Page 63 of Accidentally Mine
God, I hated this.I hated this life so much, living in a state of flux all the time, never being able to call somewhere home for fear that I’d be found and have to pick up and leave.I didn’t want to run anymore.I wanted to put down roots.To have friends and family in a place I loved and not have to look over my shoulder wherever I went.I wanted to wake every day in the same bed and gaze into the eyes of someone who really loved me, someone who thought I always came first, knowing that we would be together forever.
I didn’t want to keep drifting like a leaf on the wind, never knowing where I’d end up, or who I’d be with, losing pieces of myself every day, until I crumbled away into nothing.
Maybe I couldn’t go back to the way it was before.But I wanted to stop being on the run.
17
Brent
One of the things that had drawn me to my brownstone was the rooftop.A private area for me, away from neighbors, with the hot tub and grill and seating area overlooking the gardens.But my favorite part was an area that was hidden by shrubbery.Long and narrow, it stretched across the back of the roof patio, and I’d had it enclosed with a wall.It was the only easily accessible place I had to practice my archery.
Anytime I felt a little stressed, I found myself up on the roof, shooting arrows.The process was instant stress relief.Assuming the shooting position, nocking the arrow on the bowstring, drawing and anchoring the bow.Aiming.Taking a deep breath.Releasing the string and following through.It always left me more relaxed and in a better state of mind.
It wasn’t working this evening.
“Hey.Your aim is off,” Ernest called from just behind me, before going to the target to pull the arrow out and returning to my side.
I lifted my hand over my eyes to shield from the sun.“Sun glare,” I said, though the sun had mostly disappeared behind the clouds.
Ernest was no idiot.He didn’t buy it.He knew as well as I did that I rarely missed.“Right.”
I lined up my next shot and hit center, but the next two were wild, way off the gold center of the target.I couldn’t get Roselynn, or Rebecca, out of my mine.She was keeping her motivations from me.She was going to get her affairs in order, and then she was going to leave.She didn’t trust me enough to let me in.
And where would that leave me?
I was falling for her.Dammit, I hadn’t wanted to.After my injury, I’d convinced myself that I was meant to be on my own.That someone like me, broken, didn’t deserve the company of a woman, whose life I’d only make difficult with my lingering difficulties.Then Roselynn came along and not only reminded me what I was missing, but also made me think that maybe I had something to offer, after all.
When my next arrow went wild, barely hitting the target, Ernest raised a hand.“Hey, kid, maybe you should call it a day?It’d really be a wicked pisser of a day if I got an arrow up my ass.”
I chuckled, conceding, and stashed my bow and quiver of arrows in the cabinet I’d had built for that purpose.
I stepped down into the rooftop patio and sat in one of the lounge chairs at the table overlooking the gardens.From there, I could only see the treetops.It began to drizzle a little, but the umbrella was up.Somewhere, a boat’s foghorn blasted.A cool, hazy fog was blowing in off the ocean, kind of like that night.
As much as I tried not to think of it, something always brought me right back to that damn night.
“I’m trying to understand,” Ernest said, pouring me a lemonade and sitting in the chair opposite.“You’ve got the girl.Isn’t she what you want?”
“I’m pretty sure she’s what I want,” I said, thinking about the last time I’d seen her.But since then, she’d been distant.We’d had an amazing night together, and then she’d ignored my phone calls, my texts.I hadn’t seen her for two days.Things were far from settled.“But I don’t think Ihaveher.I think she’s going to leave.”
He nodded.“Marie said something like that.”
I sucked down the full glass of lemonade and sat up straighter.“She did?What did she say?”
“Nothing much.Just that her niece was itching to leave.I got the feeling there was something in her past.Something more than the accident.”
I sucked an ice cube from my glass and crunched on it.“It’s an abusive boyfriend, this Markin guy who just so happens to be fucking mafia.She was running away from him then.She won’t talk to me about it.I think she’s afraid that if I know too much, it could hurt me.And what can I do if she won’t be totally honest with me?”
“Did you ask her?”
I frowned.“What do I say?‘I know you’re hiding from your mafia connection’ and force her to spill it to me?”
He shrugged.“Well…yeah.I mean, maybe a little more tactfully than that, but that’s the basic gist.”
I slumped back in the chair and tilted my face to the cloud-heavy sky.“I wanted to go there.I was going to.”I rubbed my temples.“But I’m always second-guessing things now.I used to be more decisive than this.I can’t help feeling like I’ll come across wrong and push her away.I feel like half a person.”
I bit back what I was thinking.That Roselynn deserved a whole person.She deserved more than me.And maybe it would be better for her if she did leave town and have a chance to find him.
Ernest pushed down his mirrored sunglasses and studied me.“You’re a hell of a lot more than half a person.”
