Page 25 of Fall
8
Natalia
I hate having to play this charade on my own damn birthday.
The grand ballroom of our home is festive, and the decor is glitzy with all the gold ribbon streamers strung along the walls and between the room's massive chandeliers. But with so few guests,all this work to decorate it makes the room seem hollow, empty.
I’m much like the fake palm trees the decorators placed on the terrace and along the outskirts of the grounds outside. They seem warm with the glowing lights woven through their branches, but if you touch one of them, it’s cold.
A fake.
Spending the entire dinner party set up in my honor with a bright smile plasteredon my face, when all I want to do is bawl my eyes out.
Or scream.
Or demand more answers.
I’m partly to blame, though. Serves me right for poking around in places where I have no business being. I shouldn’t have snuck into Nonna’s room and eavesdropped on her phone calls back home while she wasn’t looking. It was not nice of me. But I don’t regret it.
I know what’sgoing on now.
Well, I know everything that Nonna is aware of. Knowing this family, there's sure to be more, but at least I'm not entirely in the dark about what feels like the end of the world.
The end of my world.
It’s not often that I see Nonna like this. Emotionally frayed and scared behind her own mask of joyfulness. But she is, and it’s no stretch that it’s because theman we all answer to is going to cut off the Romanos for one relative’s disobedience. The last thing she would want at a time like this is to leave home. We just got back here. But if she’s sold on going into hiding somewhere out of the country where our people can’t get to us, it must be bad.
And the worst part is that so much is going to change.
We’re leaving some people behind.
People like Antonio.
I don’t know how he must feel about it all. Does he realize that by becoming the acting boss while Father is away, there’ll also be a target on his back?
I understand now why they were all keeping this devastating news from me. I can’t focus on my birthday. It seems so inconsequential, the idea of entertaining guests and acting like it’s the best day everwhen I’m not enjoying myself. There’s no point celebrating to be surrounded by people we can’t say a word to. I’ve never been that convincing of a liar. Sure, I can be poised and polite if needed. This situation, however, is extreme. My closest friends and family have gathered in our ballroom. All evening long, they’ve been complimenting me on the shimmering backless, designer Armani dress I haveon. Some guests comment on how much they love my hairdo or shoes, or how lovely a woman I’m growing up to become, or how much I look like my mother, or how proud they are that I’ll be attending Princeton once college starts next week.
All I have are questions for Father. And I deserve answers for every last one of them.
Where are we going?
For how long?
Who else isgoing with us?
Does this mean I won’t be at Princeton this fall as planned? And if not, when?
How safe will we be wherever it is that we’re going?
How much stuff can I take?
Is this really temporary, or are we cut off for life?
Will Father and Nonna be with me, or are we splitting up for a while?
If Antonio isn’t going, can I at least keep in touch?
Will he and his brothers join us eventually? If not, why?
