Page 53 of Dangerous Deviance
“I am,” I cried, desperate to please him. I needed, more than anything, to see her. “I want to see her. Please.”
Edward’s feet walked to the corner. Then Dr. Bates came forward. He slipped a knife into the ground, the handle locking into a contraption built into the concrete. The knife stood straight up.
I kept my eyes on him. Not the knife.
“When it comes to our enemies, you must be willing to put yourself through even the most gruesome situations,” he murmured. “You want to see your sister?”
“Yes,” I whispered.
“Prove it.” Those words coursed through me. I remembered the first time he had spoken them to me. What did I have to do now? “You must sit on the knife. Penetrate yourself with the blade. Your sister did this too, Ellie. And you’re so close. So close to seeing her again. But you must endure this. You must prepare for the enemy.”
I closed my eyes, my head still resting on the floor. “I can’t. I can’t. I can’t,” I muttered, not sure if I was actually saying the words. How could I? How could I deliberately cut myself?
“You can, and youwill, Ellie. The doctors on site will make sure that you don’t develop an infection. But you must prove yourself, that you’re stronger than your fear. Stronger than your desire to flee. Your sister could do it, and so can you.” He kneeled down, holding my chin, making it rise so that I had to look into his eyes. He licked his lips, his eyes staring into me, seeing what I needed so badly. “You’re just like her, Ellie. But better. Stronger. More beautiful,” he whispered. His eyes lingered on my lips, and for the first time, I wondered if he was attracted to me. But he was like a father to me; I didn’t see him that way.
And yet I knew that if that’s what Dr. Bates wanted, I wouldn’t have a choice.
“Now, get up,” he said. My legs shook as I stood slowly. “You will survive this. This is nothing compared to what you will endure. For your sister. In her honor.”
Her honor?
My lips trembled, and I shook my head. “Dr. Bates, please,” I whispered.
“Don’t make me tell you again.”
I closed my eyes, standing over the knife, thinking of my sister in that same position. Why had she endured this? What caused her to think that this would be okay? That it was better to hurt herself than to try and escape?
Had she run away, before or after she completed this task?
Was she trying to protect someone too? Who had brought her here?
How could I find her when I was so alone? So trapped.
But I could do this. To save her. To rescue her. If I endured this, then maybe she wouldn’t have to do it ever again. I could get her out. I just needed to figure out where she was.
I slid onto the knife. It cut my lips like butter and I shot up, unable to do it anymore.
Blood ran in spirals down my thighs. “Please,” I cried.
“Elena,” Dr. Bates said, his voice booming. He came forward, grabbing my shoulders. “Do it. For your sister.” A smile gleamed across his face. “Trust me, Ellie. I won’t let it kill you.”
You?
Had it killed someone before?
I closed my eyes, bending my knees again. The knife hit my ass, and I jumped up, then quickly hit it again. Then I slid off, falling to the floor.
“That’s it,” Dr. Bates said, rubbing my back. His fingertips soothed the scarred skin. “Edward?” he asked.
Footsteps returned. His shadow drifted over us. I clenched every muscle in my body. Not him. I couldn’t endure more of this.
My throat clenched, my body achingly full of tears. I was so close to giving up, and I felt guilty, disappointed in myself. But I couldn’t let go. I had to keep going. For her sake.
Because if it meant seeing Julie, what wouldn’t I do?
When would all of this stop?
“You may stay like that, Ellie,” Dr. Bates said. He pulled his fingers through my hair, moving it off of my neck. “Edward is going to give you a tattoo, to mark your time here at the Skyline Shift.”
