Page 86 of Grave Love
Savior?
His brother saved me?
Did I want to die, or was I just seeing what it might be like?
It’s hard to think straight.
“Who saved me?” I ask. “Blaze, I—”
Blaze kneels next to the bed, our eyes at the same level. Uneasiness creeps into my stomach, clawing for my heart. His gaze shifts back and forth across me, searching for the right words. He stays back. Almost like he’s scared to touch me.
And that’s not like Blaze.
“I had your drugs,” he says. The spite comes through, even as he keeps his voice steady. “I had everything ready for you, and you thought you were better than me. Smarter than me. If you didn’t need me, then you wouldn’t have done any of this in the first place. But you doneedme, Ren. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be here right now.”
His words echo inside of me.
I wouldn’t be here right now. I’d be gone. A corpse.
He saved me.
Then my mind narrows on the first part—
I had your drugs.
He kept them from me. Played with me. Hid what he had promised.
He was supposed to give them to me.
I raise my voice: “You lied to me. You—”
“We made an agreement, andyoufucking broke it,” he says. He grips the bedsheets next to me, his eyes bloodshot, the veins in his neck engorged. “Do you know what happens when someone betrays my trust?”
I think of his mother. His second and his third. My destiny as his fourth.
I never truly needed him. He showed me that. He put my finger on the trigger, but I completed the shot.
He acts like he owns mylife,and that’s not what our arrangement is. All I promised him was my death.
“You don’t own me,” I hiss. “You never ownedanyof your victims. That’s why you had to kill them, isn’t it? They didn’t do what you said. You couldn’t control anyone. Not even your mother.”
He leans in closer, daring me to speak. “Be careful of what you say now, my love.”
“Or what?” I taunt. “Are you going to kill me? Going to live up to a threat for once?” Blaze’s eyelids flicker. My stomach knots; I don’t like hurting him, but I can’t stop. Iwanthim to hurt. To feel emotional pain. I want him to feel weak, like I do for once. I want him to understand how angry I am. Thathe’sthe one who showed me how to take back my power. Thathe’sthe one who taught me how to fight back too.
“No. You’re just a scared little boy. Too stupid to actually do anything. To fight back!” I laugh, twisting the knife as hard as I can. He reddens, his chin held high, but his jaw tightens, and the pain seeps through. Cracks his hard shell.
Blaze doesn’t need me. I have to force him to understand that.
I continue: “You’re just a weak, insignificant, little—”
He reaches forward, aiming for my throat. I won’t have that right now.
I block his shot.
I slap his face.
Blaze glares at me. My fingertips vibrate with the will to keep going. To see how far I can take him. To force him to finally finish it. To see that he doesn’t need me. That I’ll never be enough, no matter how hard I try.
