Page 83 of Devoured
“Yeah, Mama Bear! Why not do that tonight?”
The words were overwhelming. I tried to shut them out.
“I can’t do anything like that,” I said. Silence fell over them in shock. “Because the truth is,” I paused, swallowing a dry gulp of air, “The truth is that Roland already did that.”
Silence followed that answer. Ice knocked together in a glass. They shifted in their stances.
Finally, someone spoke up: “He did what?”
“Freed us,” I said. “Erased our debts.”
Simultaneously, the servers started checking their phones. Kendall was in the back, watching the rest of the group accessing their accounts.
“It says here that my debt has been paid off for a while.”
“How long ago did he do this?”
“Did you know the whole time?”
“Iris?”
They all turned to me again. As much as this was going to suck, I knew they deserved the truth.
“I knew,” I said.
“But you didn’t say anything.”
“I could have gone to be with my family.”
“My mom is in the hospital, but you kept it a secret. Why?”
“You lied to keep us here?”
I shrank down, slumping to the floor, looking at my hands, trying to block out their words. They were right. I knew they were. I was a jerk. This wasn’t acceptable. I had done it, only thinking about the club, about the best way to own it, so that I would finally have a home. I never stopped to consider what they might want. All I knew was that I needed them there until I could convince Roland to give me the club. But it was selfish. So horribly selfish.
Had I been selfish with Roland too?
“You guys act all high and mighty like you don’t understand where Iris is coming from,” Kendall said, her voice loud, breaking through the rest. Everyone stopped talking and turned to her. “Look. Iris knew y’all would quit. And now, you can.” She shrugged. “Sure, it’s shitty. But you know Mama Bear. After all that she’s done for us, you can give her a pass on this one.” Kendall rolled her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest. “I’m sure, whatever the reason was, Iris was probably trying to do what was best for us. So,” Kendall looked over the crowd of servers, to me sitting on the ground, practically tucked in the fetal position. “Boss Mama,” she said. I looked up. “Are we required to work here tonight?”
“No,” I said quietly.
“There. You have it.” Kendall shook her head. “But give Iris the common courtesy of finishing this last night. Hell, if you like your work here, you should stay. I’m going to stay.” She shimmied her shoulders at those words. “But Iris has done a lot for us here. I think we can all handle one more night. Besides, the entire earning goes towards our accounts. Or hell, spend those club members’ money and let’s throw a party!”
The servers spoke quietly to each other. Some went to pack their bags, while others returned to the dressing room to finish getting ready. I scooched across the floor until I was leaning on the closed oven, still warm from heating up someone’s dinner. I closed my eyes. How had I screwed up this badly? Always thinking about the Dahlia District. It was supposed to be my home, my sanctuary, but I had only thought of it as a business. I forgot to think about others. How my decisions would affect everyone else. Including Roland.
Roland was right. I always put business first. It was his downfall, and mine.
Kendall crouched down in front of me. “Hey,” she said. “What’s wrong with you?”
Despite her tone, I was almost positive that she was trying to be there for me. “Roland is gone.”
“So?”
“So I failed,” I said. “You were right. We need him to help make this club a better place.”
“Hell no.” She grabbed my arms and I flinched, a flash of adrenaline running through me, my body instantly remembering her strength from years ago. Kendall kept her grip strong. “Pull yourself together. We don’t need him. This club will be fine with or without him.”
“I know,” I said. But it still felt hopeless.
