall.
I turn to follow her gaze, brow furrowing at the sight of Blair walking in. “Hey,” I call out when our eyes lock, waving at her. “I said I’d bring food back forbothof us.”
“I can get my own dinner,” Blair replies tersely, rolling her eyes as she struts past.
“Yikes,” Gia comments, hissing in a breath through her teeth as she watches after her. Then she turns back to me, dropping her voice low. “What’s it like working with the ice queen, anyways?”
“What?” I scoff, flinching back with a scowl and shaking my head. “Blair’s cool.”
“Is she?” Gia snorts disbelievingly. “Because from what I’ve heard, she’skindaa cold bitch.”
“Her mate died,” I deadpan.
“I know, butstill.”
I just stare back at Gia for a long moment, something inside me rearing up in defensiveness for Blair’s plight. “I don’t think it’s fair to judge something you can’t understand,” I reply in a clipped tone, flickering a glance in Blair’s direction as she peruses the food offerings. “I’ll never experience the fated mate thing, but from watching Cam and Avery together, it’s obvious how deep that bond goes. I can’t imagine having something like that, then losing it.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Gia concedes with a sigh, drawing my attention back to her. She tilts her head thoughtfully as she gazes up at me, then suddenly shoves up from the bench, throwing up a hand and calling out, “Hey Blair!”
My breathing stalls as Blair slowly turns to cast a suspicious glance our way. Gia waves for her to come over, and surprisingly,she allows herself to be summoned, crossing the dining hall to join us.
