Page 89 of Crawl
“Cash—”
I put a finger to her lips. “I love you,” I say.
Finally, her shoulders drop, and she melts into me, both of us relieved.
“I love you too,” she whispers.
I scoop her into my arms and bring her to the downstairs office for the last time. The sunlight glitters on the broken glass covering the floor. The room is empty without the newspaper, and knowing that Winstone and Remedy’s stepdad aren’t dead in the crawl space anymore makes it bittersweet. I imagine it’s like visiting an old home; there’s familiarity and comfort in everything you know, but it’s not yours anymore, and it will never be the same.
But I still have her. Remedy is my home.
I lay her down on the rug over a few small shards of glass, then I remove the blindfold and earplugs from the desk. She tenses, but I hold her down, not letting her move, and her eyes soften like it’s comforting to be surrounded by force. Once the blindfold and plugs are in, I undress her, kissing every inch of her body until she shivers with anxiety. This is gentle, the kind of touch that repulses her. And that’s why I need to do it. I need to show her that she can trust me, no matter what we do. I need her to know that I’m only doing this for her.
And maybe, somewhere inside of me, I need to know that she trusts me too. She needs those three words, and I need this. This is my proof.
I drag a finger between her pussy lips, her arousal wetting my fingertip. But I take out my pocketknife and drag it along her inner thighs until white lines paint her skin.I’m still here,I say through those knife lines.You can trust me. You’re lying on broken glass and I’m using this knife. This is gentle, but I’m still here.
She relaxes, and those shivers stop. One day, she’ll be able to have pure pleasure without pain again, but it’ll take slow steps like this. I remove one of her earplugs.
“Do you want me to stop?” I ask.
“No.” Her chin trembles, but she shakes her head. “Please, don’t stop.”
The plug squishes back into her ear and the tears roll down her cheeks. I keep kissing her, teasing her with the spiked end of the blade, and kissing her lips and skin, softer than before, and she writhes her hips into me, wanting more. And as I press a finger in between her pussy lips, those sobs unleash. I drop the knife and pull her into my arms, covering her with my body like a giant blanket, to let her know that this is okay. Whatever she needs, I’m here for her. Even if she needs the knife. Even if she never wants me to touch her like this again. Even if she just needs to cry. But she wraps her arms and legs around me and thrusts her hips forward, and I know what she wants.
I undress quickly, then rip off her blindfold and earplugs. I want to see her face. Every twist of pleasure. Her sweet agony. And with every moan and growl that forces itself out of my soul, I want her to hear what she does to me.
“I love you,” I say, my voice hoarse. Her lips move to say it back to me, but I can’t wait. I plunge inside of her, my dick filling up her tight cunt, each press of my hips deliberate, and her three little words turn into succulent screams. The tears finally stop and pleasure builds up inside of her, her skin flushing from head to toe, and that’s enough for me. I don’t need those words; I just need to see her lose herself in us. I rock my dick inside of her until the orgasm crashes through both of us, and we’re lost in pure bliss.
EPILOGUE
one year later
Cash
“Happy Unbirthday!” Remedy shouts as I open the door. She pops her hips to the side, pointing to a cake stacked with an insane amount of candles on the kitchenette counter. The pink scar on her cheek stretches with her smile, mirroring the fresh scar on mine. A new, skimpy black dress shows off the new lace pattern on her upper thighs, her onyx wedding ring glimmering with the candlelights. “Guess how many candles this time?”
“One hundred?” I ask.
She tilts her head. “One day you’ll get your triple digits,” she smirks.
Bones’s new collar jingles down the hallway. I need to take off the bell—we’re not supposed to have pets in this monthly motel—but right now, I want Remedy. I grab her ass and kiss her deeply. This is our pattern: the three of us, Bones included, never stay in one place for long, and we make ‘friends’ in each area. If Remedy has a preference—usually someone she thinks ‘deserves’ it—then I kill that person, stealing their money along with it. No one misses a foreigner. But if she doesn’t, I pick the one who will last the longest. It’s more entertaining that way.
And every once in a while, it’s my birthday or unbirthday or whatever Remedy wants to call it, and I beat her ass and choke her until she comes so hard, she passes out. I don’t care for the cake—I’ve never been into sweets—but I do like the beatings.
This unbirthday has us on a little island off the coast of Mexico. I blow out the flames and Remedy squeals, immediately taking the candles out in handfuls.
“Hey,” I say, stopping her. “Count them.”
As she counts, her eyelids flutter, knowing that I’m going to make her count again later too. I dip my finger into the cake, then lick the icing off of my finger. She watches me swirl my tongue, knowing that’s exactly how I’m going to feast on her clit later. A coppery taste comes through the sugar; blood is still stuck in my fingernails, and my dick hardens for her. The last time I watched Remedy kill a man pops into my mind. Blood covered her hands and stomach, and in the chaos, blood even smeared her pussy, and I licked it off of her. I’ve still got her beat by plenty of bodies, but she’s slowly building up her count. She’s at four now.
What we have is rare, but that’s what makes it special. We’re alike in so many ways, but I like that she’s different from me too. She needs a reason; I don’t. But I like that about her.
Her burner phone vibrates, and when I see the phone number, I motion for her to take the call. It’s her mom.
She mouths,Sorry.
“Gives me a chance to make sure you’re not skipping candles,” I tease.
