Page 34 of Forever Yours on Christmas Eve
“You know it.”
Chapter 9
Kelsey
Kelsey stared out the window of the train, watching the snowy landscape streak by in a white blur. Resting her head against the window, it almost felt like her body was just too tired to hold her up anymore.
After talking with Sev, telling him that she couldn’t leave Newport for the date they’d been planning on fora year now,it broke her heart at how understanding he had been. Yes, she had good, solid reasons, but that didn’t mean she was happy about it.
Couldn’t one thing go right this year?
Add to it the email she’d received from the Dean’s office, wanting to “have a talk” with her about her note for why she had dropped her two classes. She agreed to come in on the train for an afternoon meeting, figuring she would just explain herself, in person, and then have the bursar’s office resolve her account. To her surprise, the Dean herself had relayed some particularly damning information provided by those two professors.
They both painted a torrid picture of her, saying she couldn’t keep up in class and never reached out for extra help. Because she had opted to “do right” by her professors and approach themduring office hours, she didn’t have proof of their verbal, callous responses. Both had insisted that they had been nothing but supportive of her in her time of need, denying that they refused to modify their class or curriculum on her behalf. Feeling the pressure, both turned their misbehavior back on Kelsey, stating that she wasn’t a good student, one even questioning if she had the “heart” of an art therapist.
Hearing that nearly killed her.
Blinking away the tears and letting them roll down over her face, she thought about her life over the past couple of years. When she ended things with Chip, she recalled feeling so much lighter. She’d spent her time with him contorting herself like an Olympic gymnast trying to be the woman of his dreams, while he sat back and did nothing for her. A giver and a taker. That was the sum of their relationship.
She vowed she’d never forget who she was ever again.
But somehow, this whole situation with school felt very familiar on a microscopic level to that. She had tried so hard to do well in her classes, but her wonderful undergraduate reputation of being reliable, smart, and interactive had taken a complete nosedive. It was like she didn’t even know who she was anymore.
To add to it, she and Sev still had yet to put a label on… whatever it was they were. They’d spent more time texting and calling this year, and he’d touched her heart in more ways than one, sending her little notes and cards, even three red roses on Valentine’s Day.
She smiled at the memory and grappled for her small backpack next to her. Pulling out her wallet and unzipping it, she peered into the bottom where three rather beat-up, folded yellow roses still sat. She’d never taken them out since the night he’d painstakingly made them. He’d been a friend to her when she needed it and became so much more to her over the past couple of years.
She wasn’t sure the precise moment she’d fallen in love with him, but it wasn’t hard at all to figure out why. He was kind, loving, caring. He was a man with his own life and his own future to build,but he made room for her. Confided in her. And in turn, no matter what life threw her way, he made her feel like she could soar.
She never wanted to let go of him.
Zipping her wallet closed and tucking it back in her bag, she pulled out the sketchbook Sev had given her last year. As she touched down a pencil to the paper, she felt the comforting sensation of the graphite gliding along the rough, thick paper. Drawing helped her to focus, and as she zoned out and let the art flow through her fingertips, she thought about what she wanted.
She wanted a life full of love.
Of course, that meant Sev.
If anything, that man was the epitome of understanding in rough circumstances. She didn’t have to pretend a thing when she was around him. She didn’t have to eat daintily or show up looking a certain way. She’d had more conversations with him over the past year when she was looking positively ill after sitting inside all day waiting on her father’s treatments, and he’d never been anything other than supportive.
But they were stuck in this year-long limbo, and while she loved the contact they had, she suddenly didn’t feel like coasting along in safe waters any longer.
As if he was on the same wavelength, a text popped up, causing her phone to vibrate.
Hey sweetheart, thinking of you.
Smiling to herself, she ran her thumb over the message.
Are your ears burning?
No, why?
Because I’m thinking of you, too
How’d it go with the Dean?
Even though she hated the idea of rehashing the experience, she knew Sev would be on her side, no matter what.
Hard. But I think I got her to understand what really happened.
