Page 74 of Grave Love
“Look at me,” Blaze growls, his voice so loud, his words vibrate in my chest. He pinches my lips shut, silencing those voices inside of my head. “I see what you’re doing, Ren. I see it in your eyes.” He slaps my face. “Don’t you dare go there. Leaving this place like you don’t belong to me. I took it from you, and you’re not getting it back. So just fucking stop.”
It.
The tears unleash. Whateveritis, my mind screams that he stole it from me, but my heart knows that it’s not true. Igaveit to him. I offered myself. I offered mylife.I offered him everything I am, and for once, the emptiness inside of me is palatable. Like Blaze is filling it with himself. Like I can hold on to him.
Our foreheads press together. His cock enters my ass again, using me, giving me everything I didn’t know I needed. This time, there’s no pain, only sensation, and I stop questioning it. There is no chance to fail because there is no such thing as failure to Blaze. People are people. We are nothing. He isn’t special. I’m not. And there’s nothing in this world that matters beyond this moment.
And it’s so freeing.
My cries catch in my throat, turning into moans, and Blaze’s eyes bleed with desire. He pumps his cock inside of me, and my body clenches, so eager to be what he wants. To please him. His fingertips tickle my neck, teasing me. It’s too much. Too much pleasure. Too much lack of control. Too much—
“Please,” I cry. “Don’t do this. You’re going to make me come, and I can’t right now—”
“I love seeing you cry,” he interrupts. “You’re such a wreck. A beautiful fucking mess.” He pumps inside of me harder, his cock twitching, digging out my heart. I close my eyes, letting it overwhelm me. He slaps my face again, bringing my attention back to him. “You’remyfucking mess. My bloody little corpse. You hear that, Ren? You’re mine. Until the day you die. For the days after. Until both of us are worm food, and the world doesn’t remember us anymore. You. Are. Mine.”
His.
He squeezes my throat, and my vision goes black. In all of my ugliness, in all of my weakness, every time that I think I’m not good enough, Blaze still wants me. Sees me.Needsme. And I come, releasing all of that self-loathing, letting it go for once. Coming for him. Coming for myself too.
“You’re going to make me come, little corpse,” he groans, his hand finding my throat again, and I’m already there. Conditioned to respond exactly how he likes.
Those words split me apart.
Little corpse.
I’ve always been his little corpse.
“Then come,” I cry, the pleasure taking over my mind and soul. “Come for me!”
And he does. We jump over that cliff together, our emotions taking control of our actions and our logic, destroying our reasons in the confusing wake of pleasure and pain, and we fall down, deeper, and deeper, until we’re dissolved in the unknown, holding onto each other. Grasping for our last breaths.
Chapter27
Blaze
Our breathing is thick,like fog over a pier swallowing up the end of the walkway. Needy. Desperate. And as the pleasure wears off, Ren cries harder, the realization of everything that’s taken place finally becoming clear to her.
I forced her to face her fears. To acknowledge her mortality. To understand that it could still end right now.
And I had to face my own truth.
Neither of us wants that fight anymore.
I power off the television. She’s a shell, an empty vessel of herself, alone at the bottom of the ocean. My shoulders strain, resisting the urge to comfort her.
But I choose to inhabit her.
I thrust my nose into her hair and sniff her natural, oily scent. I pull her closer to me, refusing to let go. Her sobs strengthen, filling the emptiness around us with relief.
Deep down, I’m relieved too.
The gun lies with the rest of the weapons on the floor. When I took out the bullets earlier today, I had no concrete plans to do this to Ren. I didn’t expect her to come knocking on my door. But it was like my subconscious brain knewexactlywhat would happen. That I had to accept what’s going on inside of me. To face my own fears too.
After a while, Ren’s breathing relaxes. I force myself to match her, to surrender to the stillness, to use my own steady breathing as a way to bring her peace. She clears her throat, then snorts her stuffy nose. I turn toward her, my arm resting on her chest.
I’ve never had a woman in my bed before.
I fuck women. I rape them. I torture them. Ikillthem. I don’t let them occupy a place where I rest.
