Page 56 of Ravaged
CHAPTER 17
Teagen
When Ethan finally came back that night, his lips were pressed together tightly, his eyes glossing over me, trying so hard to pretend as if I wasn’t there. He stormed into the shower; the water fell in large drops, as angry as he was, and when he got into bed, he sighed, pulling the covers tight over his shoulder.
His last words ran through my mind:Do you even know what you want?
That question had stuck with me. Under the circumstances, I think anyone in my position would have tried to be friendly with their captor, in order to survive, to save their own skin. But would I have liked Ethan, if it weren’t for my chains?Yes. He was decisive in a way that I wasn’t. He knew exactly what he wanted, and what stood in the way. He fought back, pressed forward, and he wasn’t afraid of anyone. He was fearless.
Except when it came to me.
And there was that hidden side of him, the one that was drawn to music, but more powerful than that, there was his urge to protect others, people who needed it, even when he knew he shouldn’t help them. That softer side, the one he kept hidden. The one he never let show.
Except when it came to me.
I tucked myself in bed next to him, letting my toes graze against his calves. He pulled them away. I dragged my fingers along his back. Goosebumps surrounded my fingertips, but as soon as the metal chain between my cuffs clicked together, he flinched.
“What do you want?” he asked, his voice pained.
“You,” I said. He flopped onto his back, staring up at the ceiling with wide eyes.
“You don’t want me,” he gave a heavy sigh, “It’s a survival instinct.”
I waited for a moment, letting some time pass. I might have liked him, but the truth was that we might not have ever met, had he not been sent to abduct me.
But that was our reality.
I grazed my fingers over his muscular thigh and danced my fingertips over to his cock. He twitched, growing hard for me. But this time, he swatted at my hand. Pushing me away.
“You’re afraid of me,” I said. He went still, listening to me. “I know you think this is all manufactured, like I’m only doing this so I won’t die. But here’s the thing: I know I’m not going to be around much longer,” I breathed, “so why not do what I wantnow?”
He turned his head toward me. “You know you’re not going to be around much longer?”
“Yes,” I said in a soft voice. “I’m not stupid. I know I’m going to die.”
Saying it out loud made my stomach twist in knots, but I had always figured something like this would happen. Dad’s bad mistakes kept getting worse. It was only a matter of time. Maybe it was even luck that I was still alive.
“I know you like me,” I said. I moved my hand to his chest, running my fingers through the soft hair. “Why can’t you give in?”
He turned towards me, leaning on his hand. “You want sex that badly?”
“You don’t?”
“Are you forcing yourself to do this?”
“Sex makes me whole,” I said. I know that didn’t make sense, so I started over. “It makes me feel good. Like I’m fulfilling a purpose.”
“That’s because of your work at the Dahlia District.”
“But does it matter how that feeling came to be?” I tilted my chin and reached for his hand. “Believe it or not, Ethan, I like you. You saved me. You’ve been kind to me when you didn’t have to. I want to thank you for it.”
“You don’t have to thank me with sex.”
“But I want to,” I said. “I want your hands on me.”
The silence spread thin between us for a few moments. I wanted to believe that he understood me. But I knew that as much as my judgment was clouded, so was his. This situation wasn’t the best for either of us.
“I like you for more reasons than sex,” he said.
