Page 33 of Dangerous Deviance
“Look at me,” I demanded. But Ellie inched away, slipping out from under me. My heart rate quickened, my temperature rose until the anger pulsed inside of me. Still, she kept her eyes away from me. “Do I need to teach you a lesson?” I asked. When she said nothing, I let a small sigh escape me. Did I have to do everything myself? “All right,” I said. I got off of the couch, stowed the knife in my pocket, then backed away from her. She sat upright, her arms crossed in front, guarding herself.
I should have been sympathetic, should have cared that she was afraid. And the truth was that somewhere inside of me, I did care. I didn’t want her to be afraid. She didn’t understand that I wanted to protect her, more than anything, but I also wanted to use her how I wanted, and that meant using a knife against her skin, toying with that fear of death that lived in each of us.
But I wasn’t Ellie. I didn’t put another person’s comfort ahead of my own. I knew what I wanted, and what I needed to teach her. Shehadto face her fears. You couldn’t survive in my world by running away.
“I’m going to give you a choice,” I said. “The knife, or the belt.” Finally, she looked at me. She opened her mouth, but I cut her off. “Don’t think that just because you’re being given a choice means that you won’t get the knife. I’m simply asking what you want to face right now.”
She bit her lip. “The belt,” she whispered.
“Bend over the back of the couch,” I instructed. “Remove your shirt.” I unlocked the buckle. The leather strap whipped out of my pant loops in a sliding hiss. And when she finally slipped out of that shirt, exposing her back, that rippled skin stared back at me. Keloids and pockmarks, almost as if a person had dug into her skin repeatedly, never letting it heal.
Perhaps she didn’t remember because she didn’t want to.
My face twitched, the back of my throat dry, but Ellie laid against the back of the couch with ease. As if she knew what was coming, and still, she wasn’t afraid. Whatever she had gone through, it had been so much worse than this.
But that didn’t stop me.
The first strike went across her back. She didn’t move. Didn’t make a single sound. Before I did the next one, I moved to the side, so I could see her face. The second strike lashed across her back, the belt wrapping along her side, and she closed her eyes, going to that place where she stared off into the distance, trying to remember.
I struck again, harder this time, but still, she didn’t make a sound. Why was I doing this? Why did I want a reaction so much, when it was evident that a belt clearly hurt? The scarred skin didn’t color, but the blank sides of her body had turned purple in line with the belt. I wasn’t going to get a reaction, no matter how hard I tried.
Not unless I used the knife.
“Look at me, Ellie,” I commanded again. She turned around, her breasts supple and smooth compared to her back, and her eyes stayed focused on mine this time, not daring to look anywhere else. “You want to prove yourself to me? Show me how you deserve to be helped? Why I shouldn’t kill you?”
I pulled the knife out of my pocket once again, clicking it into place. Her chin shook back and forth, her mouth open, but her words never came.
It wasn’t about Ellie’s obedience at all anymore. She needed to face her fears, but this? This rage inside of me, it was about Muro. About knowing the fact that everything was about to change. Our criminal reign was in jeopardy, and it was easier to punish Ellie, knowing that I could keep her safe, if only she would obey me and learn to trust me. As if this punishment would make her mine.
Shewasmine, but only in her body. I wanted it all. And for that, I needed her complete trust.
“You’re going to fuck yourself,” I said. I pointed the knife handle towards her, then offered it. “Show me how badly you want it. How badly you want me.” I forced a grin. “And if you put on a good show, I’ll fuck you instead.”
She didn’t take the knife, so I put it in her hand. She lifted her shoulders and face, trying to get farther away from it.
“But Wil, there’s—”
“There are no ‘buts’ when it comes to this,” I sneered. “You either do, or you don’t. But if you know what’s good for you,” I leaned down, pressing my nose into her neck, the knife between us, knowing that I was in danger too, letting her hold the knife, “you’ll do as I tell you.”
I kissed her neck, gently at first, but it wasn’t until my teeth met her skin that she relaxed, letting go of her grip on the knife. I pressed my leg onto her pussy, making her grind into me, making sure that she could feel my dick hard against her. Made her moan for it.
Then I stood up and waited.
At first, she was hesitant, not knowing what to do. The knife was on the couch now, between her legs. She pulled down her jeans, revealing those sturdy thighs. She sat back on the couch, spreading her legs, and picked up the knife, biting her lip.
She turned the handle towards herself, but she couldn’t move. Couldn’t obey me.
I kneeled down, looking at her cunt and the knife’s handle right next to it. Those scars on her pussy lips were darker in the moonlight, like strokes of black paint. I didn’t know what had happened, but I knew it was terrible. A surgery gone bad, like I had assumed, wasn’t even close. This was worse.
I looked up into her eyes. A tear slipped down her cheek. But she avoided me, not wanting to see my disappointment.
But it wasn’t that at all. In some way, I understood. I didn’t know what had happened to her, but I knew it was horrifying, whatever it was. Something so traumatic, her brain must have forced her to forget.
“What happened to you?” I said, my voice soft.
Her lip quivered. “I don’t know,” she whispered.
And if I ever found out what had happened to her, if anyone had dared to lay a hand on her, I wouldn’t let them breathe ever again. I would make sure of it, bury their face into the ground, until they were one with the earth, ready to decay, being left to the vultures. But what I wanted, right now, was for her to trust me, to know that even if she had to face her fears, that it would be okay. That I would protect her, even if the knife scared her. I grabbed the knife and pressed it down, lower, until the handle was level with her cunt. She gasped, squirming at the touch, but I held her hand there, waiting for her to settle down.
