Page 28 of Release
Clint shook his head and put his chess piece down. “Ladykiller.”
He was not dropping it, so Sebastian did what he had been holding off for two or three turns. “Checkmate. Game over.”
“Well shit, Bash.” Clint ran a hand down his face and clucked at the chessboard, trying to figure out how he lost so quickly. “You know, you’re the only person who beats me every time.”
“The secret is distraction, my friend. The minute I get you talking, it’s over and done with. Distract and conquer.” He smiled broadly.
Clint crowed with laughter. Sebastian stretched and kept his eyes off the TV. Clint had changed it to his celebrity news shows, and Sebastian did not want to chance seeing Lexxi, with Wilkes, and possibly his own face up on the screen, with some heading that might readLexxi’s Tucson Love Triangle. He had not heard from Aileen or her husband, so he imagined anything was possible.
On the bright side, his aunt dropped by almost every other day now. With Sebastian holed up on the first floor to avoid having to take the stairs, his aunt made a point of coming by with meals, dropping him to and from his appointments, and even made him dinner a few evenings. He owed her tons. She didn’t hover or coddle him too much. She was often out of the house within an hour or two of coming by. Mostly, she made the process of relearning how to walk on the operated knee a lot easier.
“Have you heard from any of the guys from work?” Clint changed the subject.
Sebastian nodded. “Every few days. They used to call more, back when I first took leave. Lately the calls have been fewer and further between…”
“Yeah…yep, that’s how it is.”
“How do you stand it, Clint? I’m trying hard not to sink under the weight of this. I just want to get back to work, but what if—”
“Stop feeling sorry for yourself,” Clint muttered. He shook a cigarette out of a pack. He rarely smoked, but he did when he was choked up about something.
Sebastian studied him and realized something he said probably ticked him off. “I’m not. I’m just saying, I’m having a hard time.”
“So why are you looking like you’re feeling sorry for me?” he gruffly countered.
“No, no…I mean. Christ, Clint. You know what I mean.”
Finally he laughed a little, puffing on his cigarette and staring at the TV. “Sure I can relate. When this first happened to me and I found out I’d be stuck in a wheelchair the rest of my natural born life, this big ole tattooed firefighter blubbered like a newborn squealing for a suckle. I couldn’t function. I had no idea how to accept my fate. What brought me out of the woods was surrendering my pride long enough to realize one man can’t take on the whole world. I needed help, and people around me. Bash, the truth is you have to make sure you see the big picture and don’t lose out on those opportunities.”
“You’re talking about Lexxi again, aren’t you,” he asked, shaking his head. “You know, I did just tell you I’m going to ask her to move in.”
“Yeah? When?”
“I said…when she’s back in town.”
“Okay, so when’s that?”
“I don’t know.”
“That’s my point.”
“What kind of point is that?”
Clint pointed at Sebastian, squinting. He blew out a cloud of smoke. “The point is you. I’m talking about you. I’ve watched you for years, and I know you hide out whenever you hit a rough patch. You did it after what happened with Aileen last Christmas. That’s the worst thing you could do right now. You need to come out into the open, Bash. Frankly, if that means picking up the phone and asking Lexxi tonight…well then, I reckon you ought to ask her. If it means sitting around my ole stoop half the night, you’re welcome to do that, too. So long as you do something and stop feeling sorry for yourself. Cause hell, we all could be worse off, and we all need to count our blessings. No sense in comparing hardships.”
“Point taken,” Bash said with a nod. Sighing, he leaned into the firm chair back, inhaling the smell of fried chicken and field peas. He checked the time and decided he’d get home before it got too late. He didn’t want to intrude on their family time. Pulling out his phone again, he called a cab to get him. When it arrived, he grabbed his crutch, said his goodbyes and went home.
Finally at home, he looked around his house, thinking of the nights Alexandra had stayed here with him.
Yes. I’ll phone her now.
I’ll ask her to move in with me.
If she asks me to move out there, I’ll give some serious thought to that too.
With his thoughts on her, he pulled out his phone and called, trying to picture what she might be doing. At her office working her ass off. Recording a new song. In her mansion. It struck him that he didn’t even know how she spent her days.
The call went to voicemail. Sebastian hung up without leaving a message. Moving off from the foyer, he grabbed a plate of leftover grilled chicken from the fridge, warmed it up, and ate alone in the kitchen.
We’re worlds apart.
I can only guess what’s going on in hers.
Fuck. I’m not going to let her go.
Time to fight for my woman.
