Page 36 of Grave Love
“You hear those clients talking about the smell?” Denise asks. She sighs, then continues: “Blaze thinks a rat probably peed in one of the caskets. We’ve never had rats before. Still, I’m having him set traps.”
The silence pools between us, and the subtext becomes clear.
She knows the smell has to do with me.
If I get fired for this, I can’t work with Blaze. I don’t know why that bothers me, but I don’t want to screw up our arrangement. I just want to hold on to what I can for now. Because I haven’t cried yet today, and—
Screw the coffee. I need to get out.
I keep my head down, scurrying to the crematory. Denise follows me. My face burns, and though there’s no one in the retort right now, I twist the dials on the side of the machine to pretend like I’m working.
“Ren?” Denise asks.
Finally, I meet her eyes. I fill myself with a blank expression, crossing my fingers that she can’t see the shame or longing locked inside of me. I don’t even want to see it myself right now.
Because I know I liked every single moment with Blaze, and now everyone cansmellit.
“I know you slept here last night,” she says slowly, her eyes never leaving mine. “Did something happen with your grandmother again?”
Again?I wring my fists together. Are there cameras I don’t know about? Motion detection sensors linked to her phone? Does she know that last night wasn’t the first time I’ve stayed here after hours?
“Maybe you were drinking and… had an accident?” Denise asks.
I don’t move. She tilts her head, then straightens.
“You have your reasons,” she says sheepishly. “I get that. I can only imagine what it’s like to have a grandmother like Donna.”
I widen my eyes. “You know my grandmother?”
“Your grandmother came by when you first started working here. She—” Denise shakes her head. “It doesn’t matter. But call me next time, okay? It’ll be easier if you spend the night at my house. You know how the clients get. I want to avoid any”—she shrugs her shoulders—“issuesif I can help it. Anyway…” She heads toward the hallway, then gives me that warm, practiced smile. “If you need anything, let me know. If it happens again, I will have to take disciplinary action.”
I nod, my heart beating so loudly that it thrums in my ears. Denise leaves me alone, and I’m left with my telltale heart.
My boss knows.
Does she know exactly what happened, or does she just have a feeling?
Blaze thinks a rat probably peed in one of the caskets,she had said.
My stomach flutters with knots. Why would Blaze say that? Did he say that to throw Denise off of our scent—myliteralscent—or did he say that to tease me, knowing that she’d bring it up and ask me about it? Is he disgusted by me? By the fact that my ejaculation smellsthatpotent?
Does he know she saw me here this morning?
Work.That’s all I can do right now.
I transfer the hospital corpse from the refrigeration unit to the crematory. The family wants the body cremated as soon as possible; they need closure, I guess. Nobody wants to see a body in decomposition. Unless you’re me.
I hoist the body onto the conveyor belt, memories of last night flashing across my vision.Blaze lying my body down in the casket.The corpse goes into the chamber.Blaze’s palm reaches up, gripping my throat.I switch the dials and increase the temperature of the retort.The blinding light in Blaze’s eyes as he forces me to fight for my life and fight to come.
Does Blaze think I’m crazy? Or does he actually get off on it like I do?
Am I as messed up as a self-proclaimed killer?
We both came, didn’t we?
Knuckles wrap on the doorframe. This time, I whip around, ready to attack. Blaze leans to the side, holding a steaming mug of coffee. I blush. He chuckles, wiping a thumb across his dirt-speckled chin, his patronizing attitude shining through the friendliness. I scowl, but my grunt is empty. I don’t mean it. Maybe I even like the fact that he’s always judging me, because no matter what his final opinion is of me, we’re still connected. He still wants to kill me. He won’t give up on that.
Unless he’s a liar.
