Page 70 of Ravaged
His jaw strained. “Why won’t you fight—”
“Please,” I said, interrupting him. I reached over and put a finger on his lips. “Tell me, what would happen if I ran away? If I fought for my life?” I looked in his eyes, but he had no words. I continued, “You, or the other Adlers, maybe even the Midnight Miles Corporation, would come looking for me. And it wouldn’t take long.” My body sagged, melancholy heavy on my shoulders. “Please, Ethan. Don’t ask me those questions anymore. Just let it be. Let us be.” I squeezed his shoulder. “If this is my last night with you, then I don’t want to think about that anymore. I want to be with you.” I rubbed his arm. “Help me forget.”
His eyes flicked down, then raised to mine. “What do you want?”
What would you want, if it was your last night on earth?
“Will you bring my harp in here?” I asked. “The one from the Dahlia District?”
“We can go out there,” he said, pointing towards the door. “No one will mind.”
I shook my head. “This room has been my world. My life with you.” I pointed at the harp at the foot of the bed. “It’s a good one, better than mine. But I want mine. If this is—” I sucked in a breath, trying to make it less painful, “—if this is the last time I’ll play, I want it to be with my harp.”
“They might make you play,” he said. “They might keep you as a slave instead.”
As if that made it any better.
“Don’t,” I said, holding back the tears from welling in my eyes. “Let it be.”
After a moment of silence, Ethan took the Adler’s harp out of the room and retrieved mine. I rubbed my wrists where the bruises were from the cuffs. I hadn’t worn them since cooking dinner, but like my necklace, it felt like I was missing a part of me now.
I had always known that this would be how it ended. And if it meant protecting Dad… If it meant that Ethan could prove himself to the other Adlers, then why should I fight it?
He brought in the lap harp. Bittersweet happiness swept through my soul, seeing my old friend. I sat on the bench, cradling it in my arms. After tuning it, I played, closing my eyes and smiling, imagining I was performing for a crowd for the last time. Dad was there, standing up and cheering. Iris was in the wings of the stage, giving me that satisfied smirk that I adored. And Ethan was there, too, in the very front row, his eyes locked on mine. Proud of the music. Proud of me.
I opened my eyes. Ethan’s gaze was locked on me like that. That part of the daydream wasn’t a fantasy at all. Ethan had always looked at me like that whenever I played music. As if he was in awe of me every single time. As if he actually enjoyed it. As if he truly cared.
He might have had to prove himself as an Adler, but deep down, I knew he had a heart, and that heart was dedicated to those he loved.
Like me.
“Will you save my father?” I asked. He shot daggers at me with that gaze, but I pleaded. “I know it’s stupid, but I had to try to save him. One last time.”
“He’s the reason you’re going to die,” Ethan said in a low, angry voice, “and you want me to save him?”
“Yes.”
“I’d rather kill him for putting you in danger like this.”
“If he dies, then this—” I gestured around us, “—then this will be all for nothing. And I can’t live, or die, with that.”
He came closer and grabbed my hands, removing them from the strings. “I’m not going to make any promises.”
“Fine,” I said, irritation in my voice.
“I can’t save you, Tea,” he said. “What makes you think I’d save him?”
“Because you love me.” He blinked hard, but he didn’t move. He waited for me to continue. “And I love you, Ethan. The world might be falling down around us, crushing me and leaving you alive, but whatever this is,” I squeezed his hand, “this is real. It’s us.”
“You’re just saying that,” he said, his voice hesitant, as if he didn’t believe his own words. “You’re lying to me.”
“Why would I lie now?”
“To save your life.”
I gave him a half-smile. “I’m as good as dead already.” We both knew that.
In my heart and soul, I knew that I had chosen this. There were plenty of times I could have run away, but I didn’t, because I wanted to be good to him. It was stupid, and pathetic, and maybe even desperate at times, but I couldn’t change the way I felt, and I wasn’t going to fight it anymore.
