Page 30 of Forever Yours on Christmas Eve
She watched him nod and answer her questions, though shecouldn’t hear his voice over the pounding in her head. The words came sporadically despite his relaxed face trying to convey to her that everything was alright.
That they weren’t talking about the big C.
“I’ll get discharged as soon as I can,” he said, making it all sound likebrain surgerywas a walk in the park. “I called Uncle Storm, and he’ll be up this coming weekend to help me settle. I don’t want this affecting you at all.”
“Don’t want this affecting me?” she asked, finally finding her voice. “How can you possibly think that the potential for losing the only parent I have won’t affect me?”
He paused, taking her in as he grimaced. She hated it when he grimaced. It usually meant there was a whole lot he was trying to hold back. Probably his own emotions were at the top of the list.
“You aren’t going to lose me.”
“You don’t know that.”
He paused again, taking in a deep inhale through his nose as he folded his hands in front of him. “Kiki, don’t breathe life into your fears. You’ve got to start from where you are.”
While his words felt like sage advice, she also noted that for once, Admiral Kramer did not have a plan for the future. He was going to have surgery. In just a few days. And then recover.
Then what?
“I’ll come back on Wednesday night,” she announced. It would take some shuffling, but she’d make it work for her classes. “I want to be here when you go into surgery.”
“No,” he answered, definitively. “Uncle Storm is coming, so you don’t have to worry.”
The idea brought out an absurd, barking laugh in her. “Do you really think that I won’t worry if I’m not here?”
“We are going to take this one day at a time. I’ll not have you rearranging your entire life because of one surgery,” he said, picking up his spoon and dipping it back into his soup, effectively ending theconversation.
Kelsey swallowed, mindlessly reaching for her own spoon, and trying to choke down the reality of what was happening. In his mind, he thought that keeping her life as normal as possible was the best prescription. As if she wouldn’t imagine the worst happening in between reading chapters and writing papers.
Sitting up taller in her chair, a realization settled over her. Her life plans, thus far, weren’t settling to begin with. Be it the professor, the school, or maybe the course of study itself. Something wasn’t right; otherwise, it wouldn’t feel like she was battling uphill daily for a shred of success.
It was time she refocused. Put her time and energy into the things that mattered to her. Her education was important to her, as was her career. But above family? Above love?
Nothing mattered more to her, and she had her father to thank for that lesson.
“I will be here Wednesday night,” she reiterated in a tone that her father had taught her. Unforgiving and un-mess-with-able. “I’ll stay with you through the weekend, and I will be there with you every time a doctor walks in to talk with you.”
“Kiki—”
“No,” she said simply, as she cast her eyes in his direction. “There hasn’t been a time in my life that you haven’t been there for me. Let me be there for you.”
His face was impassive as he looked at her, but she saw the moment his jaw unclenched. A slow, solidary nod, and they went back to their dinners.
Nothing more needed to be discussed.
Because even though he didn’t have a lot of answers, even for questions he probably had already asked, he was right in that they didn’t have a choice in the matter. They could build on fear, they could grapple around aimlessly, or they could start from where they were.
Scooping up a spoonful and putting it in her mouth, the soup now tasted like ash.
Chapter 8
Sev
It had been almost a full month since he’d spoken to Kelsey.
Stepping down out of the aircraft and onto the tarmac, he followed his unit back inside after a long, brutal training. She’d been right in her assessment, and it had been clear to Sev within days of arrival that they weren’t looking to see how talented he was at his job, but what kind of leader he’d be.
Thanks to that little heads up, he felt like he was able to crush it.
