Page 27 of Grave Love
“Everything is sexual when it comes to power, love. Control. Manipulation. Fear. That’s why you come here night after night, imagining someone who wants you enough to kill you. Someone who doesn’t care if you live or die. Someone who only wants to use your holes like you’re an inanimate object.”
My cheeks redden. He’s not…wrong.
It’s more than that though. My fantasy continuesafterme. Whoever he is—whether it’s Blaze or another faceless man—he never stops fucking me after I’m dead. Not even when my body is scraps of decaying meat. He finds meuseful.Pleasurable. There’s value in my corpse.
Even in death, I’m worthy.
“Have you ever watched someone die?” Blaze asks, interrupting my thoughts. A misty expression takes hold of him, like he’s imagining a paradise where he rules over his corpses. “There’s a look on their face in the exact moments before they’re gone, where they know—without a doubt—thatthis is the end.It might be milliseconds, but everyone gets it, even when it’s a shock to them.” His eyes narrow, his focus aimed off in the distance. “There’s another layer to someone who’s being killed though. Dread. The extreme emotion. The will to live soaring like lightning cracking across the sky, like fire whipping through dry leaves. It’s the most exquisite expression of free will.”
His pants twitch, his cock jerking against the fabric. His arousal is obvious.Potent.
Heat flushes through my body. Death like that is sexual to me too.
“Then why kill someone who wants to die?” I ask.
He smirks, knowing what I’m actually asking:Why me?Why kill a person who would rather be dead anyway? Why does murdering a person who doesn’t care if they live or die appeal to him?
“I imagine there’s another layer to someone who wants to die,” he says with a smile. “You want to know why I chose you, Ren? Because you’respecial.”
I roll my eyes. “Now you’re just being a dick.”
“The fact that you want death makes it easier for me to perfect my methods.”
His methods. Body disposal. Torture. It doesn’t matter what he means by that; it’sthere,lingering between us like ocean spray.
I tilt my head. “You’re not telling the whole truth.”
“I never promised that I would.”
He pours another glass of champagne into my flute. I suck it down.
He pours another.
“You told me you’ve killed women,” I say between glasses. “And you act like I should be grateful for what you’re doing for me. But you’re a coward, aren’t you? You tell me I’m afraid, but you, Blaze, areafraidof getting caught. You need to ‘perfect your methods’ because you know you’re not smart enough to do it better each time.”
This time, I’m the one grinning. It’s insane to be taunting a killer like him. To be honest, I don’t believe that he’s an actual killer. He may be crazy, but I’m crazy too. And until he finishes the job, Iwon’tbelieve him.
“You’re scared of prison, aren’t you?” I cackle. “You just want your next kill to be easy.”
His smile drops. I’ve hit a nerve. I don’t care though. I don’t care about the lies. About pretending. About being someone respectable. About being what my grandmother wants me to be. I don’t care about any of that when I’m with him.
We both simplyare.
“Fear exists in every corner of our imagination, love,” he says, his voice low and measured. “It takes a fucked up soul to actually face that existence and know that one day, it’ll consume us all. Just like it’s already consumed you.”
He stands, coming toward me. He puts his hand under the glass and brings it toward my mouth.
The room spins around me. I drink it all. Finishing it like he wants me to. Is this glass number three? Or four? Champagne gets me drunk easily.
Thisfeels different though. Too easy. Like he put something else in my drink.
Is he going to kill me tonight?
Or is this the ‘practicing’, like he promised?
“Did you drug me?” I ask.
“You fear not being good enough,” he says, ignoring my question. He cups my face, taking me in his palms like a snail with a crushed shell. “Don’t worry, little corpse. I already know everything about you. I already know how low you really are, and you’re exactly what I want. I’m going to take your existence and give it meaning. You are nothing but a pleasure toy for me to fuck and kill, and when I’m done with you, that’s all you’ll be. That brings you comfort, doesn’t it, love?”
