Page 77 of Grave Love
Blaze is keeping me here.
I’m still alive.
Blaze’s eyes glimmer, pride expanding his chest. And it hits me.Thisis happiness, isn’t it? Pure fucking happiness. That he cares about me. That he’s looking after me. That he forced me to experience my final moments, but he didn’t let me die.
It scares the shit out of me.
“Why are you being nice to me?” I whisper. A genuine smile spreads across his lips, and for once, his eyes soften.
“I care about my things,” he says.
My shoulders tighten. Can a man like Blaze truly care about anything? It seems too good to be true. Blaze’s expression changes, reading my apprehension. That arrogant side storms back in, saving it all.
“My body,” he says, his greedy eyes washing over me from head to toe. “My choice.”
Like he owns me.
Like I have no control.
The shadows close in, my vision darkening with powerlessness. Weakness invading my nervous system. It feels goodnow,but eventually it’ll become hollow, and I won’t be able to do anything about it. Any time something seems too good to be true, itis.It always is. And this? Blaze calling in to get me fired, when we both know he called in for me so that I could have a break? Getting me coffee? Acting like he’s looking out for me?Thisis too good to be real.
I rub my forehead. It can’t be real. I’m powerless.
And yet, Blaze showed me that I was capable of making those decisions for myself. I do have power. Just like my mother. Like my grandmother. Like Blaze.
“I have to go,” I say. Blaze stiffens. I lift my shoulders. “I need to check on my grandmother.”
“Last I saw, she was capable of taking care of herself.”
I huff through my nostrils like I’m annoyed at Blaze; the truth is I’m more annoyed with myself. Mrs. Richmonddoesn’tneed me. Just like my mother didn’t need me either.
And I don’t need Blaze.
“I just—” I fidget, trying to figure out how to say it without giving my fears away. “I need to go home. To think over everything that happened last night. Process it, you know? Is it wrong that I want to check on her? To make sure she’s okay?”
The air conditioning buzzes at a low volume.
Outside, a car drives past.
Time ticks by.
Blaze sighs. “Then let me take you there.”
I wrinkle my brow. “I drove my own car.”
“Then I’ll follow you.”
He heads back to the kitchen, and that frustrates me. There’s no space to deny him if he walks away.
But I’m not going to fall for this anymore.
I take off the choke chain and leash. The metal links clink together on his bed.
As Blaze paces in the kitchen, pretending to put away dishes, I get dressed, then examine the gun on the nightstand. I could take itnow.Figure out which bullets it needs. I can choose the endingIwant. I can take my power back.
I’m capable of ending things. Blaze showed me that. And I don’t need to find out what happens when this situation with Blaze falls apart. I’d rather leave first.
“All right,” Blaze says, startling me. He motions to the front of the house. “Let’s go.”
