Page 45 of Grave Love
“Mrs. Kono—no, that’s right,” I say. “Ren’s mother gave Ren her father’s surname.Not yours.” I laugh coldly. “If I’m not mistaken, Mrs. Richmond,youcould’ve been a great mother, or even a fantastic grandmother, but it’s sad, isn’t it?” I lower myself to her level. “You wastedyourpotential, didn’t you?”
Her chin wavers, her posture dipping slightly. I’ve struck a chord, even without saying the exact truth I’m hinting at. The grandmother evens herself out, pretending like I haven’t done anything to startle her.
“Excuse me?” the grandmother gasps. “You don’t know anything about me! What I’ve been through. Everything I do for Ren, for this family—”
“You want Ren to fail, don’t you?” I interrupt.
The grandmother gawks at me.I’m right.She doesn’t want to admit to herself, but it’s there, lingering in her silence. If Ren won’t be her little carbon copy, then she’s worthless to her.
“If Ren fails, then at least you’ll always be better than her. Better than your daughter too, right?” I snicker.
I know about her daughter’s death; gossip is easy to come by in a small town like this. Ren’s mother was supposed to take over her school too. They had a falling outrightbefore the grandmother disqualified her own daughter from the job.
“You have to be better thaneveryone,” I say. “Even those school children you help—they need you because you’resomuch more capable than they are. You’re even better than their parents, aren’t you? You break down others just so that you can see how small they are compared to you.”
The old bitch sizes me up. “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” she says.
“Ren does.” I turn toward Ren. She gnaws on her bottom lip nervously. “Don’t you, love?”
Ren shifts her stare between the two of us, analyzing how she’s supposed to move. If she’s supposed to be the submissive granddaughter, or if she’s supposed to be my little corpse.
Her choice doesn’t matter in the long run. Even if she bows to her grandmother right now, I’ll still use her. Still, the urge to push her inmydirection churns inside of me like a water spout twisting down from a black cloud.
“What do you have to lose?” I ask Ren.
Ren’s eyes meet mine, glimmering with the desire to act. To do likeshewants. An expression I know well.
She knows I’m right. If she’s going to die anyway, then why submit to her dictator’s every condescending whim?
“She has a lot to lose,” her grandmother beckons. “Ren is a good girl. She may have her tendencies, but she’s—”
“He’s right,” Ren says, interrupting her grandmother. She straightens her shoulders, then confronts the old bitch head on. “One of the teachers told me that my mother never wanted to take over the school. You forced her to turn down that job in Georgia, then fired her when she still wasn’t good enough for you.” She shakes her head, her cheeks tinting red. “Just because you want to mold us into miniature versions of you doesn’t mean you can. I’m not going to fall in line because I’m worried about disappointing you or about letting my mother down. My mother would’ve been proud of me for doing whatIwanted, for not lettingyoutell me what to do.”
“You didn’tchooseto work in that funeral home!” the grandmother snaps. “You were desperate. It was the first job you applied for!”
“And it wasmy choiceto apply there.” Ren grits her teeth, then turns to me. “Let’s go to that work function now.”
Ren’s chin trembles, afraid of the mess she’s made and simultaneously exhilarated by the power of it. She’s letting go of those shackles, finding a new way to move forward.
And, fuck me, my chest expands.
The grandmother opens her mouth, tries to find words, wags a disapproving finger at us, but she’s unable to speak. I wink at the old bitch, then offer my elbow to Ren. She takes it, and I escort her down the driveway.
I don’t open her car door like her grandmother probably expects a gentleman to behave; I let Ren help herself. The grandmother gawks at us from the front porch, floundering at the fact that her guilt and shame tactics have little power over Ren this time.
And that power swells inside of me. Hot. Like a helium balloon stretching up to the sky. I love doing the opposite of what society expects of me, and I know, unconsciously,Ren does too.
I drive immediately, not giving Ren a chance to buckle her seatbelt. Confusion sparks across her furrowed brow. I grin.
Finally, she straps her seatbelt.
I focus on the road, the reality sinking in. I have a problem now. Ren’s grandmotherknowsme. When Ren disappears, she’ll suspect me.
I can get rid of her if I need to. She’s older than my usual type, but she’s blond, and there’s a certain satisfaction in watching someone insufferable submit to torture.
Ren isn’t my usual type either. I’m more than willing to try different things to get what I want.
The highway darkens as we head out of town. A country song—the only music that comes in between the two cities—hums from the radio. The singer rambles about getting mud between your toes and how liberating it is to let go. To embrace the natural world and see the beauty in every living thing.
