Page 55 of Dead Love
“A long time,” I said.
Her eyes met mine. “Why me?”
Could I tell her I had been hypnotized by her mix of innocence and darkness since the first time I saw her? That she drove me insane, thinking of the ways I wanted to torture her, to use her, to make her into my art, to literally paint her body on my walls? That she was an obsession that had led me down a path of mistakes and ruin and lack of thought, and now I was here, seeing the woman who was underneath all of that? The woman who relished in life, even when she was swallowed underneath all of those walls and barriers. Even when she was locked in a cage, by me.
“You fascinate me,” I said in a low voice. “Nyla was your first experience with real pain. I’ve never met someone so protected.”
And there was a chance that Kora would never have that level of pain again. I didn’t know whether I wanted to force her to experience more of that, or to save her from it. She gave me a sad smile, then her chin fell to the floor.
“I’m not the kind of person who can deal with stuff like that. Regularly, I mean.” She forced a laugh. “Feeling. Pain. Anything hard like that.”
With the back of my finger, I lifted her chin, making her eyes meet mine.
“You are stronger than you know, Kora Nova,” I said. “Think of everything you’ve been through. Your mother sheltered you your entire life. And then your best friend died. Your house burned down. You were ripped from your home. You had no experience with anything difficult, and now you’re here.” I narrowed my eyes. “I beat you, nearly tore the skin off of your nipples, suffocated you even, and you’re still here, still alive. Still thriving.”
She blushed, and I wanted to pull her into my arms and hold her tight, to never let her go.
But I did nothing.
“You really think that?” she whispered.
“Stop questioning it.” I grabbed her arms. “Feel it here.” I pointed to her chest. “You, Kora. You’ve endured so much.”
That flush spread across her face which she tried hard to suppress, but she couldn’t help it. She smiled. And that smile filled me. I enjoyed seeing her like this, figuring out what else I hadn’t expected of her. What else she could teach me. What we could learn about each other.
I turned away, shaking my head. None of that mattered. I wasn’t supposed to feel anything for her.
But perhaps this was part of the plan. Building her up so I could watch her fall.
“You know what?” she asked, grabbing my hand. “I’ve got an idea.” She pulled me into the kitchen. “Hear me out.” She held my hands and the electricity of her touch shot to my shoulders, tensing in my chest. “You’ve got a fridge full of food, right? One of us will be blindfolded, and the other will feed the person. So it’s not about the way it looks, but about the way it feels.”
I huffed out a breath. “Sensory play.”
“I call it being in the moment,” she grinned. “It’s worth a try.”
Before I could convince myself to lock her in the basement for the last time, I went to my bedroom and found a sash that would work as a blindfold.
“Me or you?” she asked.
“Is that a real question?”
She shrugged, then sat down and lifted her hair, the elegant curve of her neck exposed. I tied the sash over her eyes, my fingers touching her skin, and a layer of goosebumps erupted all over her shoulders.Damn it.I wanted to bite her neck.
Instead, I went through the fridge and found a few items, stacking them up on the table in front of us. I lifted a cold piece of pizza to her mouth.
“Hmm,” she hummed to herself, chewing the slice. “Flatbread. With mozzarella and arugula?”
“Pizza.”
“Coldpizza.” She sniffled. “My mother always made me heat it up.”
I stiffened, then forced myself to relax. Shea was far away. It was just us right then. Even the dogs were out in the backyard, roaming around. I opened a plastic container full of fleshy red seeds.
“Stick out your tongue,” I said.
And like a timid creature, she stuck it out. I placed a seed in her mouth, my mouth salivating at the sight of the decadent red on her plush tongue.
“Pomegranate,” she hummed. “Hmm. It’s not as bad as before. I never thought I’d acquire a taste for it.” I chuckled and a smile spread across her face. “I found some in the basement when I first got here.”
