Page 63 of Cunning Lies
I nod. “He took care of me from then on.”
That was when I met Dice, Cherry, and Niko. Dice was adopted into the family like I was, and Tomo had Niko with another woman, which makes Cherry the only child that was technically born within wedlock.
But Tomo and Gracie still raised all four of us like we were their own blood.
It was hard to avoid the similarities of my own history to Vi’s. Jay had gladly stepped into the role of raising Vi. I might have left my biological parents back in Los Angeles by choice, but Tomo and Gracie had taken that spot as soon as I had needed them. At twelve years old, I had no idea howmuchI needed them.
I’m grateful Tomo found me.
“Anyway, I get it,” I say. “When you said that sometimes you hurt your family, even if you don’t want to? I understand that. A little too well, actually.”
I scrub a hand over my face. Vi had said those words referring to Patrick, and I hate putting myself in the same position as him, but I want to relate to her right now, to show her that I know where she’s coming from. That she’s better than me.
“I was an ungrateful son, but I still think it was the best thing for all of us,” I say.
Vi pauses her movements, keeping her eyes on her hands. A swallow a lump in my throat. I shouldn’t be telling her this—she can use it against me or the Endo-kai—but it’s already out.
“I still send them money,” I say quietly. “Don’t know if they actually cash the money orders, but that money is theirs. And I’ve got a couple of people in L.A. that keep tabs on them for me.”
Vi comes over and puts a hand around my back, and I hold her palm tight against me. I hate it, but I’m attached to her. Whether it’s with mafia secrets or my own stupid history, Idon’twant to be careful around her.
“Sometimes, youdoget to choose your family,” I say. It’s like I’m begging her to choose the Endo-kai, to chooseme.And maybe I am. If that means I have to be the bigger man and accept Jay too, then I’ll consider it.
For her.
I’ll do anything as long as I don’t have to fulfill my duty of killing her.
She returns to the kitchen and fiddles with her supplies again. I must have said something wrong. I push my chair back, but I don’t move. She organizes the materials, and I try to figure out what I said.
“My uncle is nervous,” she says. “He thinks we’re next.”
We.He thinks I’d kill himandVi?
I shake my head. “He’s got nothing to worry about.”
“Try telling him that.” A few more seconds pass, and then she jumps up, her face lighting up like the Strip at nighttime. “Hey! What if we had a family dinner? Jay can get to know your family, and you’ll get to know him. Maybe it’ll be good for all of us.”
There’s a twinkle in her eye, a genuine hopefulness. Even if Jay is a piece of shit, I want to make her happy.
“Like a real family,” I say.
She bobs her head with excitement. “Do you want kids?”
I gawk at her, completely stunned that she’d jump to kids after what I’ve put her through. After the secrets I told her. When she knows I’m part of the yakuza.
She lifts her shoulders with a playful grin. “I know we’re not at that point, but I don’t know. I guess I always dreamed about it. Having my own family. Somewhere where I can make my kids feel safe. Just like you make me feel.”
There’s a dreaminess in her eyes, and my heart beats for her. Oil stains dot on her apron, and there’s a smear of dye on her cheek. She tucks hair behind her ear, and I fucking melt. Everything about her is perfect.
“Your own kid?” I ask. “Biological?”
“Maybe! Or adoption. Actually, yeah,” she laughs, wiping her nose. “That’s what I want. I want to give someone a home, like Uncle Jay did for me. Like what Tomo did for you.”
I nod. That makes sense. Kids don’t get to choose their family, but as parents, we can choose for them. And we can choose to give them safety and comfort. A home. Like Vi wants.
“What about you?” she asks.
I had never even thought about getting married until recently, and having kids hasn’t been on my radar until this moment. I guess I had always assumed I would get married and have kids, because that’s how society dictates our lives.
