Page 35 of Release
Chapter 13
ALEXANDRA didn’t knowwhy she had let things go this far. She was in her foyer and had just pushed Wilkes away after that heated kiss at the front door.
“That really should not have happened,” she said to him, inhaling sharply. Wilkes was staring down at her with a warm, sultry gaze. He didn’t have a reply for her. She needed him gone. Stat. “You need to leave now.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he said.
“No. It’s not about whether it’s a good idea or not, Wilkes. I need you to leave.”
“You lips are saying one thing, but your eyes are telling me something else, Lexxi. It’s time you just let go and let me give you what you’ve wanted since the first day we met.”
None of what Wilkes said made sense anymore. Yet, he was still standing in the middle of her foyer, and Alexandra was still caught up in some hazy fog of their past, acting on sheer unresolved emotion, reacting and not taking charge by kicking him out. That was what she should have done, but right now, the lines were blurred and words likeshouldandmustdid not elicit any action.
Wilkes continued to step her back through the foyer and her eyes continued to be locked in his gaze until she felt the suede sofa bump up to the backs of her legs. They were now in the sitting room at the back of her house.
He kissed the top of her head and slowly stepped back. “You look like you could use a drink. I know I can use one.”
Without waiting for her to answer, he headed towards the built-in bar beside the entertainment center in one corner of the large room. Alexandra declined on the drink and took a seat on the familiar tan suede couch, kicking off her heels as Wilkes made himself at home in the space they used to share more often than not. He eyed her inquisitively from the bar as he stood there, waiting for something.
A moment later, Wilkes settled on the couch next to her with two drinks in hand, a curious glint in his stare. She could tell his tentative look probably had to do with the fact that he was surprised this was happening. Heck, she was surprised too, and had no idea how to cut it short.
I don’t even know why I’m here.
“Have a drink, Lex. You’ll feel better.” He sipped from his drink, not breaking his gaze from her for even a second. “I think I need to say this so you don’t think the worst of me, or yourself. This is not some sort of a booty call.”
Picking up the drink he made her—a wine glass with pinot noir, which he knew was her favorite—she downed a long gulp and crossed her legs. She ran a hand through the loose black curls that spilled into her eyes, then relaxed her elbow on side of the sofa, studying him.
Sighing, she gave talking it out a try. “I used to enjoy spending time in this room with you, you know?” The words pelted out to her amazement, because they weren’t what she was going to say. Still, the statement hit the nail on the head. It was true. What they had was in the past. He was also correct, that they had not put the end of the relationship to rest. This was the real goodbye, at least it was for Alexandra.
“I miss being around here too.”
“I don’t want a lonely or empty relationship, Wilkes.”
That was the truth. She didn’t want to be lonely anymore. She gnawed on her bottom lip and closed her eyes. “Why did we keep each other at such a distance? I have so much…so much…something inside of me that I wish I could just set free. Emotions, feelings, just something. It was bottled up while we were together.”
He cast a lovesick look in her direction. “I can’t change what I did in the past. All I can control is now. Right now there’s something between us. Something bigger than what was there before. Look at me, Lex.” She turned to him again. “I’m so in love with you, it’s not going to change overnight.”
Alexandra scoffed. “You’re not in love with me, Wilkes. You’re used to winning, and not used to being told no.”
He shook his head and sat next to her on the sofa, squaring his shoulders. “Regardless of what you think, Lexxi, if I say I’m in love with you, you can bet your last dollar it’s the truth.”
“Fine, Wilkes. You’re in love with me. The issue is I’m in love with Bash.”
“Then give him a try. Give him a try tomorrow, but don’t ignore what’s happening between us right now. This is only going to resolve itself if you face up to it.” Wilkes slipped from the couch to sit on the floor at her feet, staring up at her. His gaze roamed over every detail of her face, like he was committing this moment to memory as a way of saying goodbye. For the first time, it felt like the bastard might not be lying. He may have actually been here to let her go tonight.
Her pulse quickened at the thought, realizing there were worse things than having her heart broken—because there was something better on the horizon, someone who loved her and wouldn’t hurt her the way Wilkes had. Wilkes may have been acting like he wanted her to give him another try, but maybe this was also his way to make amends and end on a good note. He had spent weeks trying to prove to her he was a changed man, and she had assumed he was doing it in the hopes she would see something about him worth salvaging. Now she wasn’t so sure. Maybe he needed to do this to move on too. Maybe she did too.
“What are you thinking about?” he asked, patting her knee and looking up at her. She shook her head, not wanting to say anything more. A questioning look arose on Wilkes’ face as he studied her. “If this is our real goodbye, just know I’ll hurt like hell if you let me go without holding you.” He placed a tender hand on her cheek and Alexandra suddenly felt like she was about to cross the point of no return. “Lexxi…” Her name spilled from his lips in a whisper.
She closed her eyes just as his lips press against hers. The spark of arousal that flared when they kissed at the door lit up again, this time brighter and more potent than before. She took her time and explored it, experienced the moment. She was aware of the scent of his cologne, the soapy, clean smell of his skin, and his unique masculine scent that definitely reach her consciousness.
His hard planes met her softness when she eased down from the chair until she was straddling his lap, wrapping her arms around his wide shoulders. She felt his heat, heard the rapid intake of air in his lungs, felt his heart pounding on her chest.
She tried not to think about Bash. This wasn’t about Bash. This was about letting go of Wilkes and being whole again.
Or is it?
Wilkes repositioned her against his body with a shift of his hips, sending a zing of awareness through her. She shivered in his embrace. Her heart was pounding faster too. He groaned lightly into her mouth and glided a hand up the back of her neck. He tangled his fingers in her hair and he cupped the back of her head. Slanting his mouth against hers, his other hand caressed the curve of her ass. His hips eased forward again, the hardness of his manhood probing at her through their clothes. She gasped, and Wilkes gripped her at her neck, holding her in the kiss.
