Page 62 of Broken Surrender
With that word, everything that had finally made sense shifted back into blurry shapes that didn’t mean anything. I grabbed my neck, trying to pull myself together, but then I faced the door.
“Don’t follow me,” I said.
And then, I left.
CHAPTER 21
Lena
My ears rang with Desmond’s words in my head:You didn’t want me. You wanted attention.I forced myself to move, made sure the guards weren’t following me, and that my driver left me alone.You are a lonely, pathetic woman,he had said. I drove until Opulent Gates was no longer in my rearview mirror. I didn’t know where I was going, but I had to keep moving.You’re right: I just wanted to use you.
That stupid panic button was biting into my thigh. I clutched it in my fingers, holding it to the open window, dangling it above the pavement. I groaned at myself, then brought it inside, shoving it back into my pocket.
I kept it. I don’t know why. It was just a crutch for both of us.
I ended up in Oakmont, driving through those tall trees. A deer trotted across the road, and when I came to my old manufactured home community, my gut twisted. I shoved it down, not letting those thoughts come up. Aaron’s car was missing, and aFor Salesign stuck out of the lawn. Since when had Aaron actuallywantedto move?
After knocking, I found the spare key and let myself in. It was quiet, but spotless. The tables were cleared. There was an unopened liter of coke and a six-pack of beer in the fridge, but otherwise, it was empty. The carpet was still stained, part of the flooring ripped out of the kitchen, and the bathroom stunk like mildew.
But maybe hehadleft.
It was crappy of me to compare Desmond to Aaron and John. I had known that it would sting, and I had said it to hurt him. But that wasn’t fair of me. I knew, as well as he did, that he had done more for me than John and Aaron combined.
And still, Desmond was wrong. Iwascontent to be by myself. I had been alone with John for far longer than I cared to admit. So it wasn’t about being lonely. It was about how Desmond made me feel.
And maybe it was the same for him. Maybe he had intended to use me to get to my husband, and could I blame him for that? If I had any family left in this world, I would have done the same.
I picked up a picture frame that had been knocked down, one Aaron had taken of me back when we were in high school. I was smiling in the picture, and at the time, we were still in love. In my mind, the future was ours, but now I knew it was a lie.
But Desmond had been honest. He had told me from the beginning what his intentions were. And maybe he had lost sight of them, like I had.
Maybe things changed, and that was okay.
I locked up the home, then I drove up to Northside to Just Juice, the smoothie bar I used to work at. Though Oakmont was not a place where people bought smoothies, itwasa place where the residents commuted to the richer, neighboring cities to make overpriced smoothies for minimum wage. My old neighbor, Gina, had gotten me the job.
The door chime jingled. Gina howled over the whirring blender, her cackle erupting through the room: “Come over here!” She threw off her apron and came around the counter, wrapping me in a bear hug. “Where have you been, stranger?” she asked. “And how have you been? Did you change your number?”
Her curly white hair was pinned to the top of her head. She seemed tired, as always, but strong.
“My husband did.” My eyes fell to the ground. “It’s a long story. But you finally moved to Northside?”
“Finally!” she exclaimed. “You know Aaron’s moving?”
“I heard.”
“Everyone’s finally getting out.” She grabbed my shoulder, squeezing it. “Look at the trend you started. Say, what are you doing here, anyway? Don’t you have a rich husband to take care of?”
I laughed, warmth filling me. She smacked me on the back, then eyed my outfit up and down.
“You didn’t get that from the thrift shop,” she said.
I stiffened. She had no idea what was going on in Opulent Gates, only that I was richer now than we could have dreamed of back in Oakmont. But to some extent, she was right. My husband was gone, but Ididhave someone to look out for. Despite everything he could have done or had planned to do, Desmond had protected me. And I looked out for him in my own way too, even if that meant calling him out on his mistakes.
I wasn’t going to throw it away because of some stupid fight. Whatever had happened in the beginning, didn’t matter anymore. As long as we treated each other right from now on.
“What’s that smile for?” Gina asked. She returned to her blender behind the counter. “I ought to give you an apron and put you to work.”
My chest tingled. I imagined bringing Desmond and Corinne here, showing them my old place of work. But before that could happen, Desmond needed to finish his goal. And I honestly couldn’t blame him for avenging his sister.
